And Hold... And Hold....

Jeff had a phone interview with the folks in Sigonella this morning. This was the final interview for the position he has applied for. It was to be at six a.m.-- noon Italy time, so he got up at five to be all fed and fresh for the conversation. When he checked his email, he found that it had been pushed back to seven! Ah, well... He drove to a scenic lookout and hiked around a little while talked. He said it was a conference call with the four members of the medical team he would be working with (PTs, OTs, etc.) and that the connection was a little sketchy. That made the conversation a bit awkward, with little flow to it, but they got by. Jeff said he didn't feel like he really aced or bombed it-- it was all just fine. He found out that there are four other applicants for the position, and that it will be a few weeks before they make their decision. So we wait... and wait... and wait...

It's hard to know what to do in the meantime. Jeff will find out this week whether he will be transferred to another department in his current job, or whether he will lose his job altogether. We're voting for a transfer, of course. Even if we got a DoD job, it would be great to have some employment to fill the gap until we leave. And, of course, if we don't get the job we want, it would obviously be nice for him to still have one. Naturally, I don't feel like investing a whole lot anywhere right now. I'm unmotivated to do much for my business, to work hard at relationships at Amelia's preschool... We decided not to continue at the church we had been attending for over a year, but are not sure it's worth it to find a new one at this point. We have no idea what we'll be doing in a couple of months. My mother-in-law reminded me that this is actually true for everyone, all the time-- but that we like to think we know what is happening or where are lives are headed. On the one hand, I feel all giddy with excitement and possibility. On the other, I just want to know what to do. I am someone who loves moving forward and making progress. Now I am having to just sit and wait and enjoy the sunshine, and not be terribly productive. Of course it's a good discipline for someone like me, but it's HARD.

Just a note-- if Jeff doesn't get the position in Italy, we will apply for the one in Germany. The suspense is killing me.

I saw this picture of a tour bus today, and loved it because I totally identified.

Enough with the sadness, on with the garden report!

We did manage to pull ourselves together yesterday and do some yard work. We decided that it was very important to have a day this weekend (Jeff had four days off) that actually counted for something, so we set to it and even overdid it a bit.

I have to say that my gardening this year has been a bit half-hearted. For one thing, we worked really hard last year and spent a fair amount of money-- with poor harvest results. This was due in part to the lousy weather, with no substantial sunshine until mid-June, and also lack of experience in the Northwest. The other reason is that we don't plan to be living here much longer. Even if we don't move overseas, we plan to quit being homeowners--and regress a bit to renting and saving money. I guess I could write a whole post about that, but I don't feel like it. So anyway, it all feels a bit temporary and that automatically takes some of the gusto out of it. On the other hand, I don't have to think too hard about any choices I make, so I have decided to just have fun playing in the dirt, and whatever I get to pick and eat is a bonus.

One garden project I'm excited about is our potato box. We are doing something like this, where you build a box gradually as the potatoes grow and then you can harvest them progressively by taking the boards off of the bottom to get the bigger ones, and move up as the higher ones are the right size. I still need to start another one, and have a bag of blue potatoes that will go in there. Pictured are the eager shoots of yukon gold and baby reds-- it's almost time to add another layer.

Last year we didn't do any raised beds, and the sunniest spot in our yard was in "detox," since part of it was previously a parking spot. We planted some detoxifying plants and did some intensive treatments to help it along. Now we are putting some raised beds there, with a barrier in the bottom to keep roots in the more controlled environment of the box for a while longer. I am excited about the bean teepee, and have also planted zuchinni and watermelon along the sides to spill over onto the rest of the detoxifying plot. One more note, we have a lot of donated/ collected wood that all came to us for free to help with the chicken coop, so all of these boxes and things have not cost us a dime!


Many of the items planted last year that were disappointing in yield still produced plenty of seeds. For example we now have probably fifty fennel seedlings doing very nicely, and parsley starts scattered all over the garden. I recently planted a lot of the dill seeds I had collected last year, too. I'm happy to have these all growing with little effort and no expense. Also, the strawberry patch is going crazy, so I have high hopes in that department. Here's some of that young feathery fennel.
I'm having fun using a bunch of long sticks we have for some reason, and built a pup-tent-like trellis for cucumbers. We have some other trellisses here and there from wood cut from trees in our yard.Which brings us to the peas. They have been planted in three different plots, and we are now starting to pick them! I have been looking forward to having something available for Amelia to eat straight from the plants in the garden.Also coming along are the spring onions, lettuces and some herbs.

This year, we will actually have a little fruit from our own trees. I'm especially excited about our espallier- style apple tree grafted with four different varieties. Its branches are fully loaded with these little cuties:We also have a fig tree. I have a soft spot in my heart for fig trees, since my aunt in Whittier always had this little one in her yard that we played on and ate from. Also because the taste and texture of fresh figs is so wonderful!And we have a cherry tree with nine cherries growing. We'll try not to eat them all at once!

We have more work to do, with an empty raised bed and a freshly cleared garden bed. I have put a lot of various seeds in the ground this week, and am waiting to see what comes up. So far, radishes and dill. I'm hoping for more greens, but we do have broccoli and a few other little things growing nicely. I know this has been quite long, so thanks for sticking with me!

Sad times for the Mullins family...

OK, so it's not that bad, but still fairly lame. I picked up a virus two weeks ago that really knocked me out. Then once I started feeling just a little better, Amelia started getting sick. Last weekend I powered through a massage course and then played nurse to Amelia. She got very sick. One night in particular, she had a really high fever (I couldn't find the thermometer to quantify, but it was probably about 105) and was actually hallucinating. I don't like to give her tylenol routinely, but even after a dose her fever didn't go down for several hours. She's been staying home from school since Wednesday and is still not feeling so hot.

I started getting sick again Friday, and by the night time had a raging earache. I have had an ear infection or two in the past, but the level of pain in this one was off the charts. We ended up going to the ER that night since I just couldn't stop crying --I like to think I have a high pain tolerance, but this certainly brought me to my knees. At the ER they said they found an angry eardrum and said they couldn't do much for me at the moment-- decongestant, antibiotics, and, after I asked, pain meds. By this time it was 12:30 a.m., and we had to get the prescription filled. Luck would have it that the pharmacy we went to was running behind and we had a 40 minute wait before the Rx could be filled. My awesome neighbor friend had come over with her baby to stay at our place so Amelia could sleep while we were gone, so Jeff brought me home to relieve her, then went out to get the meds. Those helped me relax, but didn't really take care of the pain, so I didn't sleep that night. Then, I had a reaction to the pain pills that resulted in some episodes of vomitting in the morning-- perfect! I started taking a good dose of Advil and finally had the presence of mind to do a hot compress, which made the pain more manageable.

My naturopathic doctor is wonderful, and had an appt. available for me at noon. When she looked in my ear, she just kept saying "Oh dear. Oh no. Oh dear." When pressed for more descriptors, she said that I have something like a strep infection on my eardrum, that it had lots of little blisters all over it. I looked up the name of the condition and it was described as "exquisitely painful." Yes. Also something called glue ear-- fluid stuck behind my eardrum, kind of holding the eardrum back there-- not especially painful, but it makes it feel and sound like my ear is plugged, and can take a long time to resolve. She was very sympathetic and helpful, and had some good recommendations. I actually spent an hour and a half with her!

So, that was yesterday. Since then, the pain has gotten much better. And now Jeff is coughing. Amelia is still recovering, I am trying to catch up on sleep and kick this thing. We're a fun group to be around! In general, we don't catch a lot of colds and viruses. Amelia has never had an ear infection and is rarely sick. But it seems like we get all the crazy stuff-- Amelia was only sick twice last year, and both times it was with hand, foot and mouth disease. Last fall we went to the ER for Jeff. And I have stuff happen like this and broken-ribs-from-coughing-with-pneumonia-while-pregnant. Come on! At least we've had a long weekend to be miserable in, and I'm hoping for a more normal week ahead. I guess all of those projects I had planned out will just have to wait. And maybe we'll even be able to see people in a week or two...

Opportunities

As stressful as a job loss and new time of transition can be, I have been thinking a lot lately of the unique gift the unknown brings. We are at a crossroads again, and we have another chance to stop and ask ourselves what we want. To rehash or rearrange our priorities. To dream a little. While Jeff genuinely loved his job, it wasn't quite enough for us financially, and though I have been thankful to have a husband that works full time, I still want to be able to work and share the parenting a little more equally. As we look around, we are coming up with new ideas and some things that were merely on the radar two years ago have now become quite important. I have given Portland a good go, and am not too attached to living here at this point. My business is not in a place that I would lose much if we moved somewhere. And if we stay here, we have some ideas of possibilities we might still take advantage of. We are open.

One opportunity that has come up is the possibility of Jeff taking a job working for the Department of Defense, on a military base overseas. The pay and benefits would meet our needs, and I have been hankering for a good adventure. We are looking at two possible locations, one in Germany and one in Sicily. So far, I have been afraid to hope too much. When this possibility came up, I had absolutely no hesitation-- this is the perfect time to pack up and go. Of course, Sicily seems too dreamy to be real, with all of that ocean and sunshine and citrus fruits, the blend of Italian, Greek and Tunisian cultures (and the food!!)... Jeff is deep in the application process, and so far it is all looking positive. Still, I am afraid to hope too much-- I want to be content with staying here. Although I don't feel like we have built much here in the last two years (despite much effort,) and am feeling a bit discouraged in that regard. I'll keep you posted on the application process. In the meantime, you praying types can keep us in mind as we seek direction for our family and ask for contentment-- no matter where we land.

Our Family's Favorite Dinner

At least once a week, we are all very happy with what's on our dinner table. The meal feels elaborate but really was not too much work. Lots of options and colors, and we actually leave the table feeling full. It's Zataar Chicken Night! The zaatar chicken and rice are really good, but it's mostly all of the accompaniments that makes the meal so satisfying. There are so many options for what you can put out with this Middle Eastern meal: pickles or chutneys, hummus and tahini sauce, feta cheese and fresh herbs, any kind of simple vegetable, dolmas, babaganoush... My favorite is a simple herbal green salad.
This time the extras were hummus, tahini sauce, carrot-ginger pickle, and red cabbage saurkraut with dill seeds.


To make Zataar Chicken:
In a medium-sized pot, pile onions cut into thin wedges, frozen boneless chicken pieces (I use thighs,) a good chunk of butter, lots of lemon juice or sliced preserved lemons, zataar spice mixture (available at World Market or Middle Eastern grocers-- probably La Habra Ranch Market) and some water or chicken stock to keep it from going dry. Simmer on medium- low heat for 1/2 an hour or longer until the meat is easily shredded, then season with more salt, if needed.
OK, so the actual chicken dish is not very photogenic-- that is a big reason for the colorful sides!

I usually serve it with rice or quinoa to which I have added a spoonful of bacon grease, cubes of cilantro that you buy at TJ's and a squeeze of lemon-- while it's cooking. And of course you can't go wrong with steamed greens drizzled with tahini sauce.

I enjoy making homemade pickles and preserves and usually use formulas from the Nourishing Traditions cookbook. I also recently made quick radish pickles from this recipe. Amelia loves them, and even likes to drink the juice out of the dish when they're gone!
What about you? What is your family happy to eat again and again?

You knew it was coming... I now present to you:
The Silver Lining

Well, the Terrible Leaking Pipe Problem is finally over with. It took about a week, and although I still haven't put everything away, our kitchen is 100% functional and a little 'purdier' than when we started.
Since our cabinets were all rotted and mildewy, we had to get rid of them. Instead of putting in more cabinets, I had the chance to do something I'd always thought about: putting our butcher block countertop on turned legs, making it look more like piece of furniture.
It was a bit of an ordeal to find what we needed, but we ended up screwing two legs together for the right height. I found a duvet cover for $10 at IKEA, and cut that up and turned it into curtains. I hope to find the right racks tonight for storage underneath. By the way, the whole fiasco ended up costing us much less than I had feared, and helped support some qualified neighbors who are currently out of work and thrilled to help.
I want to thank you all for all of your nice comments and support. The encouragement, empathy and prayers really did make me feel better throughout the whole lame ordeal. In fact, I had been wanting to do this part of the project anyway, and the upside was that I was forced into going for it. I'd like to put it out there that, should another unfortunate event such as this one happen again, forcing us into home improvements that we would otherwise never consider due to our precarious financial situation, please let it be the bathroom.

Make or Buy?

I know most of us are trying to economize on everything, especially groceries. I found a good article online about which pantry staples are actually cheaper to make, which ones we save money (not to mention the time!) on by buying instead.

Aaack!

I had been smelling mildew for a while. We couldn't find the leak, but knew it was affecting the insides of our cupboards. It got worse and worse, and started making me sick. Today is the day that someone came to take our cupboards out, dig into the wall and find the leaking pipe. It was not good, not good at all. Lots of mold and rot and bad news. I hope to have a kitchen sink back by the end of the week, water in our house by tonight. Here's a picture of where we stand:
Needless to say, I won't be cooking dinner tonight. On top of the other news, this all just feels like a bit too much for me today.

Here we go again...

Well, it was two years ago that we were living in California, looking for a job for Jeff in Oregon or Washington. We knew we'd be moving in the summer, but had no idea where. Many trips later, we packed up and moved, and Jeff finally had a job that he really loved. It has been a good two years for him, and we see that job as a big gift for our family. We got news this week that Jeff (along with many others) is going to be laid off in the next month or so.

So, here we are again, looking for a job for Jeff. Right now our financial situation is the most difficult it has been in our married life (although not terrible,) so there are a lot of unknowns for our family. I'm not super upset or anything-- it's just one of those situations where I feel very intrigued about what the future will hold, and how all the puzzles will be solved. His current job wasn't quite paying the bills, and my work situation has had many setbacks. We are still taking a loss on my business, but that is not unexpected, and I feel like I have a strong vision for where things will go. I am doing a lot of trainings this summer, and know that there is a strong need for the type of work I'll be doing-- but I certainly don't have any idea when it will begin to provide a steady income.

We're expecting a bit of a rough road ahead for the next few months as we try to navigate through this transition. Jeff feels a real sense of loss over his "dream job" and the wonderful people he has been working with. We were surprised to find ourselves the first people in our circle of friends and family to be in this situation, but are thankful to have some family around us for support. Of course, being the optimist that I am, I am imagining that Jeff could actually find a better job that will actually cover our living costs and be a blessing to us. We know that God will take care of all our needs, and are working hard to quell the anxiety that wants to win over the sense of peace and trust we have in our hearts. Of course, your prayers and thoughts would be appreciated as we launch into job search mode again.

Easter

I'm a little late on reporting about our Easter Sunday, but I actually took pictures, so there's no way I can skip posting about it.

On Saturday I got some time alone and went to the farmer's market in downtown. I was so glad that I was by myself, since it was incredibly crowded. I spent a lot of time standing still in the middle of a swarm of people waiting for someone to move so I could edge a little closer to a produce stall. Still, it was a lot of fun, and of course such a treat to get a cup of coffee and sample hazelnuts, fresh breads, chocolates and fruit. The interesting thing was that many of the hot items there were things that grow in our fairly uncultivated yard: branches of flowering quince and pear blossoms, miner's lettuce, daffodils, tips of flowering cabbage (it was nice to see that I can still use those!), pea tendrils, etc. I came away with fresh leeks, dried wild mushrooms, a variety of greens, local honey, and a gorgeous bouquet of tulips.

On Sunday morning, we got up early for a "sunrise service" at Mt. Tabor park. The emphasis was less on sunrise and more on keeping dry in the rain and mud. It was a small gathering, which was really nice. Amelia did her best to curb her natural instinct to entertain the circle of grownups around her while we prayed and sang and read. It was sweet to celebrate Christ's resurrection at the very beginning of our day, and carry that with us throughout the other parts.

We invited Jeff's sister's family over for brunch on Sunday, and I finally had a good excuse to make a quiche-- Jeff and A don't eat dairy, and A doesn't eat eggs, meanwhile, I love quiche and omelets. I went to several different stores to find a pretty ceramic pie dish, since I had given mine away. I wasted most of the afternoon on that fruitless search, but ended up using a spring form cake pan instead. It turned out looking so beautiful, I don't know if there's really a good reason to make one any other way now! Anyway, I used the leeks, mushrooms and greens from the market, and have been enjoying the leftovers heated in the oven for breakfast all week. I also made this Czech Easter Bread, and although it was very fancy, the recipe had a lot of holes in it that I had to make up for and it turned out tasty but not as beautiful as I'd hoped. Jeff's sister brought a giant spiral cut ham and some fruit salad and the seven us put a tiny dent in the food we set out. No worries though, we have been enjoying our share of the ham every day since then, and I have plans for a big pot of split pea soup.

The egg hunt was a simple affair with dyed eggs and a few odds and ends. In the future I think I'll try to always have at least three kids involved, it's just too hard not to compete and compare when there's only one other person. At the end, it was hard to get a happy picture of both of the cousins, but we know they had a great time, all told!


This is Amelia saying "Happy Easter!" Since Sunday, it has been nice to be greeted occasionally by her with "He is risen! He is risen indeed!" Indeed. How wonderful.

Who told you about that?

Amelia has been walking around rubbing a spoon on her face. "I'm shaving. I need to get all smooth for night-night time."

Taadaa!
(Alternate title: From "Yuck!" to "Wow!")

Of course I can't show you our new paint job until you fully appreciate how awful our house has been looking since we moved in. I also chose a photo with extreme weather contrast to today's glorious climate.

Seriously, who chooses peach and gray? Who?!

As most of you know, we had our house painted by the city of Portland, thanks to their lead paint abatement program. How wonderful! We just had to paint our doors and porches, they took care of the rest!

Aah, much better!

I wasn't really into bright colors when I lived in California. Somehow, enduring two long, gray winters here has completely changed that! When the weather allows, we eat most of our meals outside. Now we have a nice view!

Health Update
The Verdict: Sleep it Off!

I recently did another Adrenal Stress Index (ASI) test, to check my cortisol levels and see how they compared to those in my original labs. Unfortunately, the results were very troubling-- it came back worse than the first. Of course, this was incredibly discouraging. Before letting me get too panicky about it, my naturopath followed it up with a blood test to see if those lousy results would be confirmed. Fortunately, the cortisol level in that test came back completely differently.

Without going into a big biology lesson, I will try to briefly explain what this means. As I have mentioned before, cortisol is the stress hormone, and chronic high levels can be very damaging. However, we need a certain amount of cortisol in our tissues in order to have energy to do normal stuff every day. The ASI test I took indicated that I have very little cortisol in my tissues (close to none)-- which is obviously why I feel so lousy. On the other hand the cortisol in my blood test was actually high. What this translates to is that I always feel quite keyed up like I need to run from a bear, but I don't actually have the energy to do much. The important issue now is to get the adrenaline out of my blood and into my tissues-- which would help me feel more calm and energetic.

My ND consulted with with some other doctors about this unusual situation, and the first thing that came up was my quality and quantity of sleep-- both of which have been poor. Apparently, that is the missing link for getting the cortisol where it belongs. I was so excited when she told me that I would have to start taking Benadryl on nights when I am unable to sleep. This is seriously awesome news for me, something I have been fantasizing about-- just knocking myself out until I'm all rested up! Other parts of the ASI showed improvements in my hormone production and immunity, so once I can get enough rest I should be in pretty good shape.

The other good news is that I am no longer on exercise restriction. In fact, the other part of the cure for high levels of cortisol in the bloodstream is exercise. I am very very happy about this, since exercise has always been a key stress management tool for me. Plus, all of this sitting around resting and trying to eat more has inevitably led to some extra weight I am looking forward to working off.

It's been a bit of a roller coaster in the last month with all of this stuff, but I am so encouraged overall. Leaving the Dr.'s office with orders to sleep and exercise made me cry with relief most of the way home. Especially since I was afraid that the news was going to be much worse!

Portland Daily Weather Checklist:

Giant Snowflakes.... Check!
Pileup of Hailstones... Check!
Rain, Rain, Rain... Check...
Beautiful Blue Skies.... Check!
Sleet... Check.
Mystery and suspense... Check and check!

The Sweetest Papa Ever...

I came home from the grocery store to a real tea party, complete with crackers, hot tea, guests and music (Amelia chose Emmylou Harris.)

The guests of honor were not dolls or animals, but letters. This is a kid who loves to read! I have a feeling that cow was really hoping to be invited, but trying not to mtake it personally.

Amelia has a special Chinese tea set that she got for Christmas from her "Tita," my dear friend Dorothy.

When all of the roiboos tea had been sipped, they closed the festivities with a reading of some A.A. Milne poetry, and thanked their guests for attending.

Let me just say...

That I was indescribably relieved to check the mail and find a contract renewal for Jeff's job for the 2009- 2010 school year. If you remember, he missed the pink slips by two people last year-- it is always a bit dicey when your employer makes these decisions not based on merit, but on seniority-- and Jeff is the relative newbie. Whew!

Making up for a lack of pictures....

I think we may be getting to an age where I can get some reasonable pictures of Amelia-- especially now that she "gets" what I'm doing and realizes that she may have something cute to look at later if she cooperates. "Smile" still doesn't really work, but "Show me your teeth!" does!


Yesterday we went downtown for a long walk. This papier mache horse was a fun discovery! Then we almost knocked it over onto the fancy car in the background.
This one does really look like she's just showing us her teeth. She has a really interesting bite that will hopefully not end up being too expensive down the road. In the meantime, I love the big spaces between her teeth and this is just as good as a smile!

A Parenting Reflection

Yesterday, Amelia's classroom was visited by "Uncle Steve" and his collection of reptiles. There were snakes, chameleons and some other reptiles. One of the snakes was 10 ft. long. Amelia was pretty scared, and was held by a grown up the whole time, but couldn't stop talking about all of the animals and Uncle Steve all the way home. She also talked to Papa all about it at dinner, describing the snakes and chameleon and telling us what Uncle Steve said to her: "It's alright, it's alright, it's alright. Don't be scared, don't be scared." She had a happy afternoon and evening, and then trotted off to bed.

I was very happy to see Amelia so cheerful and my biggest goal for the day was to get to bed at 9:00-- I've been sick for a while, and sleep hasn't been as good as it should be. So when Mimi started crying after a little while, Jeff and I both got a little tense. Jeff went up there and comforted her, then came back downstairs. She started crying again, so it was my turn. She was complaining about the noises she heard in her room, and kept saying that she was having a hard time. I talked about our noisy world and laid down with her for a long time. She was OK when I left, but began crying five minutes later. I was so tired and beginning to feel frustrated-- and trying to brace myself for a very long night. Then I remembered about the "creature feature" at school, and that it had been scary for her, even though she had seemed fine for the rest of the day.

I realized that there were probably some genuine fears that needed to be addressed. This time Jeff went upstairs, and instead of trying to get her back to sleep, he got her up and talked about the snakes and "Uncle Steve." It came out that she didn't know where the snakes were now, that maybe they were somehow in her room. She and Jeff talked about where they were kept, and he assured her that they were in a box at Uncle Steve's house now. After that, she went right to sleep. She woke up once, crying and saying that she was scared, but was easily soothed and slept all night after that.

It's easy for me to slip into thinking my child is just being difficult, for no good reason. Of course, this attitude doesn't work for either of us. I am always glad when I stop and try to see things from her point of view and have real compassion. When I imagine what she is thinking or feeling, I can't feel very frustrated with her for her behavior. It is not easy being a toddler, as cushy as the job description may look! It must be so confusing and frightening to not have a full understanding of how the world works. She had just been introduced to all of these weird creatures-- if they can get into her classroom, what is keeping them out of her dark room at night? It felt so good last night to be successful in our attempts to help her through the experience, to give her some assurance and closure about her fears. I am reminded to keep her perspective in mind, and to just try to understand her when I feel frustrated. I needed that.

Work Update.

I have been thinking a lot about my work, but not saying much....

First of all, I haven't been working-- at all! Before Christmas, my studio space flooded. There was way too much snow piled up on a flat roof, and as it all began melting, water started running down the back walls like a waterfall. Fortunately, all of the damage was covered by insurance, but that also means that it needed to be fixed through the insurance company's process. That is to say, It's. Still. Not. Fixed. I have been given several dates by which I should be back in business, but none of those have happened. I'm hoping for next week.

There is a silver lining, although even that has both good and bad news. The good news is that I have not been paying rent. The bad news is that this is really good since I haven't had many calls in the new year. At first, I thought maybe I was just getting a little break and would have a month off in which I was not really losing any money. Now that it has stretched into almost three months and there is still little interest, I am getting nervous-- but still thankful that I am not paying rent!

I have used some of the free time to get started on the beauracracy of getting onto some insurance panels-- a long process! I don't really want to get work through insurance companies, since they really control a lot of what you do, but I realize that with "the economy" and all, many people can no longer afford bodywork unless it is covered by insurance-- I'm just giving myself one more option for getting enough work.

Another positive here is that I have had a lot of opportunity to just think about the type of massage practice I'd like to have. In the past, most of my work has been deep tissue, orthopedic body work that is rather taxing for me. I have had a lot of success with this and really enjoy the problem solving aspects and the more dramatic changes in a person's pain levels or range of motion. On the other hand, I don't feel like this type of work is very sustainable for my body, and I have found much gentler therapies that really work, and that I really enjoy using.

Beyond the physical aspect of the work, I would like to shift my focus from the purely physiological effects of massage more to the psychological/ emotional component that certain types of massage address. More specifically, I would like to specialize in women's health. I recently took a course on abdominal/pelvic massage which opened up so many new ideas for me. I think that this is a really important time in history for women. Not so much in terms of equality or achievement, but in the way we are talking about our experiences in life as women. Ladies are sharing with one another about what it's like to have a miscarriage, to struggle with not being able to concieve a baby, about disappointment with motherhood. Women are becoming empowered to leave abusive relationships, are actively pursuing healing from sexual abuse they suffered as children (many of these women are in their 50's-- they have waited this long!) and others are openly seeking support for traumatic experiences related to their gender and or sexuality. This is really exciting!

I have touched on this subject before, but an important part of working with someone's body is the acknowledgment that our emotions/ thoughts have a direct impact on our tissues. Emotions are chemicals that, when they are unable to be released, are stored within our bodies and manifest in aches, pains and disease. Likewise, when problematic areas are worked on, emotions can be released. Bodywork cannot heal the experiences, but it can help a person work through them-- even if the emotional damage happened a long time ago. I love the idea of being able to work on areas of the body that are specific to our experience as women-- namely, the uterus and pelvis. So much of what we believe about ourselves as women can affect our bodies on a cellular level--in the same way that when our bodies malfunction it can affect us on a mental/ emotional level. I am thinking in particular of women who struggle with infertility, or those who were unable to deliver their children the "natural" way and had caesarean births or even struggled with being able to breastfeed (I raise my hand on all counts.) These "failures," and so many others, while easily rationalized on a physical level, have a serious affect on our psyches and our experiences as women. And of course these feelings find their way right back into our bodies!

I am feeling so much excitement about this new direction. I have realized that much of my body's own healing process involves resolution of emotional issues, and I have been able to get some of that work done on myself (and I will continue to do so.) As a side note, after I took the course on the pelvic work, I left feeling great-- I can hardly exaggerate about the improvement I experienced! Anyway, I plan to use that type of work, along with the cranio-sacral therapy (CST) I already practice, and still incorporating other modalities that I have always used. This year, I plan to take further CST classes, as well as breast massage (it may sound crazy, but there is actually a serious need out there, particularly for women at risk for breast cancer,) somato-emotional release and lympatic drainage. That sounds busy, and I hope it will be. I have waited for such a long time to have my own massage practice. I am a little anxious about the lull here, but thankful to have the opportunity to reevaluate where I am and where want to go with it. Thanks for listening!

All images courtesy of flickr.

He's Moved!

Just so you know, Jeff moved his blog location. His new home is at mullinizms.blogspot.com.
Go say hello!