You knew it was coming... I now present to you:
The Silver Lining
Well, the Terrible Leaking Pipe Problem is finally over with. It took about a week, and although I still haven't put everything away, our kitchen is 100% functional and a little 'purdier' than when we started.
Since our cabinets were all rotted and mildewy, we had to get rid of them. Instead of putting in more cabinets, I had the chance to do something I'd always thought about: putting our butcher block countertop on turned legs, making it look more like piece of furniture.
It was a bit of an ordeal to find what we needed, but we ended up screwing two legs together for the right height. I found a duvet cover for $10 at IKEA, and cut that up and turned it into curtains. I hope to find the right racks tonight for storage underneath. By the way, the whole fiasco ended up costing us much less than I had feared, and helped support some qualified neighbors who are currently out of work and thrilled to help.
I want to thank you all for all of your nice comments and support. The encouragement, empathy and prayers really did make me feel better throughout the whole lame ordeal. In fact, I had been wanting to do this part of the project anyway, and the upside was that I was forced into going for it. I'd like to put it out there that, should another unfortunate event such as this one happen again, forcing us into home improvements that we would otherwise never consider due to our precarious financial situation, please let it be the bathroom.