Portland's (Barter) Economy is Booming!...

It turns out that massage is very much in demand, and it has been really fun to meet people and exchange goods and/ or services. Many people are struggling financially, but it works out really well to exchange what we already have or can do, taking cash out of the equation. Many of these trades are for things that make our life feel rich, but that we would have a hard time justifying spending money on. So far, I have traded bodywork for:

Hair Services
A Spa Gift Card (worth $450!!)
Voice Lessons
Grass Fed Beef
Restaurant Gift Certificates
Massages
Acupuncture Treatments
Private Pilates Sessions
Custom Woodworking
Website Design Consulting
Childcare
Professional Photography

Can you believe it? I am lucky to live in a city that values community highly, and loves to find creative ways to help one another. I am currently working on having someone come clean my house 1-2x/ month as a trade (this may be the most exciting one for me yet!) It also feels good to know that I am providing something that people really need, but can't afford.
We feel so fortunate!

2010- The Year of Possibilities

So, this year seems a little more unpredictable than most. I feel like every year we go through major transitions, but I guess 2009 was a little dull: no moves, no job switches (just all the drama that goes with being told you're losing your job, looking for a new one, and then finding at the very last minute that you have not, in fact, lost your job,) no pregnancies or other major life events. Just things breaking, leaking, or flooding and lots of big things almost happening.

But this year, this year may be different. Lots of things could go either way.
For starters, it turns out that we might not actually lose our house. We are deep in the process of applying again for a loan modification. Since we tried last time, banks have been pressed harder to play nice and actually try to help people out. So that might happen. Or we might do a short sale. In either case, it is unlikely that we will be out of here in the next month or so.

Unless... We go to Sicily in the Spring. Yes, it's back. The same position that Jeff originally applied for has opened again, and he has applied again. Things are going a little slowly on their end, but we expect to hear something from them soon. As far as we know, if we were offered the position, we would accept.

If not, I continue to work hard and enjoy the fruits of my labor (more work!) with my business. There is an office space that I am contemplating that is literally three minutes from our house (by car) and downstairs from my Naturopath's office. She is my greatest source of referrals, so that would obviously work nicely!

Also, I am thinking about finishing my degree. Portland State has a degree completion program, and I would get a BS in Sociology with a minor in either Psychology or Women's Studies. I recently applied for a big scholarship designed for women who are older (ahem) that never got their college degree. I just found out today that I didn't get it, but I am still considering the options for going back to school. I figure that if we go to Italy, that would be the perfect opportunity for me to work on that, since it can all be done online. We'll see!

Lots of things could stay exactly as they are, or we could be living a completely different life in the summer. Either way, we ware feeling positive. If we stay, there are many possibilities to be explored, and things are looking better for our family. If we go, many of our worldly worries would be relieved, and it would be a big adventure for us. What an exciting year!

No wonder my daughter hates eating her leftovers...

She is sitting on Jeff's lap with rapt attention, being read a cookbook, adding her own ideas and applauding good combinations. They've been reading for a long time, but she just keeps asking "How 'bout another one?"

Work.

I have been busy. Not necessarily always with treating clients, but in all sorts of ways related to work. It's strange to think that I have been in my studio space for over a year now. Granted, four months of that were taken up with flooding and related nonsense, but still! Over a year! In that amount of time, I have come up with a business name and logo, and a very specific idea of who I want to work with, how and why. I have attended five courses, most of them four days long. Brochures, cards, networking meetings, advertising, seeking local listings online, et cetera. BUSY. And now it's actually starting to pay off! In October, I suddenly had this surge of appointments, and I really don't want to work more than I did then. Things naturally slow down a bit with the holidays, but even so, I have enough work to keep me from worrying about the income.


Somehow, I feel like it is my work that has finally brought me into Portland. We've been here for 2.5 years now, and I had felt like an outsider for most of that time. I worked so hard at being outgoing and friendly and doing all of the things I felt were necessary (however obligatory) to get into a new community, but it just didn't seem to be working. It was lonely, discouraging and exhausting. Once I really shifted my focus to my passion, and investing in myself and my business, things began to come together. Last Spring, I took a course on abdominal/pelvic massage. I had been thinking a lot of the difficult experiences women have in this world, and how I might be able to help them heal in as they process. At the same time, I felt like I could really use some support and the kind of help I was providing for others. At that class I met a woman who has become a dear, dear friend to me. We have a lot in common, and a similar heart for working with women. From that point on, I feel that I have made so many great connections. I have been reading books on femininity and healing, and that is what prompted me to start hosting a monthly get together for women. Even though almost everyone there is a relatively new acquaintance, it still feels really good just to be gathering and listening to one another, and offering support-- and a lot of laughter!



I now feel like I know a wide range of practicioners in Portland-- naturopaths, chiropractors, acupuncturists, PTs and other bodyworkers, and it has been a big boost to start getting referrals from them, and also being able to meet for study groups on shared modalities. I have also been able to trade and get the work I need for myself! This city is completely saturated with natural health practicioners, particularly MTs. Sometimes I dream about living in a little town where I am THE massage therapist, and there is little competition. At the same time, the pressures have helped me to crystalize my vision and work to set myself apart. I have heard from a number of people that they just don't know anyone else who is doing what I am doing. And I LOVE what I'm doing, so it works out very well!

Next month, I am going to San Francisco with the friend I mentioned earlier to take a course in Somato-Emotional Release. This is a class I have wanted to take for years, that I have finally filled the prerequisites for. I am especially excited to go with my friend, so we can process through together and talk about it as we learn more down the road. Also on the horizon: looking for a new space. There has been more flooding in my room this Fall, and obviously that makes me a bit nervous. Also, there have been some other issues there, and I feel like I might be ready to move on to the next phase. We'll see.



A good friend of mine took these lovely pictures of me working in my studio-- I can finally show you a little bit of my space (it's so small that it was actually hard to even photograph.) I like to post links to relevant articles through facebook, so if you'd like to follow along you can go to the Laya sidebar and become a fan. I technically have a website, but it is not really ready to be shared. I'll let you know.

Thanks, everyone, for listening!

A New Wrinkle

It seems like more and more we are coming into a new chapter, and it really does feel like Portland-- Take 2. There are some things that you just don't put out there much, but this one will affect us in big ways, so it's worth updating everyone on. The bottom line is that we are foreclosing on our adorable little home of two years. There are definitely some positives here mixed in with the more obvious negatives. We bought at the very top of the market, and so much of the information we based our decisions on just completely changed within a year. It was a stretch for us financially, but armed with optimism, substantial savings, and a plan for me to start my own practice soon, we took the leap. Bump after bump after bump on my road to having my own business, I am finally there, but too late. When we were thinking about going overseas, we looked at what it would be like to rent our house out. That's when we realized that we were paying way more for our house than it was worth, and our savings had already run out. And we had pared our budget down to the bare minimums long ago. It was really hard to get to a place of needing to find other options-- and we exhaustively researched all of them-- finding foreclosure to be the only one actually available to us at this point, unless we wanted to gather more debt.

So, we stopped making mortgage payments this summer and started making big payments on the debt we had incurred making up for our deficiencies and starting my business. We got our notice last week that our home will be auctioned at the end of February. This is good and bad. I am so glad that we have been able to live here, and that we will continue to do so "rent free" for several more months-- what a blessing. On the other had, we have poured so much into this little house, and it seems like such a sad way to leave. Also, my work has started to really pick up, especially in the last month, but I suddenly feel a lot of pressure to make sure that I am earning enough to keep us going as we pay rent and finish paying off the debt. I have been having mild panic attacks about this, but the refrain "Jehovah Jireh, my Provider-- His grace is sufficient for me" has been an encouragement to me lately.

Now, on to the positives! Looking at apartments and tiny houses online has been kind of encouraging! They're not so bad in our price range after all, and we might actually get to live in a safer, sweeter neighborhood. Maybe close to my work, even. Plus, there will be closets! We are ready for something new, and sometimes it's nice to switch homes as a way to mark a distinct new chapter (at least that's how it's been for us, since we have lived in four places in our almost five years of marriage!) I am so excited to think that my practice is getting busy and will soon be a dependable source of income. Things are changing for us, and although some of them are pretty tough, we are ultimately headed in a good direction. Sigh.

Let's Talk About Mimi...

I know, it's been forever since I have posted. Things have been a little wild around here, but I have been thinking a lot about how Amelia is growing, and I've been wanting to share some things.

After she turned three, we went through a real rough patch. Part of it was the fact that it was summer, and she wasn't in preschool anymore. Amelia and I have very different needs in terms of being with people, and being in public-- she would love to spend every day out and about town, meeting new people and especially eating out everywhere she goes-- not too practical! Jeff is on a year round schedule, so although he has a lot of time off overall, I often felt pretty stuck-- at home trying to keep things reasonable. Amelia had a baseline of miserable and demanding, and I was constantly overwhelmed with the feeling that there is no way in the world that I can possibly meet her needs. I actually started to get sick again, and spent the first half of summer repeatedly visiting my doctor, trying to figure out what was going on.

Then, along came Summer Bible Camp at a church five minutes away. I decided to go for it, and although she was really anxious about the new situation, she ended up loving it. Attendance was low, so she had someone one-on-one with her the entire time. This special person, it turns out, lives walking distance from our house and was looking to do babysitting jobs all summer! She is 17, really down to earth but fun, and charges $4 per hour. We offered her $5, and asked her to come twice a week for three hours. That way, I had more time to work and someone was there to just devote undivided attention to Amelia. It worked out great! And now we have a babysitter that we can actually afford when we need it. She was able to give Amelia something she needed, but that I had just run out of resources for. Whew!

We are into our fourth week of preschool now, and it feels good to be back into a routine. Amelia has had a harder time adjusting this time around, but she is getting there. Something that has become very apparent in the last few months is that she just really doesn't like children. It is really hard and terrifying/ exhausting to spend the day with them, so I can see why she might not feel like going to preschool some days. Her school is wonderful, though, and has been very supportive of her. She basically just shadows one of the classroom aides all day. When other kids are out on the playground, I know I can probably find her inside helping with some kind of task that needs to be done by the teachers. I am glad that she can be socialized in a very orderly, predictable and respectful environment-- otherwise, I don't think preschool would be a good option for us at all.

Something fun about Mimi is that she is an exceptional conversationalist. She is great to take to parties, where grownups often forget proper "getting acquainted" ettiquette. She introduces herself, asks their name, says "Nice to meet you [Name]" and then asks a relevant question, like "Who's mama are you?" or comments on their attire. She loves to hear stories, and has SO many questions about the tale she just heard once you finish. She has also gotten pretty good at telling them. Here's one of my favorites:
Once upon a time, I was standing on the big stool by the oven making pancakes. All of a sudden, I heard a "creeeak." It was the gate opening! And then! I heard a "crackety-crack"-- it was a firework! It came in the door and climbed up on the big stool and hugged me all over until I broke into pieces. And then it helped put me back together and I was OK. The end.
By the way, scary stories are her favorite.

Besides being social and polite and loving narrative, Amelia is very emotionally considerate. Sometimes it is so surprising to me that she is so kind and sensitive. The other day, she was just waking up from her nap, and making her way down the stairs. (She often has a hard time dealing with life when she is coming out of a nap, and isn't always glad to see Jeff, who usually comes home from work around this time.) Jeff peeked around the corner to say hello to her, and she yelled "No! I don't like you!" Jeff was disappointed but understanding, so he just left the room. Amelia came down and snuggled with me a little bit. I told her I loved her, and she returned the sentiment. Then I said, "You know how it makes us feel so good inside when someone says that they like or love us?" She nodded. "How do you think it makes someone feel when we say 'I don't like you?'" "Not good," she said. Then, "I didn't mean to say 'I don't like you.' I meant to say 'no thank you.'" She slid off the couch, ran into the kitchen and apologized to Jeff and told him she was sorry for making him feel bad. She reiterated that she had meant to just say "No thank you." We both got a little teary-eyed that she had done this completely of her own accord, and that she had the maturity to reinterpret her feelings and apologize! She is constantly noticing other peoples' emotional states, and is very concerned. What a sweetheart!
She also is always thanking people for everything. Thank you for helping me with that! Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for having me over to spend time with you. She will often thank someone again for something that happened weeks or months ago.


In the last few weeks, I feel like she has really turned a corner in personal development and independence. Previously, she had an extremely difficult time entertaining herself. She would rather watch someone else do an activity than try it herself. It seemed like she couldn't do anything without someone else engaging her. I consulted with a pediatric naturopath about this, and we did some homeopathic remedies for her temperament. I think this really helped her make the shift. I have also had her get some bodywork, and it seems like she has just broken through some barrier in her development. We have been noticing lately that she is getting very creative about finding things to do, and is playing all the time. Hurray! I didn't know if she'd EVER figure out how to play! She is happier and more independent and I can tell this has really helped her confidence.


Amelia loves to talk on the phone, and remembers everyone. If you ever want to have a conversation with this little girl, please call us! I'll show her a picture of you, and she'll take it from there with lots of questions about what you're doing, eating and wearing. Isn't she great?

Beach Day!

Celebrating this guy.

And indulging this girl...







And letting me play...