A New Wrinkle

It seems like more and more we are coming into a new chapter, and it really does feel like Portland-- Take 2. There are some things that you just don't put out there much, but this one will affect us in big ways, so it's worth updating everyone on. The bottom line is that we are foreclosing on our adorable little home of two years. There are definitely some positives here mixed in with the more obvious negatives. We bought at the very top of the market, and so much of the information we based our decisions on just completely changed within a year. It was a stretch for us financially, but armed with optimism, substantial savings, and a plan for me to start my own practice soon, we took the leap. Bump after bump after bump on my road to having my own business, I am finally there, but too late. When we were thinking about going overseas, we looked at what it would be like to rent our house out. That's when we realized that we were paying way more for our house than it was worth, and our savings had already run out. And we had pared our budget down to the bare minimums long ago. It was really hard to get to a place of needing to find other options-- and we exhaustively researched all of them-- finding foreclosure to be the only one actually available to us at this point, unless we wanted to gather more debt.

So, we stopped making mortgage payments this summer and started making big payments on the debt we had incurred making up for our deficiencies and starting my business. We got our notice last week that our home will be auctioned at the end of February. This is good and bad. I am so glad that we have been able to live here, and that we will continue to do so "rent free" for several more months-- what a blessing. On the other had, we have poured so much into this little house, and it seems like such a sad way to leave. Also, my work has started to really pick up, especially in the last month, but I suddenly feel a lot of pressure to make sure that I am earning enough to keep us going as we pay rent and finish paying off the debt. I have been having mild panic attacks about this, but the refrain "Jehovah Jireh, my Provider-- His grace is sufficient for me" has been an encouragement to me lately.

Now, on to the positives! Looking at apartments and tiny houses online has been kind of encouraging! They're not so bad in our price range after all, and we might actually get to live in a safer, sweeter neighborhood. Maybe close to my work, even. Plus, there will be closets! We are ready for something new, and sometimes it's nice to switch homes as a way to mark a distinct new chapter (at least that's how it's been for us, since we have lived in four places in our almost five years of marriage!) I am so excited to think that my practice is getting busy and will soon be a dependable source of income. Things are changing for us, and although some of them are pretty tough, we are ultimately headed in a good direction. Sigh.

Let's Talk About Mimi...

I know, it's been forever since I have posted. Things have been a little wild around here, but I have been thinking a lot about how Amelia is growing, and I've been wanting to share some things.

After she turned three, we went through a real rough patch. Part of it was the fact that it was summer, and she wasn't in preschool anymore. Amelia and I have very different needs in terms of being with people, and being in public-- she would love to spend every day out and about town, meeting new people and especially eating out everywhere she goes-- not too practical! Jeff is on a year round schedule, so although he has a lot of time off overall, I often felt pretty stuck-- at home trying to keep things reasonable. Amelia had a baseline of miserable and demanding, and I was constantly overwhelmed with the feeling that there is no way in the world that I can possibly meet her needs. I actually started to get sick again, and spent the first half of summer repeatedly visiting my doctor, trying to figure out what was going on.

Then, along came Summer Bible Camp at a church five minutes away. I decided to go for it, and although she was really anxious about the new situation, she ended up loving it. Attendance was low, so she had someone one-on-one with her the entire time. This special person, it turns out, lives walking distance from our house and was looking to do babysitting jobs all summer! She is 17, really down to earth but fun, and charges $4 per hour. We offered her $5, and asked her to come twice a week for three hours. That way, I had more time to work and someone was there to just devote undivided attention to Amelia. It worked out great! And now we have a babysitter that we can actually afford when we need it. She was able to give Amelia something she needed, but that I had just run out of resources for. Whew!

We are into our fourth week of preschool now, and it feels good to be back into a routine. Amelia has had a harder time adjusting this time around, but she is getting there. Something that has become very apparent in the last few months is that she just really doesn't like children. It is really hard and terrifying/ exhausting to spend the day with them, so I can see why she might not feel like going to preschool some days. Her school is wonderful, though, and has been very supportive of her. She basically just shadows one of the classroom aides all day. When other kids are out on the playground, I know I can probably find her inside helping with some kind of task that needs to be done by the teachers. I am glad that she can be socialized in a very orderly, predictable and respectful environment-- otherwise, I don't think preschool would be a good option for us at all.

Something fun about Mimi is that she is an exceptional conversationalist. She is great to take to parties, where grownups often forget proper "getting acquainted" ettiquette. She introduces herself, asks their name, says "Nice to meet you [Name]" and then asks a relevant question, like "Who's mama are you?" or comments on their attire. She loves to hear stories, and has SO many questions about the tale she just heard once you finish. She has also gotten pretty good at telling them. Here's one of my favorites:
Once upon a time, I was standing on the big stool by the oven making pancakes. All of a sudden, I heard a "creeeak." It was the gate opening! And then! I heard a "crackety-crack"-- it was a firework! It came in the door and climbed up on the big stool and hugged me all over until I broke into pieces. And then it helped put me back together and I was OK. The end.
By the way, scary stories are her favorite.

Besides being social and polite and loving narrative, Amelia is very emotionally considerate. Sometimes it is so surprising to me that she is so kind and sensitive. The other day, she was just waking up from her nap, and making her way down the stairs. (She often has a hard time dealing with life when she is coming out of a nap, and isn't always glad to see Jeff, who usually comes home from work around this time.) Jeff peeked around the corner to say hello to her, and she yelled "No! I don't like you!" Jeff was disappointed but understanding, so he just left the room. Amelia came down and snuggled with me a little bit. I told her I loved her, and she returned the sentiment. Then I said, "You know how it makes us feel so good inside when someone says that they like or love us?" She nodded. "How do you think it makes someone feel when we say 'I don't like you?'" "Not good," she said. Then, "I didn't mean to say 'I don't like you.' I meant to say 'no thank you.'" She slid off the couch, ran into the kitchen and apologized to Jeff and told him she was sorry for making him feel bad. She reiterated that she had meant to just say "No thank you." We both got a little teary-eyed that she had done this completely of her own accord, and that she had the maturity to reinterpret her feelings and apologize! She is constantly noticing other peoples' emotional states, and is very concerned. What a sweetheart!
She also is always thanking people for everything. Thank you for helping me with that! Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for having me over to spend time with you. She will often thank someone again for something that happened weeks or months ago.


In the last few weeks, I feel like she has really turned a corner in personal development and independence. Previously, she had an extremely difficult time entertaining herself. She would rather watch someone else do an activity than try it herself. It seemed like she couldn't do anything without someone else engaging her. I consulted with a pediatric naturopath about this, and we did some homeopathic remedies for her temperament. I think this really helped her make the shift. I have also had her get some bodywork, and it seems like she has just broken through some barrier in her development. We have been noticing lately that she is getting very creative about finding things to do, and is playing all the time. Hurray! I didn't know if she'd EVER figure out how to play! She is happier and more independent and I can tell this has really helped her confidence.


Amelia loves to talk on the phone, and remembers everyone. If you ever want to have a conversation with this little girl, please call us! I'll show her a picture of you, and she'll take it from there with lots of questions about what you're doing, eating and wearing. Isn't she great?

Beach Day!

Celebrating this guy.

And indulging this girl...







And letting me play...

Where We're at With Summer's End

Summer isn't exactly over yet, but it does seem to be winding down, and I am beginning to gird myself up for the Long Dreary Season. I have to say, though, Portland does such a wonderful job of providing opportunity to celebrate summer to the fullest, that I feel like I've had a good go of it, and maybe I can welcome Fall a little more easily.

Summer with the Mullins family is all about birthdays. Mine was a week after Amelia's, and it was interesting to turn thirty after she turned three. I had one day of celebration per decade! On the day before, we had a wonderful breakfast downtown and did a little shopping with some money for clothes I received. After I got home and was about to go to work, I found out that I must be allergic to crab-- I was violently ill for the next few hours, and will probably still turn green if anyone says "Dungeness Crab Benedict" to me again. Oh, well-- at least it wasn't my real birthday yet! The next day, we finally took a trip to the coast. I love the beach have had this ache in my soul to be near the water, and I still can't figure out why it took us two years to drive the two hours to get there. That was a lot of fun, and it was super exciting for Amelia to see the ocean for the first time. She was shivering and purple, and but still wanted to go in the water, look for seaweed and "make a sandyman." (I guess castles aren't really her thing.)
And, finally, I had a birthday party. Joy hosted, and it was out our house. We had about ten ladies over for some great food and drinks outside, and it was a lot of fun. Birthday parties don't happen every year for grownups, and it was a lot of fun to do it up a little for a big number like 30.
And we're not done yet--Jeff's birthday is on Wednesday, and we will got to the beach again for his big day. Then, we're having some friends over on Friday for a special dinner for him-- fun week!

What else?.... Well, it seems like things have changed a lot since the very beginning of summer, when we were hoping to get the heck out of here and go to Italy for a couple of years. One major high point is that my business is beginning to pick up and (hopefully) take off. I have been transitioning out of doing a lot of deep tissue and more orthopedic work, into more cranio-sacral therapy and helping people through emotional issues being held within the body. I wasn't sure how to make the change, exactly, but it is happening! I keep getting referrals for CST, and I love the work I am doing. It has been incredibly fulfilling for me, as well as energizing. I have also been devoting a lot of time to the business end of things, and although I don't enjoy that much, I have slowly been making some important headway. Hopefully I can direct you to a website soon!
Another positive for me is that I've begun hosting monthly "Ladies Nights." OK, so I've only had two, including my birthday party, but so far, so good and we have another one coming up here in two weeks. It has been a very very long time since I have been able to spend much time with other women, and I am so happy to also help make it happen for them as well. On a similar note, I have developed a couple of significant friendships with other female massage therapists who are seeking to help other women heal from emotional issues. It has been so wonderful and encouraging for me to find other people to talk to that share the same heart in their work, and of course wonderful too to be able to trade bodywork with them!

Although we have had a lot of fun things to do all summer, Amelia has really been missing preschool. (Me too!) Her social needs are much too great for me to meet, and it's incredibly inconvenient that she just doesn't like kids. She is used to adults and (understandably) prefers them, so even going to the park can be a big dud, since she won't play on the equipment if there are other children using it. Her ideal day would involve going from restaurant to store to bakery to grownup gathering.... Not happening! So, she has spent most of the last couple of months seriously disgruntled as we work on playing independently and being reasonably content at home. We are so thankful that her preschool is giving us a very generous financial aid package this year, and J's parents are contributing the rest. She has done so well there, and it is perfect to have a very organized, quiet, predictable setting for her to socialize with other (older) children in. Whew!

All of these items and more add up to a good year to come in Portland. It was looking a little bleak there for a while, and it is amazing how much can change in such a short time. Want to hear something ironic? Jeff was just offered a job in Naples, Italy. Starting in November. It has been rather painful to come to a decision on the offer (and what a generous offer it was!) but we are going to say put for another year or so. Maybe next year we'll go overseas and live out that European dream, but we'd like to really give it another go here, and see what happens. So far, so good!

Overdue: Amelia's Birthday Party Photos

OK, so this is really late, I know. I shared party pictures on Facebook, but I know there are some yet who haven't seen them. I decided that last year's party was such an easy success that I would just have the exact same one again for her this year. We invited friends for breakfast at the park, and had coffee for all of the grownups while the kids played. It was a lot of fun, and super easy. Maybe we'll do it again next year....
I made the cupcakes, cake, hard boiled eggs and fancy juice and then Joy made some awesome muffins and Amy brought strawberries. We bought some good coffee and called it breakfast. I wish I had a picture here of the lanterns hung up in the trees-- decorations for the birthday girl who was terrified of balloons!

She loves matryoshka dolls, so I put the tiny one from her set on the cake...

Something unique about Amelia is that she LOVES to anticipate an event. So we were talking about her party a month in advance. Every time I asked her what she wanted for her birthday party, she said, "A chocolate cupcake with chocolate frosting and a strawberry on top." I think she enjoyed all of the other aspects of the party too!The little birthday clip and apron were made by her grandma.

Enjoying her sugar high.

Little Big Girl's Big Day

Today is Amelia's birthday, so we tried to fill it with everything she loves. Firstly, we sang the happy birthday song way more times than I'm willing to admit. Then we went downtown for the morning. Our usual favorite is closed on Mondays, so we had to branch out. I am SO glad we did, because we found another really great restaurant we'd never even heard of! She had sausage and a very fancy fruit bowl for breakfast, and the staff brought out a little pancake with a candle in it. That was a fun way to get things started!

Orange juice was a treat that made her breakfast extra special, and she got to eat leftover fruit and sausage out of a cup for the rest of the morning.

Next, we took a walk around downtown and went to a big toy store to play. Amelia had a great time pushing around a stroller of stuffed animals and playing with the dress-up items. We had a little birthday money for her, and she chose an umbrella and we bought a kazoo.
More walking around town followed, and we stopped in at the Aveda store to cash in a couple of free offers we'd gotten in the mail. She applied lotions and sipped licorice tea, feeling completely indulged. On our way back to the car, we stopped at a food cart that some friends run to say hello and get some vegetable juice-- and of course they gave her a cookie for her birthday.

The highlight of the day was a ride on the Sky Tram that goes up and down the hill to OHSU. She has been talking about it since we first rode on it last fall, and I think it was as exciting as she had remembered. If it had been free, we probably would have taken the trip up and back a couple more times.

It's fun looking down into everyone's backyards.
Such great views of the city. For some reason Amelia LOVES the city. Whenever I ask her what she wants to do, she gets excited and says "Let's go downtown!!"What is that weird little puff of black smoke?

By this time we were all so tired. We came home for a "birthday nap" which she was surprisingly enthusiastic about. Then we shopped with some birthday money at Target for a watering can and some clothes for her.

We had a nice picnic dinner and ate the last of her birthday party cupcakes (birthday party pictures coming soon.) We have one of those wooden birthday rings, so we lit the candles and talked about how she is growing up and what is so exciting about being three years old. She's finally in bed, and we're ALL birthdayed out. It was so fun to devote a day to doing things she loves-- it's such a great way to celebrate who she is and how she brightens up our lives. Happy Three!

Portland, Take Two....

So, we didn't get either of the overseas jobs Jeff had applied for. The Sicily position had been given to an incumbent transferring from Turkey, and Jeff's application was submitted to Germany too late in their interview process. I am obviously disappointed, but still glad to just know what we'll be doing this Fall. When we got the news about the Sicily position, we consoled ourselves by going out for some cheap, lousy Italian food. We made a list of things we might be able to look forward to about staying here:
1. Really getting my business going (for real this time.)
2. All of the time off that Jeff's current job gives him throughout the year.
3. Amelia's preschool-- they also made us a very generous financial aid offer this year!
4. Getting out of our house and being free of a mortgage and home ownership burdens for a while.
5. Renting in a neighborhood that is better than our current one-- where I might actually feel good about going for a walk!
6. Current relationships-- especially family, and Jeff's work friends.
7. Finding a church community (again, for real this time.)

In the last couple of years, I have found the process of trying to make friends, find community, and get involved here stressful and disappointing. I'm kind of pretending that we're new here again, and this time I just don't feel the same pressure to make it happen. Only this time, we DO have a few friends. And I know my way around town. And I have my massage license. And my child is sleeping at night, and has a preschool I feel great about. Let's try this again, and I know it will be better this time around.

The "post script" here is that although we are now mentally back in Portland again, we are still working with the placement agency, for an opportunity to work for them overseas in the future. Apparently, there are positions that become available throughout the year, so we'll keep our ear to the ground for the right opportunity.