What We're Up To.....

2011-12-22T07:47:00.000-08:00

I just want to share some snapshots of Amelia, and how I see her today.

2011-11-16T02:29:00.000-08:00

No, we didn't skip her birthday this year... This is the first time I haven't posted about Amelia' birthday right away, but I think it's somewhat understandable, since it was all in the midst of total chaos for us as a family. Although I did not capture the pictures I'd hoped for, I do want to record the event, since this is the closest thing I do to scrapbooking or keeping a baby book. Life is so full, and I want to remember these times.
Amelia turned five! Her two requests for her birthday were a crown and gluten-free chocolate cupcakes. We made those things happen, and quite a lot more! In addition to a tiny party at her grandparents' house, we wanted to take a day in Portland to do all of her favorite things, just as we had done the three birthdays before. It seemed especially important since we don't know when we'll be in Portland again for her birthday.
We started the day with friends at Slappy Cakes, where you can make your own breakfast right at the table. Our other child guest was Chloe, our former neighbor, and she and Amelia had a blast.

Waiting for the party to start, Amelia all dressed up in her crown, and she has a big fluffy tutu under her dress. She loved the amount of attention her crown generated, and had lots of opportunities throughout the day to announce her birthday and soak up all the attention and good wishes.

We ordered some bottles of gluten-free pancake batter and plenty of toppings, and then Amelia and her buddy both made pancakes and commissioned some special ones, like this kitty cat. After lots of pancakes and syrup, the staff also came out with a gluten free banana fritter, which she dug into, and this is sort of where all that left her:

She recovered and let the sweets work their loopy magic on her and Chloe-- their antics were really hysterical!

This is my favorite picture from the day, with Chloe laughing so hard at her shenanigans!

That was fun, and we had a great time with our neighbors. Next, it was off for our birthday tradition-- this was Amelia's fourth year to ride the sky tram on her birthday.

While we were riding up to the top where OHSU is situated, our tram conductor radioed to the staff at the entrance that there was a little birthday princess on her way. They met us with stickers and a little pair of binoculars! That was so sweet. We walked up to the park area up there, where a farmer's market was being held. Amelia sampled everything and received plenty of birthday greetings. A few days before her birthday, she had befriended someone in a bookstore. This lady found out that Amelia's birthday was coming up, and pulled two dollars out of her purse and gave them to Amelia to buy herself a gift with! So Amelia spent that money on a fresh-squeezed orange juice. It was a hot day, so we soaked our feet in a fountain and rested.

We basically spent the rest of the day visiting fountains all over Portland-- I think five, total. We also went to Finnegan's toy store for Amelia to play for a while.

After so many little stops, it was finally time to meet our friend Elie for our main gift to Amelia: a Moroccan dinner! Amelia has always loved experiences more than things. We have tried many times to think of toys or presents she would actually play with, but it always ends up being a bust. What she loves is stories, food, going new places, and learning things about other parts of the world. Could we have a child more compatible for the life we've been living?! So she had been really looking forward to eating Moroccan food, getting her hands washed with orange flower scented water, sitting on poufs around little tables, etc. It was dark, so I didn't get many good pictures, but this is a sweet one with Elie.

Amelia's birthday is my favorite holiday of the year. She is such an interesting little person, and I love to just take the time to delight her and do all of the things I know she likes. It was a long day, but it was also great to make time in that crazy week to spend our energies on her, and Jeff and I had a blast too!

2011-05-10T16:38:00.000-07:00

What Goes Around, Comes Around...

Anyone remember this?
This Mother's Day I got some payback. Amelia was the sweetest little thing, totally eager to make my day special. Not only did she think of getting me the latest Emmylou Harris CD herself, but she gave me a little spa treatment. (With Papa's help, of course!)

Getting the warm soaking water ready...

A couple minutes to soak.

Papa demonstrates loofah scrubbing.

No instruction needed for the massage part!

It's fun having a family!
Speaking of which, my brother Luke took these nice pictures for us when he visited this weekend.

2011-03-06T10:46:00.000-08:00

Unhappy Trails...

Amelia has been the best little traveling companion-- cheerful, enthusiastic, energetic, flexible... Until yesterday, when we hit a wall. It lasted all morning as well. Her legs were "broken," her stomach was "shrinking," she was mad, she was bored, she wanted to go back "home" to spend time with our host, she wanted to kick things and scream, etc, etc. Total misery. She just about ruined it for us. Pulling out the camera to capture all of her angst helped her turn the corner.

And, of course, finally seeing the Eiffel Tower sealed the deal. Hoping for a fairly happy, hardy tomorrow.

2011-02-27T12:20:00.000-08:00

Amelia gives us a tour of her Kindergarten!

2011-02-10T04:32:00.000-08:00

Tough Traveler
On our last trip (to Nuremburg and Munich) Amelia had all sorts of travel phrases just rolling off the tongue. "Are we going to check into our hotel?" "What time does our train leave?" "Where's the train station?" "Do we need to check out now?" She is so savvy, and loves demonstrating her worldly knowledge. She is always up for anything (unless it seems too ordinary.)

Even though we probably wouldn't have chosen to live in three different countries in one year, we are thankful on a daily basis that this is Amelia's idea of a good life. She loves traveling. Honestly, if we could stay in a hotel every night (preferably a different one each time) and eat in new restaurants every day, she would be ecstatic. All of her dreams are coming true right now, as we pack up again. Not only will she be visiting friends and family in Portland, but we will be seeing Italy and France, and flying to Portland from Paris. We will stay in hotels and other peoples' homes, and eat in all sorts of places over the next few months. I imagine this would be just awful for most children, with no sense of stability whatsoever! Knowing Amelia, she will be friendly, charming, observant, and genuinely thankful for all of the experiences and meals and new people she will meet. I am so thankful for her. I am not so sure about the next few months myself-- I love adventure, but I also like to just have plenty of peace and space and less stimulation than the average person. Seeing her take it all in stride will surely be helpful.

2011-01-14T03:14:00.000-08:00

Some Christmas Photos...

I already basically described what our Christmas was like here, but I wanted to add some photos for family and friends.
And I mostly wanted to be able to share this one:

Yes, this is my charming husband, showing off multiple gifts all at once, including beer socks and Portland underoos from his family!

As usual, Amelia totally hit the jackpot. This year, however, we actually contributed to the jackpot in a big way. I don't know how we didn't get a picture of it, but we bought her a wooden play kitchen. And some cooking items, and her grandparents contributed greatly to this theme with dishes and toy foods. AND a work outfit!

This cute little scarf is from family in Michigan-- it looks super cute on her!

I know it's a little late, but Merry Christmas!

2010-11-22T01:10:00.000-08:00

Family Updates and a Walk in the Woods

So... I don't think I've done this in ages!
Right now life feels kind of like our trip to Nuremburg did: so much to enjoy before us, but all of these other basic, logistical, important things getting in the way.

Jeff-- Well, the topic of the day is always his job. Things have been really rough from the beginning, since he found himself in the middle of some crazy office politics. There is some question as to whether or not he will keep his job, and he is having to do tons of extra work to prove himself. It's a huge downer, and takes away from all of us. He's working on stress management techniques, and we are both trying to think "outside the box" in terms of options if he loses his job. There are a lot of international and American schools in Europe, and he is very skilled in his work. So, we're oddly in the same place we've been several times in the last four years! It's been hard to have Jeff gone for so much of the day. We were spoiled before with his job, since he was home around 4 p.m. and got a lot of time off throughout the year. We're adjusting.

Because he spends so much time at work, he hasn't been able to practice German as much as he'd like, and hasn't made many acquaintances here in Amberg. Fortunately, he's had a couple of days off for holidays recently, and we have used those for some day trips. He has this Thursday off, and we don't have any Thanksgiving plans made. We're still trying to decide what we'll do-- a trip to Pilsen? He is getting in touch with a contact that may be able to connect him to a symphony here where he can play his violin. That sounds like the perfect social "in" to me!

Amelia-- She is growing up. We played Uno with her a few times this week. I guess I could have introduced it sooner, because she totally "gets" it and figured out what was going on right away. We have been having family game nights, and it's a really cool milestone. I'm crossing my fingers that she will be a word person like me, and I will have a life-long Boggle and Scrabble partner. We'll see.

Something that has been really fun is hearing her play by herself in German. I know that a lot of it is made up words that sounds about right, but she is speaking a lot of actual Deutsch as well! It's a little strange to see her as a German child, but I do, because she has the pronunciation and body language down perfectly.

She is liking her kindergarten, and gradually learning to enjoy playing with other children. I like that there is a range of ages in her class, just like at her old preschool. She can help the younger ones, but also gets help from older children herself. Amberg is such a small town that we frequently run into families from her school. She is so friendly, and attracts plenty of warm attention. It's such a nice feeling to have some kind of connection to other people, and to start to feel like familiar faces. There are a few moms there that speak English, so it has been nice to connect with them as well.

We are having some real challenges, too. Amelia is entitled to a ton of grace, especially since she has just left her entire world as she knows it, is in a new place, learning a new language, without the familiar people around to love her and devote special attention to her. It's a huge adjustment, especially for someone who is so people-oriented. She did a stellar job with flight over here and all of that stuff, but once the dust settled, she pulled out all sorts of difficult behaviors. Part of it is just being a four year old, I know! Regardless of all of the reasons, parenting has been extremely challenging, made compounded by the fact that we spend so much less time with other people than we used to, so I am often in the position of trying to meet her social needs. Part of it is being an only child, and not understanding the distinction between being a child and being an adult. If Jeff and I can do/ eat/ watch/ etc. something, then she should be able to also, right? She has a point of view on just about every verbal exchange Jeff and I have, and we often have to tell her that we're having a private conversation, that she can listen if she wants, but it's not for her. I imagine that it all feels very discriminatory! She loves to try to tell people what to do and micro-manage everything that's going on. This would be irritating for anyone, but as someone who is always trying to curb this tendency in myself, it is awful to see it coming on so strong in a little child! There's more, so much more, but I realize that it is just as much my own shortcomings being mirrored through her. Sometimes I feel like she's more of a little sister, and Jeff is known to ask me, only half-joking, "Do I need to separate you two?" I have heard people talking about having to grow up once they had kids, but I have never felt it so much as now!

On an extremely positive note, Amelia is sleeping like crazy! She sleeps 10-12 hours each night, and takes a hearty nap on most days. This is amazing. Such a mercy.

Me-- I have also been sleeping well, for the first time in ages. For the first couple of months after we arrived, I had almost constant headaches, and slept terribly. Headaches still happen, but not daily. I attribute these life-changing improvements to dietary alterations and the happiness that a new setting has brought. And some amazing light-blocking shades that were already in our bedroom. My body is also becoming lighter, which feels good! Other than that, I feel busy. It's been an adjustment, trying to figure out the balance between school, home duties and rest. Boundaries are a little harder when your classes are on the computer, and you can "go to school" just about any time of the day. Sometimes I haven't been able to get all of my assignments done before the weekend, and then that cuts into family time. So, I am trying to rein that all in a bit. I have been trying to take Mondays off, as a day that I can just clean up after the weekend and enjoy a quiet home without having to do school work. I am getting close to finishing my first quarter, and that feels really good!

Something that I have been meaning/ wanting to do is take the train to one of our bigger cities closeby. I haven't been anywhere outside of our city walls by myself yet. Every trip to the grocery store is with all three of us, since I don't drive here. It's OK, but I really long for some time in a new place by myself. Train fare is a little expensive, so I'd like to try to go somewhere once a month.

I have been enjoying blogging, and connecting with other people a little through that. I had no idea that there was such a huge expat blogging community. I should have known, of course, but never thought about it much. I would love to find a way to make a little money doing some writing/ picture taking, but I am not sure how yet. There are a lot of resources out there for people (women especially) who travel/ live abroad to write articles and do a little journalism and make some money. We'll see-- I don't want to add much to the work that I am already doing, but I would be taking pictures and writing about our experiences anyway, so it would be fun to get even more out of it.

My German studies are not coming along nearly as well as I would have thought. I spend most of my time at home, and haven't felt like doing the audio lessons-- talking is taxing for me, and there is nothing better than a silent house! I learn from osmosis and deductive reasoning, so there are lots of things that I have figured out, and I can understand quite a bit. But when it comes to speaking, the range is very limited. My language partner has a paralyzed vocal chord right now, plus she keeps wanting to get together with our kids, which severely limits actual conversation! But I don't have any time lines, so I will do my best and know that I'll get it eventually.

What else?... We have had a lot of fun this month getting back into nesting mode. We are talking about paint colors, hanging things on the walls, etc. Even though our future here is a little uncertain, I was living in limbo for over a year before we moved, and I just can't keep it up. We still don't own much. It feels strange, though, to buy things, since I went for a few months before of looking at every little thing we owned, wondering what I would do with it, how I would get rid of it! Now I feel a little panicky bringing stuff home, but it feels really good to start settling in. If we move, we'll move our things with us.

So, life isn't exactly as dreamy as I would have hoped for now. But in the meantime it is very interesting, and we are doing our best to enjoy it all, while keeping an ear to the ground for what could be next.

2010-11-07T06:27:00.000-08:00

Amelia.

I missed doing the big post about Amelia that I had wanted to for her birthday... I started it, but then things were so chaotic that I never finished. Since then, honestly, things have been so challenging with her that I didn't feel like I was in a good place to sit down and talk about her here! But I wanted to share the part that I did write a few months ago.

As most of you know by now, Amelia is ALL about people! She has an almost magical way about her of drawing people out. Wherever we go, people notice and remember her. She seems to garner special treatment from everyone, which is something we're trying to keep in check-- we're afraid her worldview is already a bit skewed because of it.

A month or so ago, we went on our first family vacation to the coast. One morning, we were hanging out at a coffee shop there, and Amelia was doing a nice job of staying occupied, climbing on and off of her bench, looking out the windows, etc. She was staying close to us, but I could tell it was quite a discipline. Finally, I said, "Amelia, would you like to go meet some people?" She looked at me, beaming, "CAN I?!" And she was off, to the other side of the room, filled with grownups. She literally kept them captivated (and busy) for a full hour. She introduced herself, met everyone in the room, got a tour of the back of the shop. One lady went out to her car and brought her dog in for Amelia to meet. A funny moment was when Amelia saw a lady in the back of the shop, wearing a bright orange puffy vest and asked her "Are you doing some 'instruction' work back there?"

I loved this moment, because it really shows Amelia's strengths. She is super aware and considerate of other people. A few weeks ago, a new friend of mine shared that she has allergies, too. Then this week we were walking together to ballet class, and she turned to her and said, "So, Maya, how are you doing with your allergies?" Most kids her age never really think of other people and ask them questions about themselves. I am so thankful that she is generally cheerful, and draws people out. I am trying to learn from her about not being afraid of being noticed, and just engaging anyone who smiles at me!

2010-10-28T08:19:00.000-07:00

Meine Kleine Ballerina

I had fun taking pictures of Amelia at her ballet class this afternoon. Seriously, it was more like a pink and purple circus than actual dance class. Hilarious! Adorable!

2010-10-18T07:44:00.000-07:00

Well, the lull is over.

I had all of these blogging ideas and plans, but I am just BUSY. I can't say I'm thrilled about it, either. I am in that adjustment period between a few weeks of relaxing and catching my breath after a whirlwind, and learning to keep a tight pace of juggling multiple workloads. I started school, and it has been very stimulating but also demanding. I am so out of practice. I turned in two papers this weekend, and it took me forever. It's usually my goal to be done with all of my coursework by Wednesday or Thursday, but then there is all of this other LIFE stuff that gets in the way of my career as a student. Like ballet classes, after-school picnics, social events, violent reactions to a new fish oil supplement, sick kid, dinner, almost-daily shopping, and oh! The Cleaning. It's strange-- my life pace is decidedly slow, but my workload is actually quite heavy. Our apartment is huge, which means there is lots of cleaning to do. This wasn't really an issue until I started making friends and inviting people over. If I could have just put that part off... But no, I just had to be so congenial. Just kidding! I have been pleasantly surprised that a number of people have initiated friendships with me! Amelia has already gone over to another little girl's house to play, and we have been going to gymnastics once a week. I have a language partner, and we have been getting together for a couple of hours each week. It's been really fun getting to know her, we both have one daughter and are hoping they can learn to entertain each other. Jeff's work has been very stressful. Politics. He was going to be gone again all week for some trainings, and I was so relieved when the plans changed at the last minute. Phew! I hope to put some fun stuff and pictures soon, but if that doesn't happen right away, you'll know why...

2010-10-10T03:21:00.000-07:00

And here we are.

I just wanted to let you know that I am changing things a little here. I want to have a space to talk about family updates and such, without much public exposure. I have always had this blog for that purpose (otherwise I never would have given it such a ridiculous address 5+ years ago.) But I'd also like to write about our adventures living overseas, where I'm comfortable with anyone and everyone reading and looking in on us, and I can use it to network with others a bit. So I started a new blog for that sort of fun stuff. Yep, one more blog to keep track of (sorry!)

2010-10-09T13:20:00.000-07:00

When you don't make any plans on a gorgeous day...

... you might as well just get everyone dressed and out the door.
We planned to wander around a little and just see what happened.
First, there was music!

Baby squashes and tiny flowering plants.

Then we really got things going when we decided to walk the path around the wall of the city. The weather was incredible, and Autumn is in full blast here.

While I was getting completely caught up in all the foliage and colors, Jeff and Amelia decided this was just the right moment to take care of the "ants in their pants."

Then we started something we just couldn't stop... taking pictures of ourselves and each other!

We took our time just loving all of the views and beautiful architecture around us.

And found the perfect architectural accent for posing little girls on.

And then Jeff got in on the action.

And inevitably, things really started getting silly!

Jeff made sure I got in on the photo fun too.

Then it was back to walking and looking and loving it all.

Amelia was more than willing to do a little more posing...But once we crossed the bridge and went back through the wall, we were more than ready for lunch.

Which, unfortunately, took multiple attempts at different restaurants. Luckily, we still had our camera.

And, three hours after we left our home to "wander around a little," we ended up eating bratwurst and kraut right under the clock tower.

Time very well spent.
Happy Weekend!

2010-10-02T07:13:00.000-07:00

To Flohmarkt, To Flohmarkt...

To buy a fat...

Wild boar's head!

There were so many cool and fascinating objects at the flea market today... Here are just a few photos of our trip.

The one thing on our actual shopping list: a moka pot!

Aw, it's a pile of little leather shorts!

Makes me wish I had a boy. Not to worry-- look at this little vintage coat from the Netherlands!!

(Yes, it was very cold and rainy.)

Can you guess where I'm headed?...

Of course! Unfortunately, it was much to0 big to fit in our car.

Lots of fun today! We came home with quite a few items, which I'll show you soon!

2010-09-24T02:13:00.000-07:00

A-Marketing We Go...

I decided to bring my camera along with me this morning to the open market. I am definitely living out my ideal grocery shopping scenario. We have a tiny fridge-- think of a big dorm-sized one-- so I can't keep many perishables on hand. We have one rack in the pantry where I keep coconut milk, nuts, etc., but otherwise all of our food is either on the counter or in the fridge-- which means I need to keep buying small amounts almost every day.

All week long, there are green grocers with their tents set up in the city square. These items are bought from a big market in Nuremburg in the wee hours of the morning, and many of these are imported from other countries. These stalls are convenient, but I try to wait for the actual farmers to come on Wednesday, Friday and Saturday.

The daily vendors. They are becoming familiar with me, and today one of them taught me the word for "basket," very patiently writing it down when it was clear that I was not quite getting the pronunciation.

My first shopping day is Wednesday, when I go to buy produce, wild vension, and whatever seasonal items show up in various booths-- this week it was mixed wild mushrooms and wild cranberries. There is a spice vendor there as well as a Turkish man with all sorts of olives, cheeses, hummus, etc.

Fridays are the biggest market day. There are lots of meat vendors, along with breads booths, fish mongers, and farmers. This probably doesn't look too appetizing to you, but this marinated turkey is wunderbar.

Bread cart. I love the old-timey look!

My favorite is the rotisserie truck! You can buy whole roasted hens and geese. I do plan on picking up a goose one of these days, but I usually buy two small chickens-- one to pick apart with Amelia for lunch (she gets out of school early on Fridays,) and the other to use the meat and bones for chicken stock and soups during the week. I tend to be kind of shy with the camera, but asking this man if I could take his pictures warmed him right up, and in turn, he asked me some questions about living here. I love making relationships with the vendors, it makes the whole process of shopping so enjoyable!

Roast Geese.

Why so nervous?

There is also the Herb Lady, who makes beautiful wreaths and little woodsy decorations.

She speaks English pretty well and makes really good pestos and chutneys, and goes to great trouble to explain things to me. She told me today that there will be a festival coming up that the churches celebrate, kind of like Thanksgiving, in honor of the harvest. This explains one of the fancier displays today.

And maybe the presence of a basket weaver...

...And a clog maker...?

It's really nice to see everyone out and about, enjoying the beautiful Fall weather. There was a large group of people from a nearby elderly home.

And look who I ran into! It's Ingrid!

(She tells me she'll be at the upcoming flohmarkt, so stay tuned for that shopping fun!)

This is what I came home with today, minus the meats.

Anyway, I'd say Friday is my biggest shopping day. Many of the farmers return on Saturday as well, so it's nice to walk around and look as a family, but not needing to do much actual purchasing. Every other week or so, I go to a big grocery store to buy some dry goods and such. Then most days, I realize that I am missing one or two items and I go to a little grocery about four stores away on our street. There are little shops nearby that are a mix between a deli and a butcher shop, called a Metzgerei, where I buy meat if I need some for dinner that night. All in all, I get by without really going to a real grocery store for a long time! Food goes through our kitchen quickly, but it is very easy to restock. And I must mention that our food budget is about the same here as it was in Portland!

In light of all of the food allergies I have had to juggle for Jeff and Amelia, and some nagging health issues, our family is transitioning to a grain-free lifestyle. I took a picture today to turn in to a contest on a website that has been fun and inspiring for me, detailing what our family eats in a typical week (delicious-looking child not included.)

Not pictured, but written in: 1 Kilo Fresh Turkey, 1 Kilo Wild Venison, 2 Rotisserie Chickens, and 4 Dozen Pastured Eggs.

Although it could be difficult to make such a big switch, the setup here is so ideal, it has actually simplified my life quite a bit. We basically eat meat, eggs, vegetables, fruit, nuts, seeds and butter. And I enjoy some other dairy. We are all pretty happy with this, and of course feeling good too! I love doing all of the marketing, and look forward to my shopping days very much.

Thanks for coming along with me today!

2010-09-22T01:09:00.000-07:00

Here's an old post. It makes me even more glad to be done with that phase of the transition! I wish I could go back in time and tell myself that it would indeed get much, much better!
************
July 26^th

We are finally in our apartment! We had a grueling day on Saturday trying to make it happen, and of course I can't pass up the opportunity to tell you how it went.

We rented a car for the day, and Jeff had to take the bus to go pick it up. It was pouring rain, and as a personal favor to me, he had taken Amelia and her car seat with him. They were soaked by the time they got to the rental place. He drove right away over to the mattress store to pick up the the mattresses we had paid for the day before, but they were closed. They sat in the car for ½ and hour, and finally got the mattresses. Here they make them so that you can roll them up and stuff them into a compact car. We got two twins for us rather than a queen-- it's the European Way. They all barely fit into the car, and Jeff drove them to our apartment. It got real real complicated, with this being his first day driving here, and us living on a pedestrian street, an unfortunate foray onto a one-way street, and mattresses blocking the view. Fortunately, a new German friend was on call and crammed himself into the car with the three mattresses, Jeff and Amelia. He helped him get some parking and then haul them up the 35 stairs up to our apartment. Whew!

It was 11 a.m. When Jeff picked me up, and he was already sweating bullets. Luckily, I had been enjoying the rare solitude while cleaning and packing up our hotel room, so at least one of us wasn't strung out when we hit the autobahn. And it was good I started out cool, because I am a very, very untrusting passenger. I like driving, in part because I don't ever think other drivers are paying nearly as much attention as I am. So it was a trust exercise-- which Jeff and I both passed with flying colors as we sped over to Nuremberg.

We got to IKEA pretty quickly, with a vague idea of what we needed and a clear sense of the little cash we had on hand and plenty of resolve to push our way through the crowds. To my delight, Amelia really wanted to go into “Smalland,” even though I explained to her that we couldn't go with her and there would be tons of children inside. She was so excited, and Jeff and I couldn't believe our good fortune, shopping on our own! This good feeling lasted until about 20 minutes later, when the pager we had been given went off. For some reason, Jeff felt sure that something terrible had happened, and went running through the store to get to his probably-bleeding-or-in-hysterics-daughter. When he finally got through the mobs of people and furniture, he found her just watching a movie, bored with all of the options in “Smalland.” Poor guy. Needless to say, shopping got MUCH more complicated after that. We got the bare minimum that we felt like would make us feel at home, and that we could fit into our VW Golf. On our way to checking out, I realized that the set of dressers and armoires that I really loved but couldn't afford were on sale, at least 50% off! I snagged a lowboy dresser, and we made our purchases. To my surprise, we had only spent half of the money allotted for this trip! We packed all of the items into our car, and they barely fit. But I still wanted those armoires... So we decided we would have them delivered. Somehow, this decision ended up landing us in various lines for over two hours! All told, we spent six life-sucking hours at that store, but it had to be done, and we were just glad it was over when we left.

Our original plan for the day had been to go to IKEA, check out Nuremberg and see if there were any other home stores there to look at, maybe get a meal, who knows? We left IKEA at 6:30 and had a 45 minute drive ahead of us. So, we decided we'd drop things off, go to the grocery store (we still hadn't been to one, since we didn't have a car and the bigger ones weren't walkable with a little one) and go out for dinner. Having Amelia wet her pants at IKEA while in the shopping cart waiting in line made this a lot more complicated. Once we got to Amberg, we decided to go shopping first, and cram the groceries into our stuffed rental car. It took a long time to find the store we wanted, even though we were right there all along-- it was just a shop the people we asked directions from weren't familiar with! We did our quick shopping of a few basic items, and went to pay. There was a line behind us, and I couldn't find the bigger bill I'd been counting on! We'd spent all of our cash at IKEA except the amount I was planning to use for shopping! This is, in my book, the worst social situation ever. Somehow, I have always had this fear of not having enough money on hand in front of other people. Anyhow, I have now faced that fear. I had to quickly pick out the items that seemed less vital till we came to a total we could afford. Lame.

I know this is getting long, but bear with me. It gets worse. We were starving for dinner and it was 8:00. We wanted to go out to eat, but needed to take care of Amelia's very stinky clothing situation. After the unloading process (remember, 35 stairs!) I decided I'd give Amelia a bath while Jeff went to pick up our suitcases from the hotel-- we didn't have any clothes at the apartment yet. So Amelia bathed, and we waited and waited. She just hung out in a sheet (we still don't have towels) until Jeff finally got back with our luggage. But he had forgotten her suitcase!! At this point it was getting too late to even consider going out to eat. I fed the nude little Amelia some odds and ends while Jeff went back for her things. But... He had locked the car into the parking garage, and couldn't get back in, so he had to walk to the hotel and back. We finally got her into her Pjs and in bed, but... Her “blankey,” sippy cup and pet zebra, all of which are bedtime essentials, were locked in the car, locked in the parking garage. And this was her first night in her new room-- there was MUCH wailing. Jeff and I ate some salad on our stairs, and I went in to lay down with her while Jeff just stood around outside the parking garage waiting for the door to open.

In the end Jeff got in, we got the essentials, and slept here. But it was definitely not what I had envisioned!! We still don't have fitted sheets, towels or anywhere to hang our clothes. We have no shelves or chairs, but our dining table is in a flat box waiting to be assembled. The armoires will be delivered tomorrow. Yesterday (Sunday) went better, and we went with some local new friends to a “kinderfest” in town. It was a much better day. We'll take our time with all of the rest of the stuff, it's good to finally be in our own space! And this, my friends, is the reality of following a romantic notion of leaving all of your things behind and moving to Europe! And I'm afraid we'd do it all over again, given the opportunity.

2010-09-14T02:12:00.000-07:00

In the in-betweens...

So there are plenty of big events, like going to Munich, starting school, flohmarkt-shopping, etc. But what about all of the spaces in between? Amelia is at school for much of the day, Jeff is gone before I wake up and back around dinner. I have zero social engagements, and ride in a car twice a week, tops (and it's usually a five minute drive to the grocery store,) and some weeks not at all.
So, what am I doing during all of that time when I'm not parenting, going to work or riding in a car?

Well, I would be sitting on a couch, if we had one. The only sitting places here are at our dining table or on our bed (mattress on the floor.) But my favorite spot to hang out and read (currently it's Molecules of Emotion by Candice Pert,) journal or "compute" is on one of our broad window sills.
Here I am right now. The view is great, and I get to be a nosy neighbor. I also get a little sunlight into my system, even if it's overcast, which it often is. My behind gets sore, but it's worth it. Also, down that street is a little cafe that roasts their own coffee. It's really sweet and cozy, and has coffee even Portland would be proud of. (The other places here, not so much.) The tables outside offer lap blankets on nippy days-- how adorable is that?! There is a little courtyard with a fountain and little bronze pig statues, with big chestnut trees overhead. I also like to take Amelia there so she can "bathe" and "feed" the piggies.
So, lots of downtime. I am sorely in need of that, after two months of being on my own with Amelia all the time, trying to get all sorts of things done. My life right now is an introvert's paradise-- no one else home most of the day, no friends, no work, no social obligations. I do like people, though, and so it is even more wonderful that I can talk to friends and family on our Vonage phone. I intend to make friends and somehow get involved in something here in Amberg. But in the meantime I am trying to recharge my severely drained batteries.

I would like to just stop and say that I love my life here. I don't think we stop and recognize that which is making us happy often enough. And there seems to be an unhealthy rule in many circles that you don't share your joys, for fear of making someone else feel bad for not having the same experiences in life. But we should tell each other-- happiness is worth expressing! Let me just take a moment and tell you:

I love walking Amelia to and from school.
I love having a great little cup of coffee and sitting for as long as I want to at the local cafe.
I love shopping at the open market, even if it can be difficult to communicate sometimes.
I love just looking out all of my windows-- it's so dreamy!
I love my daily schedule.
I love our big, empty apartment-- it is just beautiful.
I love not spending time in cars, and that I haven't driven for months.
I love walking everywhere, and biking is awesome too.
I love being alone.
I love all of the fresh, high quality food I can buy here-- wild venison was my favorite find this week.
I love that it's turning to fall-- I don't know what winter will be like, but I always have this giddy energy that comes with the nip in the air and the golden light. They call it "Herbst" here, which sounds so woodsy.
I love starting over with new people in a new place-- I am only the person I am today-- not the one I was years ago, and no one has ever heard of me before. That is liberating for me, coming from a big, well-known family.
I love that every view from any angle in my new life is a great one.

I walk around smiling all of the time. How could I not? This is kind of a sweet time for me, after the very arduous move and time of adjustment... We still have plenty to do in terms of settling in. We're saving our money for a couch and some other furniture. We'd like to paint. I want to go to Paris pretty badly. But I am reasonably settled and don't have a sense of urgency for anything. I've made it! Now it gets better! Also, in a week or so I start school. I will be attending PSU online as a full-time student. I have no idea what this looks like, in terms of daily time commitment. But I'm looking forward to it, and hopeful that I may even finish my degree within a year! And I am looking for a German language class to sign up for here in Amberg. I will inevitably be much busier than I am now, so I am trying to just relish the open slots of time I have at the moment. Sure, I spend time cooking and cleaning a lot, but I can do it at an enjoyable pace, not crammed into the cracks in a busy, loaded schedule.
I am thankful.

2010-09-09T04:05:00.001-07:00

Home Snippets

I really do want to take you on a complete tour of our home, I promise, but it's kind of a wreck. You wouldn't enjoy it. There is no furniture, our living room is just our recycling center with piles of cardboard and bubble wrap. But we do have some cute corners and consistently-tidy areas. I'll show you some of those, so you get the general feeling without all of the riffraff.

I always start with the kitchen when I move somewhere, so this one is more doable. As I wandered around the house just now, with my toothbrush in my mouth (don't know why inspiration seems to strike mid-brush!) and camera in hand, I chose to spare you the unwiped counters and the open dishwasher. There were a couple of angles, however that were eager to be shown off.

We have a ton of counter space! It is so nice, and makes cooking much easier, being able to spread out a little.
By the way, those brown apothecary jars and the glass cloche are from Ingrid.

Next was my favorite corner in Amelia's room. I thought about this nook long before we moved here-- a cozy little spot for her to sit and read. Of course, I was in complete denial about the fact that Amelia would never actually choose to be in a room alone. Maybe this corner was really for me. I should have made it in my room...

And let's get real for a moment here, folks: will her room really ever be much more photographable than this? I don't clean her room for her any more. Her bed will be made by her after her nap, but it never really looks great. She's a kid! It's pure vanity for me to want it to look pretty for my friends.A real bed would sure help, though! By the way, I am thinking of getting this wallpaper to put in the alcoves in here, and painting the inside edges a pretty light pink.

Our bathroom is HUGE. Huge! There is so much open floorspace that we could seriously put a queen sized mattress on the floor in there for guests. (Any takers?) The bathtub is awesome, and Jeff tells me the shower is just fine.
The door goes into the laundry room, and then goes into our bedroom.
Our bedroom holds some of the only furniture in our house, we were that determined to "do it up big" after sleeping in a tiny attic space where we couldn't even fit a box spring, let alone sit up in bed. Of course, our bed is now covered in laundry (that's what happens when you have the laundry room a few feet away!) but you can see our furniture and cool light.

This, in my opinion, is some of the only IKEA furniture that doesn't look like "IKEA furniture." and they discontinued it. This is sad, but it also meant that it was less than half-price!

There's another armoire on the right, but, toothbrush in mouth and camera in hand, I didn't feel like tidying up that area.I love it. It casts the perfect shadows at night, too.

So, now you've seen at least a bit. There will be more.

2010-09-08T05:38:00.000-07:00

This weekend I died and went to Flea Market Heaven.

I am lucky enough to have already made a friend here. She is an older woman named Indgrid, and we got connected with her during the first week we arrived in Amberg. There was a woman staying in our hotel who spoke English, and through Amelia's charms we quickly befriended her. It was great to have someone to ask relevant questions, like "Are there thrift stores here? Where can we buy cheap stuff?!" Although most of the facts about 2nd hand wares were discouraging, she was still able to help us out. She called Ingrid, who was downsizing and moving to a tiny studio apartment. She gave me Indgrid's number, and we went over there and bought a lot of her stuff! It was such a huge blessing, because I was able to get cookware, houseplants, platters and vases and that sort of thing from her-- it saved me SO much money and work! She has been really kind and helpful to us-- she spends the cold part of the year in Australia, so her English is excellent and she knows what it's like to be a foreigner. I have been able to call her and ask her cultural questions, and she has given me lots of helpful advice on where to find various items, when it's OK to haggle, etc. She called to tell me that the very best flea market in the area was in a town called Neumarkt, and it was being held this past Saturday. She assured us that there would be plenty of antiques, unlike the "flohmarkt" here which was mostly people selling their junk on card tables, like a neighborhood yard sale (although that was not so bad-- we came home with a drill-- it wasn't what we'd hoped for.)

We are still lacking SO many household goods-- even as people who like to live minimally. So we ventured out, and were very well rewarded. The size of this market was surprisingly big, and the stuff was all amazing. I just walked around, smiling-- it was all so beautiful, unique, interesting and cool! We didn't even get to see everything, there was so much! I swear I could have taken one of everything there, but I was very happy with what I walked away with. Five euros seemed to be the magic price of the day, and it certainly helped that we were there right before everyone was packing up, and eager to unload a few more items. Here are all of my Five Euro Finds:

Isn't this the coolest little tea kettle?

I had been hoping to find something like this, and I had seen some on various websites, but of course for much much more.

This is solid iron and super heavy. It's hard to see the size from the picture, but it's big-- about a foot wide.

I could have seriously gone crazy with all of the beautiful table linens-- embroidered, striped, etc., and all pure linen. This one was a good bargain, and just the right size for our tiny dining table.

No matter how many fancy ways I've tried preparing coffee, nothing beats a cone drip. I love the ceramic ones, and although it's hard to find them in stores here, there were plenty of vintage ones there. Now to find a matching Melitta coffee pitcher...

A little enamel bowl. So practical, so irresistible.

A couple other things were definitely worth a little more, but were still very good deals:

An antique Swiss military first aid box! This will be perfect for vitamins...

And, my favorite, a vintage educational poster on brassicas. Our walls need to be painted really badly, and this is not only wonderful to look at, but covers a very awful-looking wall in our kitchen.

Driving away with all of our new things, I felt so lucky! I really felt like was taking advantage of living in Europe, and although everything else seems to be much more expensive here, I had finally hit the jackpot. This market is held once a month, and I think Jeff and I will try to be there every time.

2010-09-07T00:11:00.000-07:00

Let's Get Down to It.

Yes, I am rather backlogged on things I want to share with you. First, we'll talk about Munich.
Three weekends ago, we planned a rather last-minute trip to Munich. We found a European version of Hotwire and locked in a great price on a "top secret" hotel near the English Garden. It turned out to be a gigantic Hilton, in a truly amazing location. Our hotel room, while not anything special, looked out onto a river on the edge of a forested area surrounding the garden.

The weather was sweltering-hot. I had no idea it would be the last warm weekend here in Bavaria-- I might have enjoyed it a little more in that case! But the cement and stone of the city just made the heat and the sunlight really intense. It was a three hour drive because of terrible traffic, and our car doesn't have any A/C. The evening that we arrived, we a took a bus to a nearby shopping district and mostly walked around, and did some clothes shopping for Jeff. I also found my very own dirndl at a quirky little shop there. (As a side note, people really wear dirndls and lederhosen here! I couldn't believe it. Sure, there are the older gentlemen in the full ensemble, including feathered hat-- but also young guys chilling at a coffee shop in their lederhosen! And whenever there is a festival, women are seen everywhere in their cute dirndls, and it's a common restaurant server uniform as well.) We had some wonderful Greek food for dinner, and called it a day.

The next morning, we set out to really "see" Munich. Unfortunately, it was Sunday and most everything was closed. But cafes and restaurants were open, and plus you don't have to go through any doors to see all of the incredible Gothic architecture of the city. We wandered around for a very long time and finally came to the Marienplatz, where we found some breakfast. The sun was so hot and bright, that we tried to stay in the shade us much as possible. The place was just crawling with tourists, and we were right next to the city hall with a famous Glockenspiel that people were crowding into the square to see every hour. We mostly walked around for the morning, then were looking for some refuge from the sun.

The English Garden was the perfect shady escape. It's not so much a garden as I would think of one, but a really big, beautiful green space. It was actually kind of like a nature amusement park. It is one of the worlds largest public parks, even bigger than Central Park. It was fairly crowded, and there were various attractions-- the Chinese pagoda, a lakeside restaurant, meadowy sunbathing spaces, etc. Also, lots of live music, of the oom-pah-pah variety. It was really nice! One highlight was a rickshaw ride from one end to the other. I didn't get many good pictures, but you'll just have to trust me that it was like a movie set akin to the "Jolly Holiday" scene in Mary Poppins.

Crammed into the rickshaw!
One of several stream that help keep the whole place cool-- we had fun taking our shoes off and wading in it.

After the long, hot drive going to Munich, we decided it would be best to hit the road early in the afternoon. Fortunately, we made great time getting to Amberg, and having the full evening ahead of us here made us feel more refreshed after a fun weekend. Although I don't have any more plans to travel for now, it was so much fun to get out and be a tourist for a couple of days, not needing to worry about anything but having a good time as a family-- such a welcome relief after all of the packing, moving, unpacking, adjusting, etc! We really look forward to going back again, and can't believe it's such a reasonable drive for us.

2010-09-06T23:48:00.000-07:00

It's the "First Day of School" Post.

Somebody is very excited.

Ever since we arrived, we've all sort of been waiting for that magical moment when Amelia would start going to school. She does so well with lots of variety in her days, and plenty of social interaction. I do so well with solitude and less excitement. It was a very long wait. But now we have entered that wonderful season of morning routines, busy days for Amelia and quiet, productive times for me. She is SO excited about her school!

This is our "front door" to our apartment, although it's shared by several others.

She has come home very happy every day. It's hard to figure out what exactly goes on over there, since she has always been very tight-lipped about the events of her school day. But there is lots of snacking on fresh fruits and vegetables. They serve herbal tea, very diluted juice, and water. Eating and drinking have always been the main-events of Amelia's days. There is a little dining room where she eats lunch, that looks like a kids' restaurant. No one speaks English well there, but she comes home each day with a few new German words.

I love crossing the bridge each morning.
Here, she is getting really tired of me snapping pictures, and just wants to get there already. I'm glad she humored me anyway.

The walk to school each morning is really wonderful. It is at the same time as one of the church's bells toll for morning mass, and we pass by the big beautiful doors as all the elderly ladies line up outside and coo at Amelia passing by.

I love the above picture. Amelia's in school six hours a day now, and it seems like such a big change. Even though the kindergarten is very play-based, it seems like she's really started her school career.

Her adorable classroom. I think she spends most of her time in this play kitchen.

Exciting times for all of us!

2010-09-05T10:26:00.000-07:00

Sassy Pants...

Amelia was in fine form tonight at dinner. Here are a couple of snippets.

"Some moms don't really make very good food for their kids. But Mama, you are doing very well with your cooking."

Amelia: Papa, tomorrow YOU get to take me to school!
Jeff: I'm excited-- I've haven't been there before.
Amelia: Yes, and I will even show you the bathroom.
Jeff: Could you show me the snack room?
Amelia: Sure! But you can't eat in there. The food is just for the kids.
Jeff: But what if I'm hungry?!
Amelia: (Firmly) Well, then you can eat your saliva.

Also, I think we need to watch the way we talk to her, because when she talks to us, everything comes out as super condescending.

2010-08-19T13:42:00.000-07:00

Between Then and Now....

It's been a few weeks since I wrote a real update, and it really feels like months. So much has happened! I will list here some occurrences of note, so I feel like I've caught you up.

- We moved into our apartment! I have a whole blog post about that day waiting, actually. It's on our other computer (a macbook air, which doesn't have the right ports to connect it to our DSL cable) and I can't get on the internet on that one to email it to myself!

- We bought a car! It is a little navy blue VW Polo wagon. It's old, but rather young in miles. Make that kilometers. I haven't driven it-- I don't have a license!

- We found a babysitter when I was about pull my hair out, and she came a few times and quit. On the upside, Amelia realized that I'm actually a pretty nice adult! For example, one time she was having a meltdown and I was like, "Hey, it's OK to cry sometimes. It really helps you feel better." And then the lady from Poland was all, "Ehmeelia! Why you cry?! You BEEEG girl now!"

- We visited Amelia's future kindergarten, and that went really well. She seemed to feel right at home there, in spite of the fact that there were a bunch of [shudder] children there, and didn't want to leave. It was very bright and cheerful, with lots of things to do. They had the cutest little locker room and also what they call their "bistro" where the kids eat their meals. Her teacher is really sweet and her parents actually own a local health food shop that specializes in gluten free foods! We are all super excited for school to start in a a couple of weeks.

- I have done a lot of cleaning. To my serious dismay, the previous tenants left the place absolutely filthy. It's really bad. As much as I have cleaned, it is still very dirty. It's gross. I've decided that I am officially making cleaning my hobby, so it doesn't feel so unreasonable to spend all of my free time doing it. Ick.

- I can now get around in stores, cafes and restaurants in only German. Although all I ever wanted to do was blend in, there is just absolutely no way that is happening when I have congenial little Amelia with me. Something that has been weird here is that everyone speaks in hushed tones all of the time. Amelia's vocal volume is permanently set on "bellow." It's embarrassing for me, but I can only assume that there is some sort of issue about feeling conspicuous that I am supposed to be working out here. We'll see. There is nothing like not wanting to be noticed as a newcomer to motivate you to learn a foreign language!

- Jeff turned 33 today. It's a fun year to share life with him! We are planning on driving to Munich this weekend. We'll spend one night there. Although I feel like I've done enough traveling for now, it will be able to leave the "settling in" feelings and duties behind for a day or so to just enjoy Germany.

I'll leave you with some pictures from dinner tonight.

Here's the man of the hour! It may be Jeff's birthday, but I'm the one who's finally starting to look their age...

Our entertainment!

The "Biergarten" courtyard we ate at tonight.

2010-08-10T06:20:00.001-07:00

Real Housekeeping

--Kitchen Floors--
Step 1. Thoroughly sweep tiled kitchen floor. Twice.
Step 2. Spray floor with light layer of cleaning spray.
Step 3. Apparently inflict cruel and unusual punishment on your four year old by asking her to "go around, not through" the kitchen for the next half hour.
Step 4. Fill bucket with hot water, and mop the floor. Realize that you used way too much soap and that you will have to rinse again and again.
Step 5. Rinse again and again.
Step 6. Walk out of the room backwards, erasing your steps with the mop, and wait....
Step 7. Tip toe back in on damp floors to make lunch for your "Super, SUPER huuuuungryyy" little girl.
Step 8. Underestimate your own strength while opening a bag of rice, sending it flying all over the kitchen floor.
Step 9. Turn around to see a child standing in the doorway with eyebrows raised, looking totally unimpressed...
Step 10. Briefly consider getting cranky. Laugh instead. Sweep, then make that kid some lunch!

2010-07-22T08:34:00.000-07:00

About the food...

We are in a unique position to really find out what food is like here, since we have no kitchen and must eat almost all of our meals out. It has been very hard to find a bad meal here! We eventually did at an Italian place, but I suppose it's our fault for deviating from the great Bavarian offerings here.

It's funny, because when I read descriptions on the menus, even in English, the entree usually sounds fairly unappetizing. I guess they don't mince words much. I have generally been very surprised and pleased by what shows up on my plate. As I have mentioned before, the salads are really good and fresh, with great flavor combinations-- like one with curried chicken and fresh oranges. There are a lot of deep fried items on the menus, and schnitzels and bratwurst, and many items are accompanied by fries. None of these are things I would usually eat, but there have been plenty of other options. And, the quality of the meats and everything is so good that the meals don't feel as heavy as you'd think. The other night, Jeff and I had steaks that were just amazing, accompanied by fries. I don't know what they did to those fat little wedges, but I swear that they had almost a butterscotch flavor to them-- also enhanced by some kind of dipping sauce that was more like hollandaise than aioli. Salads come with a lot of pickled vegetables, which I love. And I thought I knew what sauerkraut was, and really enjoyed making my own, but it is nothing like what they make here. First of all, they serve it warm, and it is heavily spiced, with allspice and cloves, for example.

Restaurant food seems to cost about the same as it would in the US. Maybe a little cheaper, even, but of course we did most of our eating out at happy hour, and I don't think they have those here. Wine and beer is very affordable, and of course very good! I'd never had a German red wine before, and I really can't understand why! They are delicious, and remind me very much of California reds. A local recently confirmed this impression, telling me that many of the original vintners in CA were German, and brought their vines over to propagate. Ironically, what we need to keep under control when we eat out is our water consumption. It is unheard of to serve tap water at the table, and so we have to pay for our bottled water-- almost always carbonated. I find myself drinking a couple of glasses before we go out so I can save a few euros!

The style of service is also very different, but I kind of like it. Waitstaff are generally paid a reasonable wage, and tipping is very minimal. No one is overly eager-to-please, trying to get everything just right for a higher tip. You seat yourself, and the table is yours for the evening-- no trying to rush you out the door so someone else can sit there. Someone will come and bring you a plate of napkins and silverware for you to place for yourself. Service is a little slow, and food doesn't typically arrive all at the same time-- so the rule is to just eat yours when it comes, and don't wait for the others. It all seems so laid back, with the emphasis being on the food. But of course everything is also very clean, which is extremely high on my list. So far, we've eaten most meals outdoors-- it will be a slightly different experience when the weather changes.

I have yet to go to a real grocery store. We don't have a car yet, but we'll rent one on Saturday and I will finally be able to put some substantial food in our fridge. Fortunately, there is the daily open market that I mentioned previously. I have bought a lot of produce there, and it is all great. And, I think, quite a bit more affordable than in Portland. This is very satisfying to me-- that we can afford to actually shop from farmers, and to do so on a frequent basis. Today I also bought some dairy products from the local convenience market, and all of it was both organic and very affordable. This is fantastic!! I will have so much fun cooking here.

The greatest challenge with eating here actually has nothing to do with local food. We had Amelia's food allergies tested before we left Portland, ostensibly to simplify matters once we arrived here. She has had so many limitations that I hoped we could find out some good news and eat more freely now. Well, there was good news but also some bad. She had graduated from many of her old allergens, including eggs, corn, bananas, melon and tomatoes. However, she has since developed a severe allergy to peanuts and almonds and.... the dreaded GLUTEN. Believe it or not, she hasn't had a bit of bread since we arrived here! The only way this is possible is because there are so many other good options for her, including potatoes, which are served everywhere. The hotel we're at has a crazy-extravagant "continental" breakfast. There are plates of cheeses and cold cuts, desserts, weird salads-- even one with oysters-- sausages, eggs, breads, an assortment of mueslis, fruit salad, and a range of yogurts. Amelia really packs it in, usually eating a bowl of muesli (with fruit juice in it,) three breakfast sausages, two slices of ham, and fruit. She is a very happy camper! And she has also had more meat on most days than she used to have all week! She doesn't mind of course, and I keep watching for a big growth spurt!

We were told that people here really like to eat sweets, and boy!-- They weren't joking! People hand Amelia candy all day, and there are bakeries on every corner selling cakes and danishes. I am trying to just be flexible and not make it a big deal. Also, the portions are huge! I think I've probably finished everything on my plate only a couple of times. Even salads are hard to finish. I have heard that Germans do not like to waste, and my sources confirm that they do indeed finish their portions. I'll work on it-- it shouldn't be too difficult!

2010-07-17T23:25:00.001-07:00

Getting Set Up... and a Tale of a Very Frustrated Shopper.

So, we have been here for almost a week now, and have one week left of being able to stay in the hotel. We are very very excited to move into our place, and are fortunate enough to already have bought our washer, dryer and refrigerator from the previous tenants. However, we don't have ANY other household goods.

Originally, I had imagined quite a different scenario than the one we're in. In that story, we arrived in Germany with a very large deposit in our bank account. This included our "buy-out"-- the money we received for not shipping anything-- our per diem funds that we would use for buying our meals in the next two weeks, money from selling our cars (the one that would fetch a substantial amount hasn't sold yet) as well as some sort of salary from Jeff's current job-- he didn't work for the last month in the US. As you may have guessed, none of this was in our account upon arrival! There had been a big miscommunication somewhere, which we are still trying to determine the source of. Of course, this was bad news. We managed to have some of the funds expedited, but we are not in nearly the same situation that we had originally imagined.

So, now we have paid a huge amount of money to our landlord for the deposit and rent, as well as the payment for some home repairs before we move in, and... We have no furniture, beds, or cookware. I had thought, so naively, that I would hop from shop to shop, just picking out what suited us best, not worrying so much about bargains, etc. I had expected to find plenty to choose from, as well. I was smart enough to have already ordered dishes and sheets and blankets from an online shop here in Europe that will deliver them to us this week. Whew! And they were a great price. What I was also quite unprepared for is how much our money would seem to shrink as we converted it to Euros! All of this was just my own ignorance, but it has still thrown me for a loop! We visited a huge furniture store here in town yesterday, and it was a little sobering. Not only was everything super expensive, but it was also... wide, square, short leather couch sets, like this one. The general aesthetic here seems to be 80s modern to very modern. Of course there is nothing wrong with this, but I just can't seem get into it. And, did you realize that IKEA is not a bargain store in Europe? The style has never particularly appealed to me, but I always could count on this store when I needed something cheap and easy. A co-worker of Jeff's kindly drove us to one an hour away, and we spent a couple of bewildered hours there. The prices are much higher here, and it didn't have nearly the same selection! The two curtain panels we would have liked for our room were over $70! We did buy a number of smaller items, especially for Amelia's room, but still no beds, mattresses, tables or chairs. Or curtains.

Oh, another thing-- our apartment does not come with overhead light fixtures. The ceilings are bare with wires coming out, so that is one more thing that we need to find for each room. Fortunately, ours DOES come with a kitchen-- most people take their whole kitchens with them when they move out of a place! Although I cannot imagine any other option than the "cash out" simply for the sake of having the money on hand to pay for our apartment, it is a little hard to think of all of the essentials that I loved and got rid of. Pots and pans! Our couch! Light fixtures! Long gone, and unbelievable expensive to replace.

There are a few German design blogs that I follow, and I was so fortunate to stumble upon a French shop that will ship furniture here for a reasonable price. Not only are the pieces beautiful and to my liking, but they were actually much much more affordable than what I found here. The only drawback is that it will probably take a month for them to arrive. I am hoping to find a little patio set that we can use on our balcony to ear our meals. And we will need to buy mattresses and have our beds on the floor for a while, just like we did all three years that we lived in Portland.

Amelia has the BEST little girl's room! It's on the far end of the building, with two huge arched windows that look out onto our neighbor's courtyard. It is long and has three pretty alcoves in it. I am having it painted all white this week, and then I'll paint the inside of the alcoves pink. I ordered a canopy-less version of this bed for her, and am looking for a cozy little chair and a bookshelf for to make a reading corner. Her room is bigger than both of our previous rooms put together.
I bought her some pretty floral bedding at IKEA, and a very pink blanket, as well as a little lamp she was smitten with.

So, we inch along. The other complication is the fact that we don't have a car yet. Jeff has to get his military license before he can drive. The test is very very long and tricky, and he almost passed a few days ago. He'll take it again tomorrow, and if he passes he'll get the license on the same day. We are shopping for a car right now, but the rules are very strict, and he can't even really test drive until he's licensed. Fingers crossed!!

I hope this post doesn't give the impression that I am not super glad and thankful to be here. I would be mortified to be perceived as complaining about all of this-- we are really excited to be here. It's just so much more complicated than I had imagined, and I am trying hard not to waste my energy worrying about all of the basics we need to get squared away. I am really looking forward to where we'll be at in a month or two!

2010-07-16T04:21:00.000-07:00

HOW many hours left in this day?!

So, it's about 1:30, but it feels like forever ago that I woke up at five a.m. Once we had breakfast and Jeff left for work, this is how our day unfolded:

1. Meet with a friend (Yosef) of our landlord's who will take us to pick out some carpet-- but need to make a couple stops on the way.

2. Go to the bank, take out some money for lunch and carpet buying, etc.
For some reason, I can't get money from the ATM. It says 0.00 available, but I know we do have money in there.

3. Try to call the bank in the US on my cell phone. (The phone was passed on to me by someone who left.) I get messages in German about the call I am making, that I cannot complete it, but I can't understand the instructions. I also gather that I am about out of minutes on the phone, and that I need to buy more. Ah, yes-- that's another reason I'm trying to get money out of the bank! Most businesses will not use my Visa card-- they need a Euro card, which we don't have yet....

4. Go into the bank to change the American dollars I have, so I can buy time on my phone.
The teller tells me that I need to come back once the till opens, in half an hour. I don't want to be late to meet the guy taking me to the carpet store, so I head over to the apartment. He arrives shortly, and I tell him I need to go to the bank.

5. Stop by another bank that is closer to the apartment. They will not change my money, and instruct me to walk to the first bank.

6. Walk to the first bank and wait in line for 20 minutes. Amelia is whining and trying to lay down on the floor the whole time. She is not used to walking everywhere, and it's very hot. Finally, it is my turn. I give the teller my money, he does some slow calculations and... Asks for my passport. I don't have my passport with me. We go back and forth a bit, and he tells me he absolutely cannot help me.

7. I manage to call Jeff to see if he has my passport, or if I might be able to go back to the hotel and pick it up. Unfortunately, he has it with him on the army base. I have a few Euros, but not much, and still need to be able to buy lunch for Amelia and me.

8. I make a very wise decision to halt all activity and buy a scoop of watermelon gelato for myself and my tired, cranky, hot little girl. We sit down and eat it, I wipe a few tears away, and we both soldier on.

9. I go to a T-Mobile store and ask if I can buy some more time with my Visa. They say no. I ask the girl helping me to at least listen to the message I keep hearing from the company on my phone and try to tell me what it says. She tells me I have no minutes left, then talks to someone else. They decide there IS a way for me to buy some time with my Visa. She even does the adding of the time from the card I bought for me. I feel a little better.

10. We go back to the apartment, and I tell Yosef I don't have any money today to shop with. He says it won't be a problem, that we'll pay when the carpet is delivered.

11. We drive to the carpet store, and, naturally, everything is very expensive. It will cost us almost $1000 to put carpet in two bedrooms, including labor. Everything just costs so much more, especially with the dollar being so weak. But we HAVE to put something down. I call Jeff, and he says to just go ahead. But, I don't have the special form with me to use to skip the German taxes (19%!) on this purchase. We can make the order and reserve it, but we'll have to come back soon to bring the form and make the payment. This will delay our move-in date for our apartment.

12. Yosef insists that he must take Amelia and me to an Italian gelateria close-by. Amelia can't believe her good fortune! We sit and chat and eat chocolate gelato-- the day is getting a bit better.

13. The original plan was to go to a furniture store after this to compare prices, etc. but it's getting too late now, and I need to meet our landlord at our apartment soon. We return to the apartment, meet with our landlord to give him a check. (Side note-- here, it is customary to pay a deposit of 3 months rent, in addition to the current month's rent, although it is later returned with interest.) We get that done.

14. I ask Amelia if it would be OK if I just gave her a Lara bar for lunch, and she thinks this is a great idea. We walk home, she eats, and now she is taking her nap (thank goodness!)

This afternoon we will be going to IKEA, thanks to a co-worker of Jeff's. Fortunately, Jeff was able to pull cash out of the bank while on base today. I am SO glad that tomorrow is Saturday, and Jeff will be able to spend two days with us while we try to figure it all out!!

2010-07-14T08:04:00.000-07:00

First Impressions...

Well, first of all, it is SUPER HOT here right now. Apparently, this is unusual. Also, Germans don't seem to believe in air conditioning at all, but they do seem to be firm believers in cooling from the inside out-- "eis cafes" are packed out, people everywhere digging into huge gelatos and ice cream sundaes. We have yet to try this method, but it looks pretty effective...

So, I have been trying to think of a word to describe Amberg, and I think adorable, picturesque and idyllic are the best I can come up with. The city was originally smaller, and walled in, with a river running around and through it. The "old city" is the downtown, with the smaller shops, theaters and cafes. All of this is still mostly the antiquated structures, including cobblestone streets and wooden bridges. Our apartment is right in the center of all of this, on the main pedestrian street. There are larger, more modern roads outside of the walled city, and this is where you'd find things like car dealerships and big stores. All along the outside of the wall is a beautiful parkway for people to bike and walk along the perimeter of the original city. There are streams and gardens and play areas all along the way-- we have been taking this route over to our apartment as we do our business. We have eaten most of our meals so far at restaurants in the main plaza by the very big, very beautiful old church, with a big fountain and outdoor seating-- incredibly dreamy! And we hear those church bells tolling throughout the day.

Something that struck me right away as we drove from Frankfurt to here is that the terrain looks very much like Portland's! Lots of wild greenery along the roads, but also beautiful farmland. Really lovely.

The driving over here is intense. Cars drive really fast, tailgate like crazy and there is little space between cars in their lanes. Drivers are very aggressive, gunning and breaking all along the way! We've already heard stories about American drivers being intentionally bumped from behind for not being speedy enough! Jeff will be taking his driver's test soon, but I have no timeline for doing it. I think I'll just wait until it seems like I need to be driving-- I plan to get a bicycle soon, and that should meet most of my transportation needs-- the train station is a 5- 10 minute walk.

The quality of food here is very high. All of the produce is super fresh and beautiful. All of the eggs have yolks that are a deep copper color-- scrambled eggs come out very orange! Although I don't particularly care for most traditional heavier fare, I think I will love eating here. I've noticed that there is an open air market set up in the mornings in the plaza I mentioned earlier. All of the produce was beautiful, so I am very excited to be able to do daily shopping there-- it's a few blocks from our place.

More stories and updates soon!

2010-07-04T16:00:00.000-07:00

Leaving Portland...

Well, this time next week we'll be on the airplane, starting our Big Adventure. There has been so much to do, of course, and I am just waiting for the moment when we are at the airport and there is nothing left to take care of. Our house has that empty sound, everything echoing off the walls. We have an air mattress where a couch should be, that is where I'm typing from.

The next few days are just a series of goodbyes and checking things off the list. Not fun. I think we're right on target in terms of what must be done, so that's comforting. What hasn't been so great is that I have been pretty sick for the past three weeks. I had bronchitis and a double ear infection as well as a severe sinus thing, and ended up resorting to antibiotics for the bronchitis. Unfortunately, the ears and lungs are in trouble again, and I don't feel like I can do the being-a-good-patient thing much more. This is no time to rest! But I'm trying. On Tuesday I go in for a "Myer's Cocktail" which is not nearly as fun as it sounds. It's and intravenous infusion of vitamins to help get my immune system stronger, and give me an all around boost for all that I have ahead of me. Let's hope it's just the ticket!

I have been so struck in the last few weeks by all of the warmth and support we have received from everyone we meet. People are SO enthusiastic when they find out our plans, especially strangers! Not once has someone failed to express their congratulations and good wishes for our next chapter, particularly people we have just barely met. Our yard sale was two full days of verbal blessings and enthusiasm from anyone who came by wondering where we are off to. We hear all sorts of wonderful stories about how beautiful Germany is, how friendly the people are, and what a great place it is for children.

Even people who are sad to see us go have made this time sweeter. I have had neighbors just call and ask how they can help (I inevitably send them to the post office), lending us an air mattress, dishes and whatever else we might need. Another newer friend came over and helped me pack, then gave me an acupuncture treatment. The same friend announced early this week that she was bringing us dinner that day, and that we'd be going to her home for dinner the following week. She also rounded up some chairs for us to sit in after we sold all of ours! A woman who moved into the place I was working before I closed my practice did a trade with me for a facial, but then called and asked me to come back for an extra service she wanted to give me yesterday! She also loaded me up with trial sized-cosmetics, exactly what I needed for traveling. A former co-worker of Jeff's has happily taken Amelia to her house all day while we took care of business the last couple of weekends. Today we went to say goodbye to a waiter at the restaurant that I would always take Amelia to when we went out for breakfast a couple times a month. He has been so kind to us, and it was a sad and sweet goodbye-- and he bought us all breakfast! Many times, I have been very surprised where most of our help and support has come from-- not necessarily where we would have expected, which makes it even more touching to me.

Although it seemed unusually hard for me to find my place here in Portland, I feel quite loved and taken care of as we prepare to go. I am so thankful. It has also been comforting to me to experience people on the other side-- Germany-- also looking out for us, even before we've arrived. The previous tenants of our future apartment are leaving us their cell phones, and we bought some major appliances from them for cheap. Jeff's team members are giving all sorts of insider information that will make the transition much easier, and I get a real sense that they all look out for each other. I mean, someone even went out and visited the local preschools for us, and now we have a spot for Amelia in the Fall. I know I mentioned it before, but the details are all coming together so nicely! We are really excited and happy, amid all of the stress. We still just can't believe this is all happening, and again, just feel incredibly thankful.

2010-06-22T20:56:00.000-07:00

The Birthday Report...

I can't believe I'm mother to a four year old! Jeff and Amelia spent the weekend camping with his folks, but got back in time this morning for a full day of celebration.

We started by going to Amelia's favorite breakfast place, where the staff (one guy in particular) adores her and treats her like royalty. They bought her abelskivers and mint chocolate cake. We made sure there was ham involved to help her cope with the day's festivities.

Next stop, a long-anticipated manicure and pedicure. We had been thinking for a while of what Amelia would love, and settled upon a memorable experience. I told her a month ago that she would get her nails done, and she has been SO excited. She kept announcing to people in the restaurant that she was getting a manicure and pedicure. The event did not disappoint, and she sat perfectly still waiting for her nails to dry. We let her play at a children's store nearby, then she conked out hard for a long nap.Queen for a day...
Yep, that's Jeff in the background, joining in the festivities!

We woke her up and went out for a sushi happy hour, followed by the second most anticipated event, now a tradition: the SKY TRAM. We parked downtown and walked to where the tram is. She soaked up every minute the ride, took in all of the scenery, and announced to everyone that she is a traveler. Then, it was home for a bubble bath. Whew! What a day for a little girl. It was really nice to just have a day full of family fun!Waiting for the Sky Tram to come pick us up...

I love this picture!
Happily returning home, all birthdayed-out.

2010-06-17T13:54:00.000-07:00

It's That Time Again...

Birthday Season! Yesterday it was my mom, today it's my cousin, and Tuesday it will be Amelia. Mine comes a week later, then we take a little break, move to Germany, and celebrate Jeff in August.

I've been thinking hard about what to do for Amelia this year. Of course there will not be any new "stuff" added to the mix. She doesn't really play with toys anyway, and doesn't seem to enjoy working with art supplies yet. But what she lives for is a good story. I tell her one true story every day as we're driving to preschool. She is obsessed with snorkeling and food stories, but also loves to hear about travels in other countries. Jeff tells her a story about every other night at bedtime. She cannot get enough. I'm not sure what took me this long, but I finally went to the library and got her the Mrs. Pigglewiggle audio book for her to listen to in her room whenever she wants. Such a big hit! She goes up in her room, sits in her little rocking chair with a blanket across her lap, and just listens.

So, for her birthday, I'd like to ask family members and friends who are interested to record a story as an audio file and send it to us. You can either be reading a story, or telling a story of your own. She will be getting a little iPod for her birthday with stories on it, just in time for the long airplane ride. Of course, it's too late for most people to get something to me before her birthday, but if they trickled in over the summer that would be so great too!

I am looking forward to writing a longer post about her soon.

2010-05-26T15:49:00.000-07:00

Click. Click. Click... It's just like Tetris!

It's almost eerie, how everything is falling into place for us. This morning, we got word that a space has been reserved for Amelia at a preschool that's a five minute walk from our future home. She'll be attending from 8 a.m to 2 p.m. The class sizes are very small: 5-7 children each, and it seems like a sweet environment. I am SO thrilled!

So, you may be wondering what I'll be doing there, since I won't be staying home with Amelia or working... I'm going back to school! I am enrolling in a degree completion program through PSU that can be done completely online. I don't have a lot of options as to which degree I'll end up with. If I did, I would probably do a Psychology degree. But Sociology isn't too far from it, and I'll have a minor in Women's Studies. I'm not sure exactly how this will interact with the type of work I am already doing, but I know that my work is taking a turn toward the psychological anyway, specifically working with the experiences of women in today's culture.
Anyway, I am SUPER excited. I have always had my lack of a degree kind of hanging over my head. I felt so disappointed that I had gone to school full time for six years (including summer school and winter terms) without actually getting a degree. In addition I was always working at least one, and up to three jobs at the same time. I should really have a degree by now, for all of the effort I put in! I never imagined a situation where I could go back to school without having to be juggling various jobs and roles. Sure, I won't be a single "student" anymore, but in many ways my load will be lighter than it was while I was in school before.
The part that is sliding into place nicely here, beyond Amelia's school schedule, is finances. Another benefit of having a taken a significant loss with my business last year is qualifying to recieve several thousand dollars of Federal Pell Gant money! This will definitely cover all of my courses this year, and I am going to try to max it out, course credit-wise. Next year will be a different story, but hopefully I can get through the bulk of the work before then. Click-- another piece!

OK, so so far we have: our home to live in until we move, our ideal location in Germany, a beautiful home there, a great landlord, major appliances (we're buying them from the previous tenants, so they'll be in our home when we get there), Amelia's preschool, a way for me to finish my degree, time and funding for that, a great job for Jeff.... Amazing! I cannot think of a time in my life where things have ever come together like this before. It feels weird, and it's a bit of a struggle to wrap my brain around everything, and BELIEVE it's really going to happen.

2010-05-24T11:42:00.000-07:00

Family Time

Believe it or not, we had never taken a family vacation until this past weekend! I am not exactly sure why, maybe it had to do with simply working hard at surviving for the past few years. Anyway, with all of the craziness that is going on in our lives right now, it was definitely time to reach that milestone! We stayed in a little cottage at Cannon Beach for two nights. Although the weather was a little disappointing, we had a TON of fun!

On the way, we stopped at Target for a few supplies. I am usually totally against plastic toys and junk, but let me tell you-- that $7 set of sand toys was worth every penny! We also bought a $5 owl kite that we flew for hours. Somehow, the whole family left heir flip flops at home, so we fixed that right away as well. I brought food to prepare for all but one meal, and the whole trip was incredibly easy and low-stress. We all had so much fun just hanging out and doing whatever the weather allowed. In spite of rain and cold, we were able to spend some frigid hours in the sand and waves.

I am trying to work harder at actually documenting events, so I went a little overboard. Enjoy!

2010-05-11T08:13:00.000-07:00

Living in the present...

While I was showing you my future German kitchen, I was also showing my current Portland kitchen to a design blog I follow. They are having a little show-and-tell style contest on small kitchens, and mine has been entered! It's really fun to see it there, looking so official, and also fun to enjoy my kitchen of three years just before we go. This is the link.

2010-05-06T14:56:00.000-07:00

The Kitchen.

Fun! This seems pretty roomy for a European kitchen, and I love the floor tile design. I couldn't help but scan for a dishwasher right away-- that will feel SO amazing to me (and especially Jeff!) More details gradually trickling in...

2010-05-04T08:08:00.000-07:00

Moving Right Along...

Well, we are almost at the two month mark, and plenty has happened since my last post. First of all, after MUCH drama with our home, we are in the clear to be here until we move. It looks like a short sale will be made, and we are of course extremely relieved. The bank is currently processing an offer, and I hope this also means that we can stop showing it-- that has been quite a hassle!

I have two more weeks of work before I close my practice, and the timing seems just about right. I am enjoying working, but will soon be so preoccupied with logistics and future adventures that I wouldn't be able to do much good anyhow.

Here is a very interesting wrinkle, speaking of logistics: Jeff's employer will pay us a very large bonus to NOT ship our belongings over to Germany. The sum is easily thrice what our things are worth, so we accepted. The other side of this is that we actually get to SELL almost everything we own, so we will be able to start fresh with financial ease.

Speaking of ease.... We already have an apartment waiting for us! Not only is the apartment itself large and beautiful, but it's in the town we wanted to live in. Moreover, it's on the main pedestrian street of downtown Amberg, so everything will be very close by. The train station is a couple of blocks away, and of course shops and cafes are just downstairs. I look at the pictures of the apartment and at photos on Google and am in total disbelief. I have the "don't count your chicks before they hatch" philosophy deeply embedded into my brain, so it has actually been a little hard to enjoy all of this. I need to "have a little faith" that good things are really coming our way!

This is a picture from Google Maps of the block we'll be living on!

The odd thing is that there is so much I don't know about our place. It has three bedrooms, but I don't know how many bathrooms or what the total square footage is. I don't know what the kitchen looks like, but I have caught glimpses of red and white checkered tile on the floor and walls. The one bathroom I've seen is fully tiled, which I love! As for the picturesque little courtyard, I don't know if we share it with another unit or not. We have two staircases, so does that mean that we have three stories? Or is the entrance at the bottom, just going right up the stairs? I look forward to finding out more. My number one requirement is lots of light and windows, and so I am very very happy! Here are some pictures...

So-- how did all of this happen? When I showed her pictures of our new home, Amelia suspiciously asked me if I'd gone on an airplane to Germany to find it while she was sleeping. The real story is that Jeff's future teammates have just been incredibly kind and helpful. One family will be leaving at the end of June, and they contacted us to see if we might be interested in taking over their rental, which just happened to be in the town we were hoping for. The landlord has been very agreeable and accommodating as well. It can be really really hard to find an available apartment in this area, so we are ecstatic. Can you imagine how much more difficult it would be to arrive and have to start looking for a place to live in several different towns? Now we even have an address! Also, they have been helping us to find a preschool (Kindergarten there) for Amelia so we can get her settled into a routine quickly. Next, we hope to find a car-- a cute, speedy, German one, of course.

What else?... Well, I think the biggest thing on my plate right now is just selling our things. The DoD will pay for storage, but we only plan to put some heirloom furniture and boxes of mementos in there. We'll ship things like sheets and towels, kitchen tools, and clothes. Apart from that, we plan to sell it all. We had one yard sale already, and next is a party where we turn our home into a little shop and invite our friends over to get first pick of everything. Then it will be a huge Craigslist push, followed by a few more yard sales. Wow! Needless to say, the next couple of months will be crazy. I am thankful that we can enjoy a part of what Portland is best at-- summer! It seems like a really nice way to leave, eating our meals outdoors, going to farmers markets, attending concerts in the park, etc. Lots of good stuff coming our way!

2010-03-19T19:20:00.000-07:00

Dreams Do Come True!

Many of you Facebookies have already heard, but it's official: Jeff has accepted a position in Vilseck, Germany! We heard the good news last night, and have spent the day ecstatic. The job begins on July 9th, we fly to Frankfurt and spend the first two weeks looking for a place to live and settling in.

We are incredibly thrilled and thankful, and really looking forward to this new adventure. The base is in a really beautiful location, and we are looking at the small town of Amberg to live in. In fact, we already have a lead on a great apartment there downtown-- a friend of a friend who will be leaving in June! Although Jeff will only have the standard four weeks off each year, we are really looking forward to weekend trips to Prague and Munich and other surrounding areas, as well as further travel in Europe during vacation times.

At this point, I have so many questions and decisions to make. First on my mind is, What do I keep, sell, or store? Of course, my first inclination is to sell everything we own and go over with just clothes and our Le Creuset cookware. But I suppose a sofa would be a handy thing to have in our new life. Should we hit the post-winter sales and stock up on winter gear, or do we buy them there in the Fall? Do we sell our three vehicles (don't ask!) and buy one used German car, or do we take our Mazda and look into mopeds? On a different note, how long do I keep my practice open for? Now that the financial pressure is off, will I enjoy working more? I am sure to have a very busy schedule once I announce my imminent departure-- do I want to be working a lot during our last couple months here?

So, our minds are still whirling quite a bit. In the meantime, Jeff will have a mountain of paperwork to fill out, Amelia will need to finally get vaccinated, and we continue showing our house to people every day. The one dark cloud in this newly sunny sky of the future is the house situation. Our bank has been messing with us lately-- they told us they would extend the foreclosure date month-to-month, that this is very routine to do, just call them on the 17th to put in the request. Well, we did, and then they told us that they would not, in fact, extend the auction date unless someone made an offer on our house. It had only been on the market for a week! So, we dropped the price to a ludicrous amount, and are just hoping hoping hoping that someone will put an offer in this week. The last thing we need is to have to move out in a few days, for three months. If someone DOES put an offer in, then we will be sailing very smoothly into our future plans-- the DoD people will come and pack us up, move whatever goes into storage, and we will be on our way without ever having to pay rent or pack ourselves up. Perfect! Every time I've driven by a "For Rent" sign, I have felt a huge wave of relief. We are not sure what to expect Over There, but we are happy and excited. Hurray!

2010-03-08T14:37:00.000-08:00

Let's Get You All Caught Up....

Part of the reason that I have waited so long to post any family updates is that I have not really known what was going on myself! Here I will try to explain the latest.

Our House
This has been the biggest roller coaster EVER. We were in the process of trying for a loan modification for the last couple of months. Because most of our "hardship" qualifications are related to my business, I ended up writing and re-writing and re-sending versions of a profit and loss statement until it finally satisfied the requirements. This was a little stressful, since our foreclosure date was February 26th, and it was getting closer and closer. Finally, a couple of weeks before that date, Jeff spoke to someone who said that they had everything they needed, that they had requested a delay in foreclosure proceedings, and to call back in a few days to make sure the request had gone through.

In the meantime, we seemed to be having awful luck and money was pouring out of our bank account for things like car repairs and other not-fun expenditures. Nine days before our foreclosure I told Jeff, "Hey, why don't you call the bank about our foreclosure date-- we could sure use some good news right about now!" So he did call... But the news was terrible. It seems that the person we spoke to that had told us we were "good to go" was a phantom. The new person Jeff talked to said that they had never received the proper versions of the profit and loss statements, and that they had closed our case. Moreover, it didn't look like we would qualify for a modification anyway. He called again and talked to someone else, and although that person seemed better informed, the information was the same. We would need to start the process all over again. A week and a half before the auction date.

At this point, we were all set to leave for a mini-vacation at my parents' rental in Bend-- just what we needed! The plan was that Amelia would spend a few nights with Jeff's parents, then all three of them would join us for the weekend. Well, Amelia came down with a fever and awful cough the day before we were going to take her to Silverton. Of course we couldn't just drop of a sick, miserable child at her grandparents' so we just stayed home and took care of her. Fortunately, she recovered in a couple of days, so Jeff and I were still able to take a few days in Bend, which we really needed. We didn't do a whole lot. We mostly rested, and in that amount of time of doing nothing I was able to come to a place where I could say, "Even if we end up losing our house next weekend, I can handle it. We'll be OK." I hadn't been able to come anywhere near feeling OK with anything earlier in the week! Whew!

A couple days after we got home, we had a day full of good news. First, we found out that we had been given an extra month to sort things out with our house. We also found out that we could most likely do a short sale (we didn't qualify for a modification after all) and that a short sale would most likely also take care of a secondary loan that has been a huge problem for us. And the news didn't stop there! We heard from our tax lady, and because I had taken a significant loss in my business last year (not the good news) we had a very large reimbursement coming our way! We both felt like we could breathe again.

That night, we went to a fancy restaurant to celebrate all of the relief. Although the food was good, the highlight of the meal was watching Amelia enjoy herself at a new restaurant. She ordered Rabbit Parpadelle and tried the Rabbit Pate that came with our appetizer sampler, and raved about them both (she also brought the leftovers for lunch to preschool, quite proudly.) She kept saying, "What a special night. What a great celebration!" This girl was born to eat out-- she pulled out all of the best manners we've ever taught her-- very carefully wiping her mouth and fingers with her napkin, then returning it to her lap; keeping her food and used utensils on her plate, watching and copying our every move, minding her P's and Q's and telling the owner how great everything was. What fun!

All of that was really not very long ago-- two weeks, maybe? Since then, things have gotten a little more roller-coaster-y. I got some significant information that I am so glad I was not aware of last month! I had no idea that in a typical foreclosure auction, you are kicked out of your home that day. I had always thought that there was something like an escrow period in which to gather yourself, find a place to live and peaceably move out. Wrong. Our realtor spelled it out for us earlier this week, and I was completely shocked, not to mention alarmed. The reason he brought this up is that there is still a possibility that things will not go our way, and we could still end up in an auction situation. The bank will likely extend the date for us month-to-month, but it will always be a little dicey, until we get an offer on the house. So, in addition to having the house ready to be shown all the time, we are also looking at rental properties daily. I checked out four of them on Saturday. The thing is, we could still end up living here for several more months, depending on how the short-sale process goes. Or, we could end up abruptly having to leave in, oh, say... three weeks. However the most likely scenario will be that someone will make an offer before the month is over and then we're secure until the bank comes to a decision on that offer, which could be up to 90 days. Then we start that process over again-- things are not sure, but they are certainly in our favor for now.

Now that our home is on the market, it's been a little creepy to have all these people driving by really slowly, coming back and crawling by again to get another look. Or just walking over here and hanging around forever, scoping our house out. While we are rather tidy people, it is a little stressful to get a call saying that a group of people will be coming through our home in an hour-- I end up running around frantically trying to clean up and put things away (remember we have no closets or drawers to put stuff in!) I was really thankful to find someone to barter with for housekeeping. She will come every other week to do floors and windows, so at least I don't have to worry about that stuff so much.

Of course, I feel pretty sad about moving out of our house. It is particularly hard to list it at a price that WE COULD AFFORD! Especially looking at the rental properties in our price range. It is such a struggle for me to figure out what is most important as we consider housing options. Of course I want to grow as much food as possible, and to keep our chickens, but that seems like a luxury. I definitely want a place for Amelia to go outside and play, and that is looking like a difficult thing to find as well. But what I really feel like I can't abide is the thought of sharing a washing machine with 20 other people down in some dank little basement, especially with a kid that still wets her pants and sheets all the time. I just can't imagine not being able to do laundry all the time like we do now! So, we're just hoping to stay here for as long as possible, and maybe be able to afford something a bit more ideal by the time we need to go.

To make matters a little more uncertain, we are still in the process of applying for some positions overseas. Right now, we have applications in for Sicily, Stuttgart,and Vilseck, Germany. The two Germany positions begin in July, which could end up being PERFECT for our family. Now, more than ever, we feel like it would be ideal to go have an adventure, make some good money and take a break from all of this stuff for a couple of years. Jeff was just contacted this morning by the base in Vilseck to schedule an interview. This location is less desirable for us than the other two, but I think we'd take it anyway-- we're ready for something different!

As always, this whole situation really complicates things for my business. It has been a year now that I haven't known if I was going to stay and grow in Portland or not. It makes it hard to invest, both financially and in terms of time and energy-- I just don't know if it's worth it at the moment. For example, I'd like to lease a different office space, but there is no good way to decide where it should be, when I just don't know where we'll be living if we stay in Portland, or even when we'd move to a new neighborhood. I'd like to shell out some money toward advertising/ website/ signage that would pay off in the long run, but it would be a huge waste of money if we were to move out of the country this summer. So, I wait.

I have been feeling anxious and super scatter-brained lately. I haven't responded to most emails or returned phonecalls. I have let lots of other things slip, and I consider myself to be a rather "on top of it" kind of person. Oh, well. In the meantime, I am trying to find things that help give me perspective or relieve stress. Jeff and I went and bought a few new games, and I have taken up reading for pleasure rather than information for a while. I am cooking my way through a great Middle Eastern cookbook, and made the best cookies ever last week. The weather has been gorgeous, and although I am trying to hold back my gardening instincts, I have been enjoying pulling some weeds and hanging out with our lonely chicken, Carmen. Jeff and I both have gym memberships, something we decided was really worth it for the money when we are both so stressed out. I am trying to go downtown or to the waterfont and enjoy myself when I have a free morning, rather than coming back home and doing housework or wasting my time on the computer. So, we're coping. Never a dull moment, huh?

Wow, I had planned to update you on more than just our housing situation, but that was so involved that I think I'll leave the rest for next time.

2010-01-26T17:37:00.000-08:00

Portland's (Barter) Economy is Booming!...

It turns out that massage is very much in demand, and it has been really fun to meet people and exchange goods and/ or services. Many people are struggling financially, but it works out really well to exchange what we already have or can do, taking cash out of the equation. Many of these trades are for things that make our life feel rich, but that we would have a hard time justifying spending money on. So far, I have traded bodywork for:

Hair Services
A Spa Gift Card (worth $450!!)
Voice Lessons
Grass Fed Beef
Restaurant Gift Certificates
Massages
Acupuncture Treatments
Private Pilates Sessions
Custom Woodworking
Website Design Consulting
Childcare
Professional Photography

Can you believe it? I am lucky to live in a city that values community highly, and loves to find creative ways to help one another. I am currently working on having someone come clean my house 1-2x/ month as a trade (this may be the most exciting one for me yet!) It also feels good to know that I am providing something that people really need, but can't afford.
We feel so fortunate!

2010-01-15T15:56:00.000-08:00

2010- The Year of Possibilities

So, this year seems a little more unpredictable than most. I feel like every year we go through major transitions, but I guess 2009 was a little dull: no moves, no job switches (just all the drama that goes with being told you're losing your job, looking for a new one, and then finding at the very last minute that you have not, in fact, lost your job,) no pregnancies or other major life events. Just things breaking, leaking, or flooding and lots of big things almost happening.

But this year, this year may be different. Lots of things could go either way.
For starters, it turns out that we might not actually lose our house. We are deep in the process of applying again for a loan modification. Since we tried last time, banks have been pressed harder to play nice and actually try to help people out. So that might happen. Or we might do a short sale. In either case, it is unlikely that we will be out of here in the next month or so.

Unless... We go to Sicily in the Spring. Yes, it's back. The same position that Jeff originally applied for has opened again, and he has applied again. Things are going a little slowly on their end, but we expect to hear something from them soon. As far as we know, if we were offered the position, we would accept.

If not, I continue to work hard and enjoy the fruits of my labor (more work!) with my business. There is an office space that I am contemplating that is literally three minutes from our house (by car) and downstairs from my Naturopath's office. She is my greatest source of referrals, so that would obviously work nicely!

Also, I am thinking about finishing my degree. Portland State has a degree completion program, and I would get a BS in Sociology with a minor in either Psychology or Women's Studies. I recently applied for a big scholarship designed for women who are older (ahem) that never got their college degree. I just found out today that I didn't get it, but I am still considering the options for going back to school. I figure that if we go to Italy, that would be the perfect opportunity for me to work on that, since it can all be done online. We'll see!

Lots of things could stay exactly as they are, or we could be living a completely different life in the summer. Either way, we ware feeling positive. If we stay, there are many possibilities to be explored, and things are looking better for our family. If we go, many of our worldly worries would be relieved, and it would be a big adventure for us. What an exciting year!

2009-12-15T17:25:00.001-08:00

No wonder my daughter hates eating her leftovers...

She is sitting on Jeff's lap with rapt attention, being read a cookbook, adding her own ideas and applauding good combinations. They've been reading for a long time, but she just keeps asking "How 'bout another one?"

2009-12-08T11:50:00.000-08:00

Work.

I have been busy. Not necessarily always with treating clients, but in all sorts of ways related to work. It's strange to think that I have been in my studio space for over a year now. Granted, four months of that were taken up with flooding and related nonsense, but still! Over a year! In that amount of time, I have come up with a business name and logo, and a very specific idea of who I want to work with, how and why. I have attended five courses, most of them four days long. Brochures, cards, networking meetings, advertising, seeking local listings online, et cetera. BUSY. And now it's actually starting to pay off! In October, I suddenly had this surge of appointments, and I really don't want to work more than I did then. Things naturally slow down a bit with the holidays, but even so, I have enough work to keep me from worrying about the income.

Somehow, I feel like it is my work that has finally brought me into Portland. We've been here for 2.5 years now, and I had felt like an outsider for most of that time. I worked so hard at being outgoing and friendly and doing all of the things I felt were necessary (however obligatory) to get into a new community, but it just didn't seem to be working. It was lonely, discouraging and exhausting. Once I really shifted my focus to my passion, and investing in myself and my business, things began to come together. Last Spring, I took a course on abdominal/pelvic massage. I had been thinking a lot of the difficult experiences women have in this world, and how I might be able to help them heal in as they process. At the same time, I felt like I could really use some support and the kind of help I was providing for others. At that class I met a woman who has become a dear, dear friend to me. We have a lot in common, and a similar heart for working with women. From that point on, I feel that I have made so many great connections. I have been reading books on femininity and healing, and that is what prompted me to start hosting a monthly get together for women. Even though almost everyone there is a relatively new acquaintance, it still feels really good just to be gathering and listening to one another, and offering support-- and a lot of laughter!

I now feel like I know a wide range of practicioners in Portland-- naturopaths, chiropractors, acupuncturists, PTs and other bodyworkers, and it has been a big boost to start getting referrals from them, and also being able to meet for study groups on shared modalities. I have also been able to trade and get the work I need for myself! This city is completely saturated with natural health practicioners, particularly MTs. Sometimes I dream about living in a little town where I am THE massage therapist, and there is little competition. At the same time, the pressures have helped me to crystalize my vision and work to set myself apart. I have heard from a number of people that they just don't know anyone else who is doing what I am doing. And I LOVE what I'm doing, so it works out very well!

Next month, I am going to San Francisco with the friend I mentioned earlier to take a course in Somato-Emotional Release. This is a class I have wanted to take for years, that I have finally filled the prerequisites for. I am especially excited to go with my friend, so we can process through together and talk about it as we learn more down the road. Also on the horizon: looking for a new space. There has been more flooding in my room this Fall, and obviously that makes me a bit nervous. Also, there have been some other issues there, and I feel like I might be ready to move on to the next phase. We'll see.

A good friend of mine took these lovely pictures of me working in my studio-- I can finally show you a little bit of my space (it's so small that it was actually hard to even photograph.) I like to post links to relevant articles through facebook, so if you'd like to follow along you can go to the Laya sidebar and become a fan. I technically have a website, but it is not really ready to be shared. I'll let you know.

Thanks, everyone, for listening!

2009-10-26T19:47:00.000-07:00

A New Wrinkle

It seems like more and more we are coming into a new chapter, and it really does feel like Portland-- Take 2. There are some things that you just don't put out there much, but this one will affect us in big ways, so it's worth updating everyone on. The bottom line is that we are foreclosing on our adorable little home of two years. There are definitely some positives here mixed in with the more obvious negatives. We bought at the very top of the market, and so much of the information we based our decisions on just completely changed within a year. It was a stretch for us financially, but armed with optimism, substantial savings, and a plan for me to start my own practice soon, we took the leap. Bump after bump after bump on my road to having my own business, I am finally there, but too late. When we were thinking about going overseas, we looked at what it would be like to rent our house out. That's when we realized that we were paying way more for our house than it was worth, and our savings had already run out. And we had pared our budget down to the bare minimums long ago. It was really hard to get to a place of needing to find other options-- and we exhaustively researched all of them-- finding foreclosure to be the only one actually available to us at this point, unless we wanted to gather more debt.

So, we stopped making mortgage payments this summer and started making big payments on the debt we had incurred making up for our deficiencies and starting my business. We got our notice last week that our home will be auctioned at the end of February. This is good and bad. I am so glad that we have been able to live here, and that we will continue to do so "rent free" for several more months-- what a blessing. On the other had, we have poured so much into this little house, and it seems like such a sad way to leave. Also, my work has started to really pick up, especially in the last month, but I suddenly feel a lot of pressure to make sure that I am earning enough to keep us going as we pay rent and finish paying off the debt. I have been having mild panic attacks about this, but the refrain "Jehovah Jireh, my Provider-- His grace is sufficient for me" has been an encouragement to me lately.

Now, on to the positives! Looking at apartments and tiny houses online has been kind of encouraging! They're not so bad in our price range after all, and we might actually get to live in a safer, sweeter neighborhood. Maybe close to my work, even. Plus, there will be closets! We are ready for something new, and sometimes it's nice to switch homes as a way to mark a distinct new chapter (at least that's how it's been for us, since we have lived in four places in our almost five years of marriage!) I am so excited to think that my practice is getting busy and will soon be a dependable source of income. Things are changing for us, and although some of them are pretty tough, we are ultimately headed in a good direction. Sigh.

2009-09-29T13:42:00.000-07:00

Let's Talk About Mimi...

I know, it's been forever since I have posted. Things have been a little wild around here, but I have been thinking a lot about how Amelia is growing, and I've been wanting to share some things.

After she turned three, we went through a real rough patch. Part of it was the fact that it was summer, and she wasn't in preschool anymore. Amelia and I have very different needs in terms of being with people, and being in public-- she would love to spend every day out and about town, meeting new people and especially eating out everywhere she goes-- not too practical! Jeff is on a year round schedule, so although he has a lot of time off overall, I often felt pretty stuck-- at home trying to keep things reasonable. Amelia had a baseline of miserable and demanding, and I was constantly overwhelmed with the feeling that there is no way in the world that I can possibly meet her needs. I actually started to get sick again, and spent the first half of summer repeatedly visiting my doctor, trying to figure out what was going on.

Then, along came Summer Bible Camp at a church five minutes away. I decided to go for it, and although she was really anxious about the new situation, she ended up loving it. Attendance was low, so she had someone one-on-one with her the entire time. This special person, it turns out, lives walking distance from our house and was looking to do babysitting jobs all summer! She is 17, really down to earth but fun, and charges $4 per hour. We offered her $5, and asked her to come twice a week for three hours. That way, I had more time to work and someone was there to just devote undivided attention to Amelia. It worked out great! And now we have a babysitter that we can actually afford when we need it. She was able to give Amelia something she needed, but that I had just run out of resources for. Whew!

We are into our fourth week of preschool now, and it feels good to be back into a routine. Amelia has had a harder time adjusting this time around, but she is getting there. Something that has become very apparent in the last few months is that she just really doesn't like children. It is really hard and terrifying/ exhausting to spend the day with them, so I can see why she might not feel like going to preschool some days. Her school is wonderful, though, and has been very supportive of her. She basically just shadows one of the classroom aides all day. When other kids are out on the playground, I know I can probably find her inside helping with some kind of task that needs to be done by the teachers. I am glad that she can be socialized in a very orderly, predictable and respectful environment-- otherwise, I don't think preschool would be a good option for us at all.

Something fun about Mimi is that she is an exceptional conversationalist. She is great to take to parties, where grownups often forget proper "getting acquainted" ettiquette. She introduces herself, asks their name, says "Nice to meet you [Name]" and then asks a relevant question, like "Who's mama are you?" or comments on their attire. She loves to hear stories, and has SO many questions about the tale she just heard once you finish. She has also gotten pretty good at telling them. Here's one of my favorites:
Once upon a time, I was standing on the big stool by the oven making pancakes. All of a sudden, I heard a "creeeak." It was the gate opening! And then! I heard a "crackety-crack"-- it was a firework! It came in the door and climbed up on the big stool and hugged me all over until I broke into pieces. And then it helped put me back together and I was OK. The end.
By the way, scary stories are her favorite.

Besides being social and polite and loving narrative, Amelia is very emotionally considerate. Sometimes it is so surprising to me that she is so kind and sensitive. The other day, she was just waking up from her nap, and making her way down the stairs. (She often has a hard time dealing with life when she is coming out of a nap, and isn't always glad to see Jeff, who usually comes home from work around this time.) Jeff peeked around the corner to say hello to her, and she yelled "No! I don't like you!" Jeff was disappointed but understanding, so he just left the room. Amelia came down and snuggled with me a little bit. I told her I loved her, and she returned the sentiment. Then I said, "You know how it makes us feel so good inside when someone says that they like or love us?" She nodded. "How do you think it makes someone feel when we say 'I don't like you?'" "Not good," she said. Then, "I didn't mean to say 'I don't like you.' I meant to say 'no thank you.'" She slid off the couch, ran into the kitchen and apologized to Jeff and told him she was sorry for making him feel bad. She reiterated that she had meant to just say "No thank you." We both got a little teary-eyed that she had done this completely of her own accord, and that she had the maturity to reinterpret her feelings and apologize! She is constantly noticing other peoples' emotional states, and is very concerned. What a sweetheart!
She also is always thanking people for everything. Thank you for helping me with that! Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for having me over to spend time with you. She will often thank someone again for something that happened weeks or months ago.

In the last few weeks, I feel like she has really turned a corner in personal development and independence. Previously, she had an extremely difficult time entertaining herself. She would rather watch someone else do an activity than try it herself. It seemed like she couldn't do anything without someone else engaging her. I consulted with a pediatric naturopath about this, and we did some homeopathic remedies for her temperament. I think this really helped her make the shift. I have also had her get some bodywork, and it seems like she has just broken through some barrier in her development. We have been noticing lately that she is getting very creative about finding things to do, and is playing all the time. Hurray! I didn't know if she'd EVER figure out how to play! She is happier and more independent and I can tell this has really helped her confidence.

Amelia loves to talk on the phone, and remembers everyone. If you ever want to have a conversation with this little girl, please call us! I'll show her a picture of you, and she'll take it from there with lots of questions about what you're doing, eating and wearing. Isn't she great?

2009-08-19T22:21:00.000-07:00

Beach Day!

Celebrating this guy.

And indulging this girl...

And letting me play...

2009-08-17T08:22:00.000-07:00

Where We're at With Summer's End

Summer isn't exactly over yet, but it does seem to be winding down, and I am beginning to gird myself up for the Long Dreary Season. I have to say, though, Portland does such a wonderful job of providing opportunity to celebrate summer to the fullest, that I feel like I've had a good go of it, and maybe I can welcome Fall a little more easily.

Summer with the Mullins family is all about birthdays. Mine was a week after Amelia's, and it was interesting to turn thirty after she turned three. I had one day of celebration per decade! On the day before, we had a wonderful breakfast downtown and did a little shopping with some money for clothes I received. After I got home and was about to go to work, I found out that I must be allergic to crab-- I was violently ill for the next few hours, and will probably still turn green if anyone says "Dungeness Crab Benedict" to me again. Oh, well-- at least it wasn't my real birthday yet! The next day, we finally took a trip to the coast. I love the beach have had this ache in my soul to be near the water, and I still can't figure out why it took us two years to drive the two hours to get there. That was a lot of fun, and it was super exciting for Amelia to see the ocean for the first time. She was shivering and purple, and but still wanted to go in the water, look for seaweed and "make a sandyman." (I guess castles aren't really her thing.)
And, finally, I had a birthday party. Joy hosted, and it was out our house. We had about ten ladies over for some great food and drinks outside, and it was a lot of fun. Birthday parties don't happen every year for grownups, and it was a lot of fun to do it up a little for a big number like 30.
And we're not done yet--Jeff's birthday is on Wednesday, and we will got to the beach again for his big day. Then, we're having some friends over on Friday for a special dinner for him-- fun week!

What else?.... Well, it seems like things have changed a lot since the very beginning of summer, when we were hoping to get the heck out of here and go to Italy for a couple of years. One major high point is that my business is beginning to pick up and (hopefully) take off. I have been transitioning out of doing a lot of deep tissue and more orthopedic work, into more cranio-sacral therapy and helping people through emotional issues being held within the body. I wasn't sure how to make the change, exactly, but it is happening! I keep getting referrals for CST, and I love the work I am doing. It has been incredibly fulfilling for me, as well as energizing. I have also been devoting a lot of time to the business end of things, and although I don't enjoy that much, I have slowly been making some important headway. Hopefully I can direct you to a website soon!
Another positive for me is that I've begun hosting monthly "Ladies Nights." OK, so I've only had two, including my birthday party, but so far, so good and we have another one coming up here in two weeks. It has been a very very long time since I have been able to spend much time with other women, and I am so happy to also help make it happen for them as well. On a similar note, I have developed a couple of significant friendships with other female massage therapists who are seeking to help other women heal from emotional issues. It has been so wonderful and encouraging for me to find other people to talk to that share the same heart in their work, and of course wonderful too to be able to trade bodywork with them!

Although we have had a lot of fun things to do all summer, Amelia has really been missing preschool. (Me too!) Her social needs are much too great for me to meet, and it's incredibly inconvenient that she just doesn't like kids. She is used to adults and (understandably) prefers them, so even going to the park can be a big dud, since she won't play on the equipment if there are other children using it. Her ideal day would involve going from restaurant to store to bakery to grownup gathering.... Not happening! So, she has spent most of the last couple of months seriously disgruntled as we work on playing independently and being reasonably content at home. We are so thankful that her preschool is giving us a very generous financial aid package this year, and J's parents are contributing the rest. She has done so well there, and it is perfect to have a very organized, quiet, predictable setting for her to socialize with other (older) children in. Whew!

All of these items and more add up to a good year to come in Portland. It was looking a little bleak there for a while, and it is amazing how much can change in such a short time. Want to hear something ironic? Jeff was just offered a job in Naples, Italy. Starting in November. It has been rather painful to come to a decision on the offer (and what a generous offer it was!) but we are going to say put for another year or so. Maybe next year we'll go overseas and live out that European dream, but we'd like to really give it another go here, and see what happens. So far, so good!

2009-07-14T14:31:00.000-07:00

Overdue: Amelia's Birthday Party Photos

OK, so this is really late, I know. I shared party pictures on Facebook, but I know there are some yet who haven't seen them. I decided that last year's party was such an easy success that I would just have the exact same one again for her this year. We invited friends for breakfast at the park, and had coffee for all of the grownups while the kids played. It was a lot of fun, and super easy. Maybe we'll do it again next year....
I made the cupcakes, cake, hard boiled eggs and fancy juice and then Joy made some awesome muffins and Amy brought strawberries. We bought some good coffee and called it breakfast. I wish I had a picture here of the lanterns hung up in the trees-- decorations for the birthday girl who was terrified of balloons!

She loves matryoshka dolls, so I put the tiny one from her set on the cake...

Something unique about Amelia is that she LOVES to anticipate an event. So we were talking about her party a month in advance. Every time I asked her what she wanted for her birthday party, she said, "A chocolate cupcake with chocolate frosting and a strawberry on top." I think she enjoyed all of the other aspects of the party too!The little birthday clip and apron were made by her grandma.

Enjoying her sugar high.

2009-06-22T20:27:00.000-07:00

Little Big Girl's Big Day

Today is Amelia's birthday, so we tried to fill it with everything she loves. Firstly, we sang the happy birthday song way more times than I'm willing to admit. Then we went downtown for the morning. Our usual favorite is closed on Mondays, so we had to branch out. I am SO glad we did, because we found another really great restaurant we'd never even heard of! She had sausage and a very fancy fruit bowl for breakfast, and the staff brought out a little pancake with a candle in it. That was a fun way to get things started!

Orange juice was a treat that made her breakfast extra special, and she got to eat leftover fruit and sausage out of a cup for the rest of the morning.

Next, we took a walk around downtown and went to a big toy store to play. Amelia had a great time pushing around a stroller of stuffed animals and playing with the dress-up items. We had a little birthday money for her, and she chose an umbrella and we bought a kazoo.
More walking around town followed, and we stopped in at the Aveda store to cash in a couple of free offers we'd gotten in the mail. She applied lotions and sipped licorice tea, feeling completely indulged. On our way back to the car, we stopped at a food cart that some friends run to say hello and get some vegetable juice-- and of course they gave her a cookie for her birthday.

The highlight of the day was a ride on the Sky Tram that goes up and down the hill to OHSU. She has been talking about it since we first rode on it last fall, and I think it was as exciting as she had remembered. If it had been free, we probably would have taken the trip up and back a couple more times.

It's fun looking down into everyone's backyards.
Such great views of the city. For some reason Amelia LOVES the city. Whenever I ask her what she wants to do, she gets excited and says "Let's go downtown!!"What is that weird little puff of black smoke?

By this time we were all so tired. We came home for a "birthday nap" which she was surprisingly enthusiastic about. Then we shopped with some birthday money at Target for a watering can and some clothes for her.

We had a nice picnic dinner and ate the last of her birthday party cupcakes (birthday party pictures coming soon.) We have one of those wooden birthday rings, so we lit the candles and talked about how she is growing up and what is so exciting about being three years old. She's finally in bed, and we're ALL birthdayed out. It was so fun to devote a day to doing things she loves-- it's such a great way to celebrate who she is and how she brightens up our lives. Happy Three!

2009-06-18T16:54:00.000-07:00

Portland, Take Two....

So, we didn't get either of the overseas jobs Jeff had applied for. The Sicily position had been given to an incumbent transferring from Turkey, and Jeff's application was submitted to Germany too late in their interview process. I am obviously disappointed, but still glad to just know what we'll be doing this Fall. When we got the news about the Sicily position, we consoled ourselves by going out for some cheap, lousy Italian food. We made a list of things we might be able to look forward to about staying here:
1. Really getting my business going (for real this time.)
2. All of the time off that Jeff's current job gives him throughout the year.
3. Amelia's preschool-- they also made us a very generous financial aid offer this year!
4. Getting out of our house and being free of a mortgage and home ownership burdens for a while.
5. Renting in a neighborhood that is better than our current one-- where I might actually feel good about going for a walk!
6. Current relationships-- especially family, and Jeff's work friends.
7. Finding a church community (again, for real this time.)

In the last couple of years, I have found the process of trying to make friends, find community, and get involved here stressful and disappointing. I'm kind of pretending that we're new here again, and this time I just don't feel the same pressure to make it happen. Only this time, we DO have a few friends. And I know my way around town. And I have my massage license. And my child is sleeping at night, and has a preschool I feel great about. Let's try this again, and I know it will be better this time around.

The "post script" here is that although we are now mentally back in Portland again, we are still working with the placement agency, for an opportunity to work for them overseas in the future. Apparently, there are positions that become available throughout the year, so we'll keep our ear to the ground for the right opportunity.

2009-06-09T10:25:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year...

I have been thinking a lot about Amelia's third birthday, and am planning to do some posts about her. I know I will enjoy going back to these as she's older to remember what she was like at the start of each new year of her life. To get us started, here is last year's birthday post.

2009-06-03T09:46:00.000-07:00

Oh, the things she says...

Amelia has been cracking me a up a lot lately. Although her non-stop use of the word WHY can be a little crazy-making at times, I have learned to turn the question back to her to find out her explanations of how things work and why.
A: What are you doing?
Me: I'm cleaning.
A: WHY?
Me: Why am I cleaning?
A: Because you like a [high voice] teeny tidy house.
It's true. I do like a teeny tidy house.

We pray with Amelia at dinner, before her nap and at bedtime. It's fun to hear her compose her own prayers now and then, and this was yesterday's naptime creation: "Dear Lord... The Protector, (!?) It was lovely seeing all of my friends at preschool today. Amen."

She has also started composing songs and stories... I need to be sure to write those down.

2009-05-27T10:15:00.000-07:00

And Hold... And Hold....

Jeff had a phone interview with the folks in Sigonella this morning. This was the final interview for the position he has applied for. It was to be at six a.m.-- noon Italy time, so he got up at five to be all fed and fresh for the conversation. When he checked his email, he found that it had been pushed back to seven! Ah, well... He drove to a scenic lookout and hiked around a little while talked. He said it was a conference call with the four members of the medical team he would be working with (PTs, OTs, etc.) and that the connection was a little sketchy. That made the conversation a bit awkward, with little flow to it, but they got by. Jeff said he didn't feel like he really aced or bombed it-- it was all just fine. He found out that there are four other applicants for the position, and that it will be a few weeks before they make their decision. So we wait... and wait... and wait...

It's hard to know what to do in the meantime. Jeff will find out this week whether he will be transferred to another department in his current job, or whether he will lose his job altogether. We're voting for a transfer, of course. Even if we got a DoD job, it would be great to have some employment to fill the gap until we leave. And, of course, if we don't get the job we want, it would obviously be nice for him to still have one. Naturally, I don't feel like investing a whole lot anywhere right now. I'm unmotivated to do much for my business, to work hard at relationships at Amelia's preschool... We decided not to continue at the church we had been attending for over a year, but are not sure it's worth it to find a new one at this point. We have no idea what we'll be doing in a couple of months. My mother-in-law reminded me that this is actually true for everyone, all the time-- but that we like to think we know what is happening or where are lives are headed. On the one hand, I feel all giddy with excitement and possibility. On the other, I just want to know what to do. I am someone who loves moving forward and making progress. Now I am having to just sit and wait and enjoy the sunshine, and not be terribly productive. Of course it's a good discipline for someone like me, but it's HARD.

Just a note-- if Jeff doesn't get the position in Italy, we will apply for the one in Germany. The suspense is killing me.

I saw this picture of a tour bus today, and loved it because I totally identified.

2009-05-26T13:51:00.000-07:00

Enough with the sadness, on with the garden report!

We did manage to pull ourselves together yesterday and do some yard work. We decided that it was very important to have a day this weekend (Jeff had four days off) that actually counted for something, so we set to it and even overdid it a bit.

I have to say that my gardening this year has been a bit half-hearted. For one thing, we worked really hard last year and spent a fair amount of money-- with poor harvest results. This was due in part to the lousy weather, with no substantial sunshine until mid-June, and also lack of experience in the Northwest. The other reason is that we don't plan to be living here much longer. Even if we don't move overseas, we plan to quit being homeowners--and regress a bit to renting and saving money. I guess I could write a whole post about that, but I don't feel like it. So anyway, it all feels a bit temporary and that automatically takes some of the gusto out of it. On the other hand, I don't have to think too hard about any choices I make, so I have decided to just have fun playing in the dirt, and whatever I get to pick and eat is a bonus.

One garden project I'm excited about is our potato box. We are doing something like this, where you build a box gradually as the potatoes grow and then you can harvest them progressively by taking the boards off of the bottom to get the bigger ones, and move up as the higher ones are the right size. I still need to start another one, and have a bag of blue potatoes that will go in there. Pictured are the eager shoots of yukon gold and baby reds-- it's almost time to add another layer.

Last year we didn't do any raised beds, and the sunniest spot in our yard was in "detox," since part of it was previously a parking spot. We planted some detoxifying plants and did some intensive treatments to help it along. Now we are putting some raised beds there, with a barrier in the bottom to keep roots in the more controlled environment of the box for a while longer. I am excited about the bean teepee, and have also planted zuchinni and watermelon along the sides to spill over onto the rest of the detoxifying plot. One more note, we have a lot of donated/ collected wood that all came to us for free to help with the chicken coop, so all of these boxes and things have not cost us a dime!

Many of the items planted last year that were disappointing in yield still produced plenty of seeds. For example we now have probably fifty fennel seedlings doing very nicely, and parsley starts scattered all over the garden. I recently planted a lot of the dill seeds I had collected last year, too. I'm happy to have these all growing with little effort and no expense. Also, the strawberry patch is going crazy, so I have high hopes in that department. Here's some of that young feathery fennel.
I'm having fun using a bunch of long sticks we have for some reason, and built a pup-tent-like trellis for cucumbers. We have some other trellisses here and there from wood cut from trees in our yard.Which brings us to the peas. They have been planted in three different plots, and we are now starting to pick them! I have been looking forward to having something available for Amelia to eat straight from the plants in the garden.Also coming along are the spring onions, lettuces and some herbs.

This year, we will actually have a little fruit from our own trees. I'm especially excited about our espallier- style apple tree grafted with four different varieties. Its branches are fully loaded with these little cuties:We also have a fig tree. I have a soft spot in my heart for fig trees, since my aunt in Whittier always had this little one in her yard that we played on and ate from. Also because the taste and texture of fresh figs is so wonderful!And we have a cherry tree with nine cherries growing. We'll try not to eat them all at once!

We have more work to do, with an empty raised bed and a freshly cleared garden bed. I have put a lot of various seeds in the ground this week, and am waiting to see what comes up. So far, radishes and dill. I'm hoping for more greens, but we do have broccoli and a few other little things growing nicely. I know this has been quite long, so thanks for sticking with me!

2009-05-24T21:50:00.000-07:00

Sad times for the Mullins family...

OK, so it's not that bad, but still fairly lame. I picked up a virus two weeks ago that really knocked me out. Then once I started feeling just a little better, Amelia started getting sick. Last weekend I powered through a massage course and then played nurse to Amelia. She got very sick. One night in particular, she had a really high fever (I couldn't find the thermometer to quantify, but it was probably about 105) and was actually hallucinating. I don't like to give her tylenol routinely, but even after a dose her fever didn't go down for several hours. She's been staying home from school since Wednesday and is still not feeling so hot.

I started getting sick again Friday, and by the night time had a raging earache. I have had an ear infection or two in the past, but the level of pain in this one was off the charts. We ended up going to the ER that night since I just couldn't stop crying --I like to think I have a high pain tolerance, but this certainly brought me to my knees. At the ER they said they found an angry eardrum and said they couldn't do much for me at the moment-- decongestant, antibiotics, and, after I asked, pain meds. By this time it was 12:30 a.m., and we had to get the prescription filled. Luck would have it that the pharmacy we went to was running behind and we had a 40 minute wait before the Rx could be filled. My awesome neighbor friend had come over with her baby to stay at our place so Amelia could sleep while we were gone, so Jeff brought me home to relieve her, then went out to get the meds. Those helped me relax, but didn't really take care of the pain, so I didn't sleep that night. Then, I had a reaction to the pain pills that resulted in some episodes of vomitting in the morning-- perfect! I started taking a good dose of Advil and finally had the presence of mind to do a hot compress, which made the pain more manageable.

My naturopathic doctor is wonderful, and had an appt. available for me at noon. When she looked in my ear, she just kept saying "Oh dear. Oh no. Oh dear." When pressed for more descriptors, she said that I have something like a strep infection on my eardrum, that it had lots of little blisters all over it. I looked up the name of the condition and it was described as "exquisitely painful." Yes. Also something called glue ear-- fluid stuck behind my eardrum, kind of holding the eardrum back there-- not especially painful, but it makes it feel and sound like my ear is plugged, and can take a long time to resolve. She was very sympathetic and helpful, and had some good recommendations. I actually spent an hour and a half with her!

So, that was yesterday. Since then, the pain has gotten much better. And now Jeff is coughing. Amelia is still recovering, I am trying to catch up on sleep and kick this thing. We're a fun group to be around! In general, we don't catch a lot of colds and viruses. Amelia has never had an ear infection and is rarely sick. But it seems like we get all the crazy stuff-- Amelia was only sick twice last year, and both times it was with hand, foot and mouth disease. Last fall we went to the ER for Jeff. And I have stuff happen like this and broken-ribs-from-coughing-with-pneumonia-while-pregnant. Come on! At least we've had a long weekend to be miserable in, and I'm hoping for a more normal week ahead. I guess all of those projects I had planned out will just have to wait. And maybe we'll even be able to see people in a week or two...

2009-05-13T13:03:00.000-07:00

Opportunities

As stressful as a job loss and new time of transition can be, I have been thinking a lot lately of the unique gift the unknown brings. We are at a crossroads again, and we have another chance to stop and ask ourselves what we want. To rehash or rearrange our priorities. To dream a little. While Jeff genuinely loved his job, it wasn't quite enough for us financially, and though I have been thankful to have a husband that works full time, I still want to be able to work and share the parenting a little more equally. As we look around, we are coming up with new ideas and some things that were merely on the radar two years ago have now become quite important. I have given Portland a good go, and am not too attached to living here at this point. My business is not in a place that I would lose much if we moved somewhere. And if we stay here, we have some ideas of possibilities we might still take advantage of. We are open.

One opportunity that has come up is the possibility of Jeff taking a job working for the Department of Defense, on a military base overseas. The pay and benefits would meet our needs, and I have been hankering for a good adventure. We are looking at two possible locations, one in Germany and one in Sicily. So far, I have been afraid to hope too much. When this possibility came up, I had absolutely no hesitation-- this is the perfect time to pack up and go. Of course, Sicily seems too dreamy to be real, with all of that ocean and sunshine and citrus fruits, the blend of Italian, Greek and Tunisian cultures (and the food!!)... Jeff is deep in the application process, and so far it is all looking positive. Still, I am afraid to hope too much-- I want to be content with staying here. Although I don't feel like we have built much here in the last two years (despite much effort,) and am feeling a bit discouraged in that regard. I'll keep you posted on the application process. In the meantime, you praying types can keep us in mind as we seek direction for our family and ask for contentment-- no matter where we land.

2009-05-07T15:17:00.000-07:00

Our Family's Favorite Dinner

At least once a week, we are all very happy with what's on our dinner table. The meal feels elaborate but really was not too much work. Lots of options and colors, and we actually leave the table feeling full. It's Zataar Chicken Night! The zaatar chicken and rice are really good, but it's mostly all of the accompaniments that makes the meal so satisfying. There are so many options for what you can put out with this Middle Eastern meal: pickles or chutneys, hummus and tahini sauce, feta cheese and fresh herbs, any kind of simple vegetable, dolmas, babaganoush... My favorite is a simple herbal green salad.
This time the extras were hummus, tahini sauce, carrot-ginger pickle, and red cabbage saurkraut with dill seeds.

To make Zataar Chicken:
In a medium-sized pot, pile onions cut into thin wedges, frozen boneless chicken pieces (I use thighs,) a good chunk of butter, lots of lemon juice or sliced preserved lemons, zataar spice mixture (available at World Market or Middle Eastern grocers-- probably La Habra Ranch Market) and some water or chicken stock to keep it from going dry. Simmer on medium- low heat for 1/2 an hour or longer until the meat is easily shredded, then season with more salt, if needed.
OK, so the actual chicken dish is not very photogenic-- that is a big reason for the colorful sides!

I usually serve it with rice or quinoa to which I have added a spoonful of bacon grease, cubes of cilantro that you buy at TJ's and a squeeze of lemon-- while it's cooking. And of course you can't go wrong with steamed greens drizzled with tahini sauce.

I enjoy making homemade pickles and preserves and usually use formulas from the Nourishing Traditions cookbook. I also recently made quick radish pickles from this recipe. Amelia loves them, and even likes to drink the juice out of the dish when they're gone!
What about you? What is your family happy to eat again and again?

2009-04-28T11:30:00.000-07:00

You knew it was coming... I now present to you:
The Silver Lining

Well, the Terrible Leaking Pipe Problem is finally over with. It took about a week, and although I still haven't put everything away, our kitchen is 100% functional and a little 'purdier' than when we started.
Since our cabinets were all rotted and mildewy, we had to get rid of them. Instead of putting in more cabinets, I had the chance to do something I'd always thought about: putting our butcher block countertop on turned legs, making it look more like piece of furniture.
It was a bit of an ordeal to find what we needed, but we ended up screwing two legs together for the right height. I found a duvet cover for $10 at IKEA, and cut that up and turned it into curtains. I hope to find the right racks tonight for storage underneath. By the way, the whole fiasco ended up costing us much less than I had feared, and helped support some qualified neighbors who are currently out of work and thrilled to help.
I want to thank you all for all of your nice comments and support. The encouragement, empathy and prayers really did make me feel better throughout the whole lame ordeal. In fact, I had been wanting to do this part of the project anyway, and the upside was that I was forced into going for it. I'd like to put it out there that, should another unfortunate event such as this one happen again, forcing us into home improvements that we would otherwise never consider due to our precarious financial situation, please let it be the bathroom.

2009-04-24T10:49:00.000-07:00

Make or Buy?

I know most of us are trying to economize on everything, especially groceries. I found a good article online about which pantry staples are actually cheaper to make, which ones we save money (not to mention the time!) on by buying instead.

2009-04-20T15:34:00.000-07:00

Aaack!

I had been smelling mildew for a while. We couldn't find the leak, but knew it was affecting the insides of our cupboards. It got worse and worse, and started making me sick. Today is the day that someone came to take our cupboards out, dig into the wall and find the leaking pipe. It was not good, not good at all. Lots of mold and rot and bad news. I hope to have a kitchen sink back by the end of the week, water in our house by tonight. Here's a picture of where we stand:
Needless to say, I won't be cooking dinner tonight. On top of the other news, this all just feels like a bit too much for me today.

2009-04-18T10:19:00.000-07:00

Here we go again...

Well, it was two years ago that we were living in California, looking for a job for Jeff in Oregon or Washington. We knew we'd be moving in the summer, but had no idea where. Many trips later, we packed up and moved, and Jeff finally had a job that he really loved. It has been a good two years for him, and we see that job as a big gift for our family. We got news this week that Jeff (along with many others) is going to be laid off in the next month or so.

So, here we are again, looking for a job for Jeff. Right now our financial situation is the most difficult it has been in our married life (although not terrible,) so there are a lot of unknowns for our family. I'm not super upset or anything-- it's just one of those situations where I feel very intrigued about what the future will hold, and how all the puzzles will be solved. His current job wasn't quite paying the bills, and my work situation has had many setbacks. We are still taking a loss on my business, but that is not unexpected, and I feel like I have a strong vision for where things will go. I am doing a lot of trainings this summer, and know that there is a strong need for the type of work I'll be doing-- but I certainly don't have any idea when it will begin to provide a steady income.

We're expecting a bit of a rough road ahead for the next few months as we try to navigate through this transition. Jeff feels a real sense of loss over his "dream job" and the wonderful people he has been working with. We were surprised to find ourselves the first people in our circle of friends and family to be in this situation, but are thankful to have some family around us for support. Of course, being the optimist that I am, I am imagining that Jeff could actually find a better job that will actually cover our living costs and be a blessing to us. We know that God will take care of all our needs, and are working hard to quell the anxiety that wants to win over the sense of peace and trust we have in our hearts. Of course, your prayers and thoughts would be appreciated as we launch into job search mode again.

2009-04-16T11:28:00.000-07:00

Easter

I'm a little late on reporting about our Easter Sunday, but I actually took pictures, so there's no way I can skip posting about it.

On Saturday I got some time alone and went to the farmer's market in downtown. I was so glad that I was by myself, since it was incredibly crowded. I spent a lot of time standing still in the middle of a swarm of people waiting for someone to move so I could edge a little closer to a produce stall. Still, it was a lot of fun, and of course such a treat to get a cup of coffee and sample hazelnuts, fresh breads, chocolates and fruit. The interesting thing was that many of the hot items there were things that grow in our fairly uncultivated yard: branches of flowering quince and pear blossoms, miner's lettuce, daffodils, tips of flowering cabbage (it was nice to see that I can still use those!), pea tendrils, etc. I came away with fresh leeks, dried wild mushrooms, a variety of greens, local honey, and a gorgeous bouquet of tulips.

On Sunday morning, we got up early for a "sunrise service" at Mt. Tabor park. The emphasis was less on sunrise and more on keeping dry in the rain and mud. It was a small gathering, which was really nice. Amelia did her best to curb her natural instinct to entertain the circle of grownups around her while we prayed and sang and read. It was sweet to celebrate Christ's resurrection at the very beginning of our day, and carry that with us throughout the other parts.

We invited Jeff's sister's family over for brunch on Sunday, and I finally had a good excuse to make a quiche-- Jeff and A don't eat dairy, and A doesn't eat eggs, meanwhile, I love quiche and omelets. I went to several different stores to find a pretty ceramic pie dish, since I had given mine away. I wasted most of the afternoon on that fruitless search, but ended up using a spring form cake pan instead. It turned out looking so beautiful, I don't know if there's really a good reason to make one any other way now! Anyway, I used the leeks, mushrooms and greens from the market, and have been enjoying the leftovers heated in the oven for breakfast all week. I also made this Czech Easter Bread, and although it was very fancy, the recipe had a lot of holes in it that I had to make up for and it turned out tasty but not as beautiful as I'd hoped. Jeff's sister brought a giant spiral cut ham and some fruit salad and the seven us put a tiny dent in the food we set out. No worries though, we have been enjoying our share of the ham every day since then, and I have plans for a big pot of split pea soup.

The egg hunt was a simple affair with dyed eggs and a few odds and ends. In the future I think I'll try to always have at least three kids involved, it's just too hard not to compete and compare when there's only one other person. At the end, it was hard to get a happy picture of both of the cousins, but we know they had a great time, all told!

This is Amelia saying "Happy Easter!" Since Sunday, it has been nice to be greeted occasionally by her with "He is risen! He is risen indeed!" Indeed. How wonderful.

2009-04-06T19:40:00.000-07:00

Who told you about that?

Amelia has been walking around rubbing a spoon on her face. "I'm shaving. I need to get all smooth for night-night time."

2009-04-05T16:32:00.000-07:00

Taadaa!
(Alternate title: From "Yuck!" to "Wow!")

Of course I can't show you our new paint job until you fully appreciate how awful our house has been looking since we moved in. I also chose a photo with extreme weather contrast to today's glorious climate.

Seriously, who chooses peach and gray? Who?!

As most of you know, we had our house painted by the city of Portland, thanks to their lead paint abatement program. How wonderful! We just had to paint our doors and porches, they took care of the rest!

Aah, much better!

I wasn't really into bright colors when I lived in California. Somehow, enduring two long, gray winters here has completely changed that! When the weather allows, we eat most of our meals outside. Now we have a nice view!

2009-03-22T15:19:00.001-07:00

Health Update
The Verdict: Sleep it Off!

I recently did another Adrenal Stress Index (ASI) test, to check my cortisol levels and see how they compared to those in my original labs. Unfortunately, the results were very troubling-- it came back worse than the first. Of course, this was incredibly discouraging. Before letting me get too panicky about it, my naturopath followed it up with a blood test to see if those lousy results would be confirmed. Fortunately, the cortisol level in that test came back completely differently.

Without going into a big biology lesson, I will try to briefly explain what this means. As I have mentioned before, cortisol is the stress hormone, and chronic high levels can be very damaging. However, we need a certain amount of cortisol in our tissues in order to have energy to do normal stuff every day. The ASI test I took indicated that I have very little cortisol in my tissues (close to none)-- which is obviously why I feel so lousy. On the other hand the cortisol in my blood test was actually high. What this translates to is that I always feel quite keyed up like I need to run from a bear, but I don't actually have the energy to do much. The important issue now is to get the adrenaline out of my blood and into my tissues-- which would help me feel more calm and energetic.

My ND consulted with with some other doctors about this unusual situation, and the first thing that came up was my quality and quantity of sleep-- both of which have been poor. Apparently, that is the missing link for getting the cortisol where it belongs. I was so excited when she told me that I would have to start taking Benadryl on nights when I am unable to sleep. This is seriously awesome news for me, something I have been fantasizing about-- just knocking myself out until I'm all rested up! Other parts of the ASI showed improvements in my hormone production and immunity, so once I can get enough rest I should be in pretty good shape.

The other good news is that I am no longer on exercise restriction. In fact, the other part of the cure for high levels of cortisol in the bloodstream is exercise. I am very very happy about this, since exercise has always been a key stress management tool for me. Plus, all of this sitting around resting and trying to eat more has inevitably led to some extra weight I am looking forward to working off.

It's been a bit of a roller coaster in the last month with all of this stuff, but I am so encouraged overall. Leaving the Dr.'s office with orders to sleep and exercise made me cry with relief most of the way home. Especially since I was afraid that the news was going to be much worse!

2009-03-09T14:27:00.000-07:00

Portland Daily Weather Checklist:

Giant Snowflakes.... Check!
Pileup of Hailstones... Check!
Rain, Rain, Rain... Check...
Beautiful Blue Skies.... Check!
Sleet... Check.
Mystery and suspense... Check and check!

2009-03-08T16:22:00.000-07:00

The Sweetest Papa Ever...

I came home from the grocery store to a real tea party, complete with crackers, hot tea, guests and music (Amelia chose Emmylou Harris.)

The guests of honor were not dolls or animals, but letters. This is a kid who loves to read! I have a feeling that cow was really hoping to be invited, but trying not to mtake it personally.

Amelia has a special Chinese tea set that she got for Christmas from her "Tita," my dear friend Dorothy.

When all of the roiboos tea had been sipped, they closed the festivities with a reading of some A.A. Milne poetry, and thanked their guests for attending.

2009-03-06T15:36:00.000-08:00

Let me just say...

That I was indescribably relieved to check the mail and find a contract renewal for Jeff's job for the 2009- 2010 school year. If you remember, he missed the pink slips by two people last year-- it is always a bit dicey when your employer makes these decisions not based on merit, but on seniority-- and Jeff is the relative newbie. Whew!

2009-03-01T10:51:00.000-08:00

Making up for a lack of pictures....

I think we may be getting to an age where I can get some reasonable pictures of Amelia-- especially now that she "gets" what I'm doing and realizes that she may have something cute to look at later if she cooperates. "Smile" still doesn't really work, but "Show me your teeth!" does!

Yesterday we went downtown for a long walk. This papier mache horse was a fun discovery! Then we almost knocked it over onto the fancy car in the background.
This one does really look like she's just showing us her teeth. She has a really interesting bite that will hopefully not end up being too expensive down the road. In the meantime, I love the big spaces between her teeth and this is just as good as a smile!

2009-02-26T13:45:00.000-08:00

A Parenting Reflection

Yesterday, Amelia's classroom was visited by "Uncle Steve" and his collection of reptiles. There were snakes, chameleons and some other reptiles. One of the snakes was 10 ft. long. Amelia was pretty scared, and was held by a grown up the whole time, but couldn't stop talking about all of the animals and Uncle Steve all the way home. She also talked to Papa all about it at dinner, describing the snakes and chameleon and telling us what Uncle Steve said to her: "It's alright, it's alright, it's alright. Don't be scared, don't be scared." She had a happy afternoon and evening, and then trotted off to bed.

I was very happy to see Amelia so cheerful and my biggest goal for the day was to get to bed at 9:00-- I've been sick for a while, and sleep hasn't been as good as it should be. So when Mimi started crying after a little while, Jeff and I both got a little tense. Jeff went up there and comforted her, then came back downstairs. She started crying again, so it was my turn. She was complaining about the noises she heard in her room, and kept saying that she was having a hard time. I talked about our noisy world and laid down with her for a long time. She was OK when I left, but began crying five minutes later. I was so tired and beginning to feel frustrated-- and trying to brace myself for a very long night. Then I remembered about the "creature feature" at school, and that it had been scary for her, even though she had seemed fine for the rest of the day.

I realized that there were probably some genuine fears that needed to be addressed. This time Jeff went upstairs, and instead of trying to get her back to sleep, he got her up and talked about the snakes and "Uncle Steve." It came out that she didn't know where the snakes were now, that maybe they were somehow in her room. She and Jeff talked about where they were kept, and he assured her that they were in a box at Uncle Steve's house now. After that, she went right to sleep. She woke up once, crying and saying that she was scared, but was easily soothed and slept all night after that.

It's easy for me to slip into thinking my child is just being difficult, for no good reason. Of course, this attitude doesn't work for either of us. I am always glad when I stop and try to see things from her point of view and have real compassion. When I imagine what she is thinking or feeling, I can't feel very frustrated with her for her behavior. It is not easy being a toddler, as cushy as the job description may look! It must be so confusing and frightening to not have a full understanding of how the world works. She had just been introduced to all of these weird creatures-- if they can get into her classroom, what is keeping them out of her dark room at night? It felt so good last night to be successful in our attempts to help her through the experience, to give her some assurance and closure about her fears. I am reminded to keep her perspective in mind, and to just try to understand her when I feel frustrated. I needed that.

2009-02-24T14:26:00.000-08:00

Work Update.

I have been thinking a lot about my work, but not saying much....

First of all, I haven't been working-- at all! Before Christmas, my studio space flooded. There was way too much snow piled up on a flat roof, and as it all began melting, water started running down the back walls like a waterfall. Fortunately, all of the damage was covered by insurance, but that also means that it needed to be fixed through the insurance company's process. That is to say, It's. Still. Not. Fixed. I have been given several dates by which I should be back in business, but none of those have happened. I'm hoping for next week.

There is a silver lining, although even that has both good and bad news. The good news is that I have not been paying rent. The bad news is that this is really good since I haven't had many calls in the new year. At first, I thought maybe I was just getting a little break and would have a month off in which I was not really losing any money. Now that it has stretched into almost three months and there is still little interest, I am getting nervous-- but still thankful that I am not paying rent!

I have used some of the free time to get started on the beauracracy of getting onto some insurance panels-- a long process! I don't really want to get work through insurance companies, since they really control a lot of what you do, but I realize that with "the economy" and all, many people can no longer afford bodywork unless it is covered by insurance-- I'm just giving myself one more option for getting enough work.

Another positive here is that I have had a lot of opportunity to just think about the type of massage practice I'd like to have. In the past, most of my work has been deep tissue, orthopedic body work that is rather taxing for me. I have had a lot of success with this and really enjoy the problem solving aspects and the more dramatic changes in a person's pain levels or range of motion. On the other hand, I don't feel like this type of work is very sustainable for my body, and I have found much gentler therapies that really work, and that I really enjoy using.

Beyond the physical aspect of the work, I would like to shift my focus from the purely physiological effects of massage more to the psychological/ emotional component that certain types of massage address. More specifically, I would like to specialize in women's health. I recently took a course on abdominal/pelvic massage which opened up so many new ideas for me. I think that this is a really important time in history for women. Not so much in terms of equality or achievement, but in the way we are talking about our experiences in life as women. Ladies are sharing with one another about what it's like to have a miscarriage, to struggle with not being able to concieve a baby, about disappointment with motherhood. Women are becoming empowered to leave abusive relationships, are actively pursuing healing from sexual abuse they suffered as children (many of these women are in their 50's-- they have waited this long!) and others are openly seeking support for traumatic experiences related to their gender and or sexuality. This is really exciting!

I have touched on this subject before, but an important part of working with someone's body is the acknowledgment that our emotions/ thoughts have a direct impact on our tissues. Emotions are chemicals that, when they are unable to be released, are stored within our bodies and manifest in aches, pains and disease. Likewise, when problematic areas are worked on, emotions can be released. Bodywork cannot heal the experiences, but it can help a person work through them-- even if the emotional damage happened a long time ago. I love the idea of being able to work on areas of the body that are specific to our experience as women-- namely, the uterus and pelvis. So much of what we believe about ourselves as women can affect our bodies on a cellular level--in the same way that when our bodies malfunction it can affect us on a mental/ emotional level. I am thinking in particular of women who struggle with infertility, or those who were unable to deliver their children the "natural" way and had caesarean births or even struggled with being able to breastfeed (I raise my hand on all counts.) These "failures," and so many others, while easily rationalized on a physical level, have a serious affect on our psyches and our experiences as women. And of course these feelings find their way right back into our bodies!

I am feeling so much excitement about this new direction. I have realized that much of my body's own healing process involves resolution of emotional issues, and I have been able to get some of that work done on myself (and I will continue to do so.) As a side note, after I took the course on the pelvic work, I left feeling great-- I can hardly exaggerate about the improvement I experienced! Anyway, I plan to use that type of work, along with the cranio-sacral therapy (CST) I already practice, and still incorporating other modalities that I have always used. This year, I plan to take further CST classes, as well as breast massage (it may sound crazy, but there is actually a serious need out there, particularly for women at risk for breast cancer,) somato-emotional release and lympatic drainage. That sounds busy, and I hope it will be. I have waited for such a long time to have my own massage practice. I am a little anxious about the lull here, but thankful to have the opportunity to reevaluate where I am and where want to go with it. Thanks for listening!

All images courtesy of flickr.

2009-02-20T10:54:00.000-08:00

He's Moved!

Just so you know, Jeff moved his blog location. His new home is at mullinizms.blogspot.com.
Go say hello!

2009-02-04T19:23:00.000-08:00

Get Ready for a Total Mommy Blog Post.

After enjoying reading everyone's 25 Things lists, I thought I would make one for Amelia, since most of her relatives really don't know her at all!
25 Random Facts About Mimi

1. She never forgets a face. People are what make her world go round, and her new phrase she uses all day is, "Hi, what's your name? Hello (new name.)"

2. Amelia loves to play in the water, and spends a good amount of time standing on a stool at the bathroom sink. She has always really been soothed by water, especially as a baby.

3. She still has a tiny soft spot. Thankfully, it has been closing up more in the past few months, and hopefully she will have a normally fused head soon.

4. She also has a lazy eye, which wanders off when she needs to think or is overstimulated.

5. Her first favorite food (at 8 months) was salmon.

6. As you can imagine, she is a bit of a snobby eater. Things need to be their optimal temperature, she doesn't like eating the same things more than a couple days in a row, she likes fresh food, etc. She is basically completely spoiled with good fresh food all of the time, and I wish she'd eat leftovers and simple food more!

7. She has food sensitivities to eggs, dairy, corn, soy, tomato, bananas, cantaloupe and honeydew melon. And she knows the list, and will abstain to the best of her ability.

8. Amelia doesn't get spanked or put in time out, but we have lots of conversations and natural consequences.

9. Since she turned two, she has developed a lot of fears/ phobias. A few of them are balls, balloons, flies, dogs, motorcycles, and wind-up toys.

10. For the first time in her life, Amelia has started sleeping like a normal kid, only waking up once or twice (and sometimes not at all!) and getting up to 12 hours each night! Everyone go knock on some wood for us right now!

11. She laughs very easily and has always been a fan of physical humor.

12. She loses her balance when she's really excited or laughing hard, and will just crumple to the floor. Hopefully, she is not running when she's overwrought with glee, because she can trip pretty badly that way.

13. It doesn't get much better than going to the library.

14. When asked her name, she usually says "Meow." She also says this when I am trying to tell her something she doesn't want to hear. OOH, Sassy!

15. Her favorite people in the world (besides her parents) are her Grandma and Grampy.

16. Mimi is very affectionate and cuddly. I love it!

17. She does not display first-born characteristics at all. She loves having older children take care of her at preschool, and seems somewhat threatened by 1 1/2 year olds. She'd probably rather have an older sibling than a new baby in the family.

18. She has a surprising grasp of the English language. She improvises easily, saying things like, This tape around my finger is kind of bandaid-y. Amelia recently used the word 'actually' very nicely-- Mama, can I have some cold water? I just gave you some cold water in your cup. Actually, this water is warm.

19. She loves pink and purple, jewelry, ballerinas and butterflies. I guess some girls are just born really really girly like that.

20. She loves to sing. She loves hearing other people sing, and makes up her own songs throughout the day. She can also sing the first verse of Come Thou Fount.

21. Her superpower is exceptional hearing. She hears EVERYTHING we say, even if she is upstairs playing and we are talking in low voices downstairs. We have to be careful what we say, because she seems to remember every word.

22. She loves music and wants to know what everything she is hearing is called. She can also pick out certain instruments while she is listening. Her favorite artists are Frou Frou, Emmylou Harris, Claire Holley, Fernando Ortega, Bright Eyes and also Bhangra music. Her favorite instrument is the violin, since that's what her Papa plays.

23. Amelia loves taking medicine-- herbs, vitamins, cold medicine, cod liver oil, homeopathic remedies-- anything!

24. She has some sensory integration issues that make busy, noisy, crowded social situations very difficult.

25. Amelia is a total sweetheart, a kid that is very good company and fun to spend time with. My favorite thing to do with her is go out to breakfast and just sit across the table from her and talk about things. She loves having "combersations" about shapes, colors, preschool and people she knows.
OK , not such a great picture, but we've been neglectful with the camera, and it seemed like there should be something here.

2009-01-28T12:35:00.000-08:00

Reader Survey

Everyone seems to be talking about what they no longer spend money on, or how they are cutting back. Yet I know that, no matter how tight our finances are, there are certain things we choose to spend money on-- whether for luxury, idealism, or just-can't-live-without-it-ness. I'm really curious what these items are for other people.

So, what do you spend money on?

I'll go first. I buy fancy dish soap. It costs at least twice as much as the regular stuff, but it looks nice, smells nice, is easy on the skin and environment, and therefore improves my quality of life-- we don't have a dishwasher and so we spend a significant amount of time standing there washing dishes, smelling the soap. It's completely worth the extra $5 every 2-3 months.

On the more principled end of things, I buy nicer jewelry and shoes. This doesn't mean that I actually spend more money than most people altogether on these things. I have been known to save for two years, without having a watch to wear, in favor of buying the one I really wanted. Same with a pair of $100 earrings-- I just didn't buy any other jewelry that year (by the way, these would be next on my list.) I don't own many pairs of shoes, but almost all of them cost over $100. There is something very essential to me about having really good shoes that hold up and are comfortable but of course, stylish. And no buyer's remorse.... The other thing is that if I do happen to decide that I don't want to own something anymore, it still has value-- even after being used-- and I sell it on ebay!

In the can't-live-without category, Jeff and I love to eat out. We have a very small budget for this each month, and about 70% of our meals out are happy hour deals. If you are local, the best happy hour I have ever found is here. Whenever extra money comes our way, our first impulse is to go out to eat! We don't do fast food, and I try not to eat at places that serve food I could easily make at home, so we have to be super choosy about where we go to spend our precious dinner money. We could save good amount of money by never going out to eat, but we just enjoy it way too much to stop.

Addendum: For you Angelinos, our favorite happy hour spots there were Cafe Santorini and Ciudad (this one was actually my favorite restaurant, period)-- you should check them out!

There are so many things that we have to spend money on, but I am so curious what other people like to spend their money on, even when we're feeling some financial strain. Please share!

2009-01-14T15:30:00.000-08:00

"Failure" is the best medicine.

I have spent an embarrassing amount of time today on a blog dedicated to mistakes. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time, and although it may not be funny to everyone out there, I would like to share it in the hopes that at least someone will be as delighted as I am by this nonsense. That is, assuming that I am not the very last person to have found this site.

There were so many great videos to choose from......

2009-01-06T15:09:00.000-08:00

Mullins Family News Headlines:
"Toddler excels in preschool environment, Mother cries herself to sleep."

That pretty much says it all, but I suppose I can elaborate a little. We had a special breakfast for Mimi this morning, and she was SO excited for her big day at preschool. Once we got there, it was hard to get her to give us a hug goodbye, she kept pointing at things saying "I need to go do that right now!" Jeff picked her up this afternoon, and the teacher said she did "fantastic," which is now also Amelia's favorite word for the day. She stuck close by the teachers for the first half, then branched out on her own and made some friends. When I asked her whether the assistant said anything to her today, she spoke in a loud, direct whisper-- "Be quiet!" Somehow it's nice to know I'm not the only one... I greeted her at home with a Big Girl bouquet which she dragged around proudly until nap time.

As for me, I was so proud of Amelia, yet caught off guard by feelings of... devastation? This whole preschool thing has been a giant mixed bag from the beginning. I hadn't ever considered sending her before the age of four, and even then I wasn't sure I wanted her to be away from me at such a young age. Alas, so many of the things that I had imagined for my experience as a mother have turned out otherwise. I had wanted to have another child by now. I had wanted to have plenty of energy to spend on those children. I had wanted to be very healthy, not tired and sick. (See this post for more details.) Things haven't turned out that way, and it's necessary to move on-- but now and then I am blindsided by grief over these losses. In the meantime, Jeff's parents are once again taking care of us in incredible ways, and offered to sponsor her through preschool for a year in order to give me the opportunity to rest and recover, and for Amelia to have some great experiences and become more independent. We are completely pleased with the opportunity. But I still came home and cried a lot. And then I took a nice, long nap-- proving that this is working already!

2009-01-05T20:45:00.000-08:00

A Big Week for Mimi

Today we went and visited Amelia's preschool classroom, and met her teacher. We have been talking about this for months, and her visit to the classroom was, I believe, everything she had hoped for. She spent about an hour with her teacher learning about the different types of "work" she'll be doing in class. Tomorrow she will begin with her regular schedule, four hours per day, four days per week. Of course, I have had all sorts of feelings about this big step. The visit today really helped me feel great about the transition, although I still feel a little anxiety about having her away from me on a regular basis for the first time.

The school she is going to is a Montessori, about fifteen minutes away. We visited several schools, and this one was very different in that Amelia seemed comfortable and excited to be there right away when we visited in October. I love all of the nature in the classroom, the gardening the children do and the huge play area outside. And, of course, the lack of plastic toys and that sort of junk. I am really happy that the classes are mixed in ages, so there will be older children taking Amelia under their wings. Jeff and I both appreciate the Montessori approach, allowing children to self-direct as they learn what interests them most, and having their activities be real-life activities-- thus termed "work." Today Amelia had a blast washing her face with cotton balls and carrying water from the bathroom in a pitcher to wash her hands in the old fashioned way.

Checking out everything in the room with her teacher.

Lately Amelia has had a lot more anxiety about being separated from me, so today's solo session with the teacher was very helpful. I am so excited for her to be able to spend regular time with other children. I never imagined that she would still be an only child at this age, but I am thankful for this option to give her more opportunity to learn to share her space and relate to her peers. As for me, I am a little giddy at the prospect of having four morninga a week to devote to whatever seems like the appropriate priority at the time-- whether it is laundry, a doctor's appt., work, or some extra sleep!

Finding her cubby-- it was really hard to get her to say goodbye and walk away from all of the excitement.

Growing up has been the big theme for Amelia this week. I didn't like the idea of sending her to preschool and then bringing her home to have her nap in a crib. We took it out, and I made a her cool "big kid" sleeping space. It took a little getting used to, but she is super proud of herself and seems to even be sleeping very well in it (this will be the fourth night this week, I may be speaking a little too soon.) I also got rid of her tin plates and other "baby" items. We'll let her keep her sippy cup for a few more weeks.... This is all a bit surreal, but I'm happy for her and am looking forward to this new season for our family. Think of Mimi this week, I'm sure she could use your thoughts and prayers as she takes these growing-up steps this week.

Mimi saying "Preschool!" to the camera.

2008-12-24T14:36:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas, Everyone Everywhere!

Well, we are deep in snow, and it has been a slow week for us. We're going to where my parents are staying this evening for a little Christmas Eve get together. Our sibling plans have been postponed until Friday, since road conditions are not too pretty around here. Our exciting moment of the day was sliding 180 degrees while driving, then shortly after that sliding into a snowdrift that we had to be pulled out of by a big truck. All of this a couple of blocks from our home. Looks like the snow is melting a bit now, though!

Although I didn't do the usual gift-making and card-mailing that is customary around the holidays, it doesn't mean that I love and miss each of you friends and family members any less! We have been taking it easy and enjoying celebrating advent. Each night we have been lighting the advent candles and singing Christmas hymns with Amelia. It has been so special and meaningful, I will be sad when it's over tomorrow. We'll have to come up with some new family rituals to observe through the rest of the year...

Merry Christmas to each of you!

2008-12-11T14:19:00.000-08:00

Four years ago...

We got married and had our very first marital miscommunication-- in front of all of our friends and family! I still get a kick out of this photo sequence.

I am thinking," Really? That whole bite? How am I going to get that down?"
Jeff is going, "Really, you're not just going to take a bite of this? How are you going to get that down?"
Me: I can't believe that whole piece is in my mouth. Right now. In front of everyone.
Jeff: Oink! Oink!

Me: Oh dear. Now what?
Jeff: Yikes!

Me: Be graceful! Be graceful!
Jeff: I think there was a misunderstanding... Sorry.

Both of us: OK, I think the worst is over.

Me: Can everyone see that I am dying to have a child? Am I really going aaah as I put food in my husband's mouth?
Both of us: Phew, we made it past that first hurdle! On with the show!

2008-12-09T14:06:00.000-08:00

An Improvement!

We had this old church nursery type of carpet that made it impossible to clean out dust and old cat pee-type smells in the extra room downstairs. When we pulled it up, of course we were hoping for some decent hardwoods that we could enjoy with some minimal sprucing up. As usual, it was much worse under there than we'd expected. The wood was in terrible shape, and it looked like at some point, someone let their kid go to town on them with a hammer and a bucket of nails. We quickly changed course and pulled the nails, patched the cracks with wood putty, scraped some linoleum up and painted them with porch paint. In spite of that extra work it was a very doable project that cost under $50, and we are loving the difference!

Doggy Amelia models the previous carpet.
You can also see more before pics here.

I love the way white floors (and rug) brighten all of the colors in the room!

2008-11-26T16:18:00.000-08:00

Two Birds... One Stone...
It's our family update/ blessing inventory!

General
I know I keep mentioning it here and there, but the repainting of our house is imminent-- we have chosen a contractor and everything. We still can't believe this is being done for us and can't wait to have the outside of our home lookin' "purdy."

Christmas came early for us this year with a record-breaking show of generosity from J's parents-- we had been without a washer for months, and even when we had one, it was a one unit combo that did a terrible job with lots of noise and rubbery smells and could only take about 1/4 of a regular load at a time. They found a beautiful stacking washer and dryer, complete with warranty for us that actually fits in our cramped space! I never knew laundry appliances could make me feel this way-- it is amazing to have fresh smelling clothes, a quiet laundry day, and to actually have to wash clothes rather infrequently because the loads can be so large! Hurray!

We are thankful to not be visiting churches during the holiday season this year. We are gradually getting to know the people at our church and even had our small group over here for lunch on Sunday. We are so glad to have a church to experience the Advent season with.

Jeff
Work continues to be a positive challenge for Jeff. We are still just so thankful that he has his job and barely missed last year's pink slips. We have become friends with a number of his co-workers and are so pleased and blessed that he works with such wonderful people.

His health has been much better in the last couple of months! He had food allergies tested and has a short and doable list of things to avoid, and so far he has been close to normal-- a huge answer to prayers.

Jeff is currently taking the carpeting out of the spare room downstairs and repairing the sorry-looking wooden floor underneath. This will be a big improvement, and counts as one of my blessings.

Amelia
Amelia is almost 2 1/1 and at a really fun age. I am enjoying letting her help me a lot, or do household tasks independently. She loves washing the dishes with Jeff and today she helped me make cornbread. She often goes "shopping," walking around the house with a cloth sack picking things up to buy. It's also nice to have her cleaning her own messes up!

She is such a good communicator, and it's wonderful to have a whole new level of ability to understand one another. We are working on telling people how we feel, especially instead of screaming or acting out or getting walked on. Jeff and I were amazed the other day when she came up to me and we had this conversation:
A: Mama, I feel frustrated.
Me: You do? Why do you feel frustrated?
A: Because Papa said "NO." (With a very fierce face.)
Jeff was able to come over talk about the safety issue that had prompted this, and she seemed to make peace with the interaction. We couldn't believe we were able to have this little dialogue!

Sleep has certainly continued to be up and down, but she has been taking some serious naps-- a first! It's really been nice.

Here's some exciting news: Amelia will be attending preschool in January! I am so happy for her to be able to spend time with other children and get to go do so many interesting thing several days each week. Of course, there is also the benefit of me having some time freed up for work and rest. More on this later.

Me
I have been pleasantly surprised to have a pretty good amount of business so far. In the second week that I was "open" I filled my five client quota that I had been hoping for. I have had a couple other weeks with that many, and of course a couple of slow ones. Overall, things have picked up more quickly than I had expected. One very exciting tidbit is that my chiropractor, who I have a good relationship with, will be sending me clients for cranio-sacral work. In fact, when anyone calls their very busy wellness center asking about that type of work, they will refer them to me! I have also been getting referrals from the studio I work at. I am very happy and relieved that things are going well, and plan to step up my marketing quite a bit in January.

As winter is coming quickly, I am more thankful than ever for all of the changes we've been able to make to our home over the past year. The glass doors let in so much more light, the colors are cheerful, we are no longer trying to keep white carpet clean in muddy weather, etc. I feel a big difference in how I feel, and think it will be easier to stay positive through the gray and rainy weather ahead.

As far as my health goes, I can honestly say I'm feeling a bit better. This will be a long process, but I have had more energy lately and don't feel as overwhelmed by all that I have to get done on a daily basis. I am very thankful for a good doctor that has done so much to help me through this tricky healing process. I am also thankful to those that have been supportive and helpful, especially my sister-- she has been watching Amelia once a week for me, and was even doing a load of laundry for me each week! Amazing.

I have to be honest that last year was a difficult one for our family, but even so, we have so much to be thankful for. And much of our gratitude is for what has changed for us in the last few months, and what is to come in the year ahead. Our lives are so rich!

2008-11-22T14:09:00.000-08:00

Portland in the Fall.

I confess that last year I was too cold and depressed to really get out and see the city at this time of year, and that pretty much lasted until June when it finally stopped raining. My circumstances and spirits are much improved this year, and I have resolved to get out and do as much as possible this winter. Jeff has a break this week, and we wanted to start it off right with a fun day downtown.

Today was the last day for the Portland farmers market, and they were having some chef demos, music and other fun things happening. Man, it was THE place to be! It was packed with people, and even though it was really big it took a long time to get around. I love that Portland is surrounded by farmland, and there is incredibly fresh produce, beers and wines, cheeses, meats and seafood to choose from for a most of the year. This particular market is located in the park blocks amid PSU, and is really pretty.

I love the fall vegetable vegetable offerings-- everything is pretty funky looking, rather than sleek and shiny as it is in the summer. What we brought home: Jerusalem artichokes, chanterelles, turnips, celeriac, artichokes and a dried flower bouquet.

I am loving all of the fall foliage mixed in with the cement and brick buildings downtown.

After the farmers' market, we walked a ways to Pioneer Square, where they have a gigantic Christmas tree that they are literally trimming up and stringing lights on. Then on Friday they will "trim" it again with the ornaments and such. Amelia is newly aware of Christmas trees, and super excited about getting one. It was fun to go in search of The Giant Christmas Tree.

After we found the tree and checked out some smaller ones around it, the best part for Amelia was chasing all of the pigeons around the square.

It was pretty cold out, but we were so thankful that it never rained, and we actually had some blue skies-- that made the day that much nicer, and Portland that much more lovely!
We rounded out the day with a ride on the MAX light rail within the "free zone" to a cool toy store where we let Amelia get the ants out of her pants. I was pretty proud of us for having such a fun, full day out in the city in November. It may not seem like a stretch for many people, but at this point in my life, it seems very difficult-- yet I was pretty pleased that it was such a successfully enjoyable day and feel motivated to do it again and again this winter.

2008-11-14T10:52:00.000-08:00

A Moroccan Dinner for a Special Lady

I love to cook, but it's not often that I feel like I have a green light to spend what I want and pull out all the stops for a special meal. Maybe once a year or so. Jeff's parents have been such a blessing to us this year, so I wanted to celebrate Amy's birthday in style. Making food is probably my #1 love language, and it's especially gratifying when the recipient feels the same way about food. I only chose the menu the night before, so Jeff stayed home yesterday to watch Amelia so I could focus. It was so much fun! I thought I'd share some pictures, but I didn't remember to capture everything.

The Menu

Pomegranate, Orange, Mint and Rose Coolers

Chicken B'Stilla
(A filo pastry filled with chicken and egg, with almonds and cinnamon between layers of pastry)
I didn't get a picture of mine, but it pretty much looked like this one.

Vegetable Course:
Baked Pumpkin Stars with Caramelized Onion, Raisins and Almonds
Beets with Minty Yogurt Dressing

Lamb Tagine with Prunes
served with Fresh Baked Baguette
Garlic and Lemon Fava Beans

Homemade Baklavah
Fresh Spearmint Tea
White Coffee
(Hot water infused with orange blossom essence)

None of the recipes were very difficult, let me know if you'd like to try one of them!

2008-11-10T14:47:00.000-08:00

Need a little budget- friendly cooking inspiration?

I really enjoyed an article by the Washington Post they did on Jacques Pepin cooking a meal for six on $24. Fun and inspiring-- go invite someone over for dinner!

(In this photo he demonstrates sharpening a blade on a porcelain plate-- !!)

2008-10-30T16:02:00.000-07:00

Uh oh. Mama was impulsive.

And just couldn't take the hair in the face or the food in the hair in the face anymore. However, she failed to take into account the many cowlicks, the inability of a toddler to keep her head straight for more than two seconds, or the apparently unusual shape of her daughter's forehead.

Mimi saw the results and concluded: "I'm a big girl now." Then she ate her chicken soup without any her hair in her face. Mama doesn't quite feel sick about it, but has a new found respect for children's hairdressers.

2008-10-29T19:54:00.000-07:00

'Tis the Season...

Amelia's grandma stopped by this afternoon with a costume she found at the Goodwill! I think it looks hilarious, and am glad Amelia is eager to amuse us by wearing it. Actually, she is loving it, and I have to admit that it's nice to hear her barking in place of all the meowing she usually does. She keeps announcing, "I'm a dog now!" Jeff has been taking her through the doggy paces of fetching things with her mouth, jumping up on people, etc. I'm glad he's leaving out all of the crude and awkward things dogs spend much of their time doing.

Arf! Arf!

2008-10-27T08:26:00.000-07:00

It's easy to confuse Christianity with pregnancy:

"Mama, I have a baby in my heart!"

2008-10-22T13:15:00.000-07:00

"It" Happens...

I had no idea I would be due for another Most Embarassing Moment so soon. And it wasn't even last night when we were eating out-- Amelia was yelling at our server while she was with another table, "HEY LAAAADY! I'M HUUUNGRYYYY!" That was embarrassing, but not too bad.

I was having one of those days today-- hoping I wouldn't run into anyone I know, just trying to fly below the radar while letting Amelia get out of the house. We went to our favorite kids consignment store, where I let her wander around and play while I was looking through things. There were a lot of ladies there, and I heard one of them, laughing, say "Hey, where's your mom?" Of course I identified myself right away and asked what was going on. She said Amelia had lost her pants. No big deal, but it's not really like her to just take them off for no reason. Then Amelia walked around the corner with her pants around her ankles, beaming. "I pooped!" Oh, no you didn't! Oh, yes,she did! She had made her not-so-little deposit in one of the kids potties on display.
This was already enough, but the store owner didn't even laugh when I told her (in front of many people) what had happened. In all of my routine humiliations, I don't remember the last time I blushed so badly that my eyes watered. She gave me a key to the bathroom, to take care of it. Then I ended up wandering around the courtyard with a giant potty and a toddler trying to figure out where the bathroom was. Someone came out of their store and told me it was all the way around the block. So we marched over there. And of course there were construction workers working on the sidewalk right in front of it. Of course it was occupied, so we had to hang out there with the laborers and our big pot of stink.
We cleaned up, returned the potty to the store, bought something as a courtesy and got out of there! Amelia was quite proud of herself, which I'm glad for-- no need to maker her feel bad as well! Anyway, This is just one of those things that you have to share so that people can just laugh and redeem the mortification. Enjoy.